I can't sleep

So I'm sitting here at 1am* on my 40th birthday and I can't sleep. And now my Netflix isn't working. And my phone is on the charger. But my mind is spinning, spinning, spinning, so... perfect time to blog, right?

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Right now at the top of my mind is an unpleasant topic, at least for me. Have you ever seen a woman with a man, or listened to one of your girlfriends talk about a guy, and you just know they have a crush on him, even if they haven't told you yet?

Yeah. Right now there are two women in our circle who I'm pretty sure have crushes on my husband. Now, I have no flat out evidence, nothing's been outright said (obviously), and no, I don't think anyone has done anything, but... you know that feeling. Not even the gut feeling of the wife, but the feeling when you see your (hopefully single) friend crushing on a (hopefully single) guy and there's just something about the way she talks, or how she is around him that tells you how she feels before she actually tells you how she feels. That. Except instead of being happy & giddy & nervous for her you're kinda ticked off and a little sick to your stomach because she's in your circle and both of you see her regularly and this is a little close to home for your taste. But you kinda have to be nice, or at least cordial, to her, because there is absolutely no evidence that she (or he) has done anything wrong, so for you to just become a complete b**** would be social suicide, and possibly give her reason to feel no regret or guilt over pursuing what is yours, so you're nice. Even though you want to not be nice. And did I mention there are two of them? Ugh!

So... that. That is on my mind a lot lately. And it's not fun.

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The topic second-most in my thoughts lately is someone else in my loop who is, quite frankly, driving me crazy with the way they are twisting Scripture.

Here's the deal: I was raised with certain Christian beliefs. Thru the years and my own journey to know God better I have come to realize that some of those beliefs were not biblical. Thru the years I have gone to churches of varying religious denominations, talked with believers with a multitude of differing views.

And here's the thing. If someone can show me in Scripture why what I have believed might be wrong, I have no problem accepting that I need to either change my beliefs, or dig deeper into the Word and into prayer and figure out what's going on. I have done this more than once. On some issues I now believe completely differently than how I was raised. On other issues digging deeper has done nothing more than to show me how biblically sound my beliefs were to begin with.

But if you can show me in the Word, if it is not only in the Word, but makes sense in the entire context of the passage, in the historical context of the day, in the sociological context, etc. If it all fits and makes sense, then we're good. We are open to considering it.

This person? Ugh. Pulls individual verses out of context constantly. Has been called on this repeatedly by several other believers, including myself, and still does it. When challenged they tend to either change the subject to another verse altogether, change the subject altogether, or shut down the conversation.

For whatever reason, they have come across an idea that they want to hold on to, they have found other likeminded individuals, and have made their minds up. No matter how many Scriptures you show them that contradict what they are saying, no matter how many times you explain that if you put that verse back in the context of the entire passage, then it doesn't really say that at all, if you usual actual historical fact to explain to them why what they are saying is just not factual... doesn't matter. Their mind has been made up and there is no talking to them.

And it frustrates the crap out of me. It bothers me. I have been talking to them and praying for them for months and it seems to be no avail. I just keep trusting that the Word of the Lord will not return void (Isaiah 55:11) and one day they will see the Light. It's just really hard for me to see them going down this path, because I know them. I know how they were raised. I know their parents. For some years we attended the same church. I know that they were raised in biblical Truth. So to see them turn their back on it, and pervert the Word of God and twist His Word... oh, it gets to me, right in the heart. It saddens me, and angers me, and worries me all at the same time.

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Lastly, the thing that's been on my mind is my recovery from vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I was five weeks out yesterday. The number everyone wants to know: I'm down 34 lbs. I've dropped one pants size and am on the verge of dropping another.

I feel better than I have in a long time, and I feel like I'm getting my life back.

I'm still on a restricted diet. I started on clear liquids, then pureed foods, and now I'm on soft foods. I will be on soft foods for another three months.

This topic needs its own post, so for now I will leave it at that.

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Hoping all of you are well! Thanks for checking in!




* I schedule out my posts to be published at 12noon, and have for years. So now ya know.

The post in which I upset someone. Probably.

So, not really sure how to start this gently, so let me launch right in.

But first, a disclaimer. Some of this stuff I've learned the hard way. Because I've messed it up. And I'm sure I'll get some of it wrong again in the future. And maybe I'm getting some of it wrong now. But I also strongly feel that this needs to be said. So here goes.

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To my Christian friends:

Either you're a Christian, or you're not. Either you believe the Bible is the holy inspired Word of God, or you don't.

This picking & choosing what you believe, or maybe just what you spout, based on your own opinions, or current societal standings, or what's popular at the moment is not okay.

Either it's the Truth, or it isn't.

Yes, there are some so-called "gray" areas. If what you read in the Bible conflicts with what your mind tells you is logical, then I beg you to spend some time in the Word and in prayer, studying the scriptures that are causing you confusion. Look up the original languages if necessary. Research the background. Read commentaries if that helps. Talk to other Christians whom you trust. But work it out. Don't just assume it's okay to bend the Scripture to make it easier for you to swallow. It's not meant to be easy, it's meant to be truth.

A little vague? Maybe. But in my experience what is a struggle point for one Christian may not be so for another. You see the struggle isn't in the Scripture themselves, it's in how our own experiences, culture, and thinking affect our translation. And since those are different for every individual, so it stands that the struggle points are different as well.

To give  you examples, here are some issues that I have struggled with in the past, when what I read in the Bible seemed to conflict with what my own thinking said was logical:

- divorce
- modest dress
- drinking alcohol
- homosexuality
- premarital sex
- relationships with nonChristians
- interracial marriage

For you, those issues might be very black & white, but you may have others that you struggle with that are not a source of struggle for me. Whatever those are, if you find yourself attempting to dismiss or twist Scripture to fit your current way of thinking, or what is popular, or what your culture says is okay, I beg of you to stop and take some time to really study the Word before making a firm stance.

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While we're on the topic of sins & scripture, this whole picking-one-and-harping-on-it-as-if-it's-the-only-thing-that-matters thing is getting really old as well.

Now which sin it is tends to vary depending on your church environment, family background, etc. but social media outlets have made it easier & easier for Christians to "gang up" on one particular group of sinners.

And that's just wrong.

The Bible is very clear that it takes just one sin, any one sin, one ounce of impurity, to keep you from the Gates of Heaven. It is very clear that the only way to cover that sin is by the blood of Jesus Christ and accepting him as your Saviour.

Any one sin. That white lie you told your boss. The $5 you didn't give back to your spouse after shopping. Anything. Think back on every little thing you might have possibly done "wrong" in your life. Heck, just in the past week. Without Christ you just damned yourself for all eternity.

The same as anyone committing that "big" sin you've been harping on.

The current trend is homosexuality, right? So let's judge all gay people, blast them repeatedly, and single them out, making them feel alienated and unloved by the Christian community. Because that's the way to win people to Christ, right?

Wrong. So very wrong.

A few years ago the popular sin to bash was abortion.

When I was a teenager (prior to social media linking us all together in this "cause") I heard a lot about secular music, public schools, and women wearing pants. I mentioned I went to an extremely conservative church, right?

Now, I'm gonna backpedal a little bit. Because I want to be clear.

There is nothing wrong with educating yourself (or if you are in a leadership position, other Christians) about different sins, what does that Scripture specifically mean by mentioning that sin, intellectual discussions, etc.

There is also nothing wrong with approaching someone who is entrapped by sin and attempting to educate them, witness to them, etc.

But there's one caveat: it must be done with love. And yes, that can get tricky at times.

Berating, spouting hate speech, judging, rejecting others because they sin differently than you do is not love. It's just not.

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And since we're on the topic of love:

I think this is one thing that we as Christians struggle with, but I also think we're getting better at it. At least in my world of experience, I've seen improvement.

God is love.

Love.

This doesn't mean  you have to love every single thing that every single person is doing. But it is very clear that we are instructed to love... everyone. Yeah, racking my brain here and can't think of one single person the Bible says it is okay to not love.

Yes, we can gently correct those around us. You correct your children, whom you love, don't you?

But so often I see Christians quick to judge and slow to love, slow to forgive.

And quite frankly, Christian or not, how do you want to be known? As someone quick to judge? or as someone quick to forgive? As someone quick to call out faults? or as someone quick to love others unconditionally?

I admit. I struggle with this on occasion myself. It's not always easy to show love to someone who hurt you, or attacked your family. But isn't it in the hard things that we grow the most? So... love.

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And before my nonChristian (or maybe more liberally minded Christian) friends think they're getting off the hook, there's more:

I am sick & tired of people claiming to be open-minded and tolerant, claiming to hate intolerance, yelling at people for not being more accepting of everyone then turn around and judge and blast and ream those who think differently than you do.

You don't get to have it both ways.

Either you want tolerance and acceptance of everyone, or you want a world where anyone who thinks differently than you do is fair game.

Don't believe in a higher power? Fine. That's your place on your journey.

But that time you made a joke referencing the Flying Spaghetti Monster? Disrespectful to millions around the world and alienating to the three co-workers who overheard it.

Don't believe in creationism? Fine.

But that time you claimed anyone who didn't believe in evolution was an idiot? How tolerant was that?

Think those picketing abortion clinics should be arrested, screw their First Amendment rights?
But think those gathering in support of gay marriage should be left alone, because they're simply exercising their right to free speech?

Really?

Yes, there's a lot of work that Christians (including myself) need to do to really walk the walk.

But the hypocrisy I see from the other side is just as bad. If you want tolerance, you have to live tolerance. And that includes accepting and tolerating those who think differently than you, those you disagree with, even those who you think are just wrong.

To claim that you want tolerance and acceptance, and then in the next breath disrespect, call out, or yell about those who think differently than you do is not only hypocrisy, it ends up undermining your entire argument.

So... stop.

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So there ya go. The post that I'm sure will probably upset someone. But that I also think needed to be said.

As always, thanks for checking in.

Explaining Death to a Three-Year-Old

Well, if you've followed me for long, you might gather that we prefer the open & honest path to difficult subjects with Jena. Of course, we attempt to word things on her level, but we've never shielded her from difficult topics. Death is no exception.

Jena has attended every funeral we've gone to since she was born. She went to her first one when she was about 6 months old.

And of course, you may remember when her kitten met an untimely death.

So our daughter is no stranger to the topic. But still, she's only 3 yrs old. And... this is the first close person to her to have passed.

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When I got the phone call the night Papaw went into the hospital, Jena was with me. I told her Papaw (my FIL) was very sick and was at the hospital. His heart was very sick. But only adults could go where he was, so she would spend the night with Grandpa (my dad). We had to go fast, and please cooperate and do what I say, because this is an emergency.

Then I had to explain what "emergency" meant. She was proud of her new big word, and insisted on telling everyone that we had an e-mer-gency.

She told me Papaw needed to drink some more water (he always used to say that drinking water makes you better). She also told me that the doctor needed to take his "thing" and listen to Papaw's heart go "ba-boom, ba-boom". Smart kid.

I knew he had passed before we got to the hospital, but chose not to tell her that night. I knew there would be questions, and I knew she wouldn't want to leave me. So I met my dad in the parking lot of the hospital and handed her off, before heading in to be with Jason and the rest of the family (he had been on shift & so drove straight there).

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The next day my dad brought Jena to my mother-in-law's house, where we were. We intercepted them in the driveway, so she wouldn't come in & see all the other people, and the crying. My dad chose to leave immediately.

Our conversation went something like this (Jason & I did this together, but I don't remember who said what, so words in blue are both of ours):

Mommy & Daddy need to talk to you about something really serious, okay?
Remember last night when I told you Papaw was really sick? His heart was really sick?

nods

Well, he died. Papaw died.

Papaw died?

Yes, Papaw died.

Where he die?

(we knew this was coming, and Jason had prepared for it)

We walked her to the back yard, where Papaw had collapsed while working on the fence he was installing.

We showed her the spot.

Right here. Papaw was putting in a new fence, and he collapsed right here. The ambulance came to get him, but he was too sick, and he died on the way to the hospital.

long pause

If your heart no go ba-boom ba-boom no more, you die.

Yes, baby. If your heart stops going ba-boom, ba-boom, you die.
So Papaw's dead. He's in Heaven now, with God. He won't be here anymore.
Do you have any questions?

shakes head 'no'

Okay, well you let us know if you have any questions, or want to talk about anything, okay?

We went inside, where everyone immediately fell silent. Someone mouthed to me "does she know?", and I shook my head yes. Jena got down & started playing.

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A couple of hours later, we were eating dinner (yummy church lady food), on the back deck.

Jena asked her first question.

Papaw died...

Yes, hunny, Papaw's dead.

Will Daddy finish the fence?

Of course, baby. Of course, Daddy will finish Papaw's fence for him.

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Later that night, I was giving her a bath at my mother-in-law's house. Finally in a room alone, relaxed, the questions started coming. And then she asked for Jason, wanting to talk to Daddy about "dead" and "deading".

We talked a long time that night. I don't remember all of the conversation, but I do remember preparing her for the visitation & funeral, explaining that we would see Papaw one more time.

How we see Papaw? Papaw's in Heaven.

crap

Well, hunny, when you go to Heaven, you get a new body, that's not sick anymore, not hurt anymore, it's just perfect! So Papaw's in Heaven with his new body, but his old body is still here. When we go to the funeral we'll see his old body one more time.

She thought for a minute.

I think Papaw's in his new body dancing in Heaven.

Yes, baby, I bet he is.

At one point, I could tell she was conflicted. She looked as if she wanted to cry, but was holding it back.

And so, I explained.

It's okay to be sad, hunny. We can be happy for Papaw that he's in Heaven now, we can be happy for him that he got his new body and isn't sick anymore, but we can still be sad for us, because we miss him so much. That's okay.

I was crying before I finished. And so was she.

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Over the next few days, we talked a lot about Papaw in Heaven, in his new body, talked about his old body. Talked about being happy for him, being sad for us. I swear, I think she gets it better than any of us.

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We took her to preschool two days after Papaw died. I informed the teachers, and told them that we were open & honest with her, that we were Christians, so that is the direction our conversations come from, and that if Jena had any questions or wanted to talk, they were welcome to talk with her, as much as they were comfortable.

She went to her old babysitter's twice (three times? I don't remember), and we also informed them that they were welcome to talk to her if she wanted. We are very familiar with the family, and knew their beliefs were the same as ours, so just told them to be honest with her if she wanted to talk.

Same at church on Sunday. She went to her class as usual, and we informed the teacher.

She talked with the babysitter a little, but not with anyone else. And that's okay too.

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I could go on & on about the conversations we had with her the past few weeks. I really could. It's amazing to hear a three year old who seems to get it better than most adults.

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As always, thanks for checking in.

Not Just Another Blog Challenge

<a href="http://www.kyfirewife.blogspot.com"> <img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUiRXq8blNajx-I6aSUOuEBV_dl10BygCvqP3bv7TGZXw4ei1ML2q8tbqruXyZZ-5XnfhTHsL3Hu_7VagnJkkiiwfnxZx1RzjJmA3x4jF-6GvhlbowaUk7OROobrnBZS3MNhwHu9NLyGpV/s1600/blog_challenge.jpg" /> </a>

I know, I know... aren't there enough of these blog challenges floating around?

Yes, yes there are. But... quite frankly it seems like a lot of them ask the same things. Or some of the same things.

So a few months ago, I started making a list. Questions for a blog challenge of my own. Topics I've never seen in a blog challenge (not that I'm an expert or anything, just things I hadn't seen). Things I think might be interesting. Things that, if answered honestly, tell a bit about who a person really is.

When possible, pictures would be awesome.

Answer one question per blog post. As frequently as is convenient for you, but let's aim for answering at least one question per week, just to keep things flowing.

And please use the badge shown above to link back to this post, 'kay?

Hope you'll play along!

Here's the list:

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1. what's in your fridge

2. what's in your car

3. your first job (doesn't include chores)

4. what's so great about your place of worship

5. something you side-eye (something you're judgy about)

6. how are your current spiritual (religious) views different from how you were raised?

7. something you struggle with

8. your past significant others (does not include "just dated", but those you would classify as an actual relationship)

9. what occupation(s) you've been told you'd be good at

10. think about a change in your life you want / have been wanting. What is it / how do you picture your life?

(ie what makes you want it)

11. best thing about dating

12. worst thing about dating

13. best thing about married life

14. worst thing about married life

15. best thing about being a parent

16. worst thing about being a parent

17. something people (at least your blog readers) don't yet know about you

(little known facts)

18. oldest clothes in your closet (that you still wear)

I am not easily offended. Are you?

I touched on this in an earlier post, but this is something that certainly has been bothering me for a while.

It seems like if someone disagrees with something I've said, they take offense with me.

Now, to be clear, I have not said anything that is actually offensive, just something that they don't happen to agree with.

Could be religious / spiritual in nature, or political, or even just some random item, like, say my personal priorities, how I prioritize my work, or some random observation.

That's right, someone at work recently got personally offended, like really super-duper upset, like "can-we-talk-this-out-because-I-don't-want-it-to-affect-our-relationship" upset, because I prioritize my responsibilities differently than they do.
No really. They got that upset because I didn't adopt their priority system. Because I see things differently. Because I disagreed.

I did not berate them, insult them, humiliate them, etc. When they insisted I do it their way, I declined politely, and explained why. And this, to them, was horribly offensive and insulting.

But I really shouldn't have been surprised. I see it everywhere.

It's as if difference is no longer tolerated. In our society that supposedly focuses on celebrating differences, what they really mean is trying to make sure we're all exactly the same.

I am not at all offended when people disagree with me. They have every right to think it & to say their thoughts. Even though I disagree. But I am not offended. Not one tiny bit. As long as they are respectful, or even just neutral, in their delivery, then what is offensive about it?

Honestly - religion, politics, economics, what-not - I don't really understand why people get offended, or feel disrespected, because others don't agree with them. To be offended or feel disrespected simply because we disagree, even on very important life topics? I just don't understand.
 
I've recently come to realize that I'm tired of censoring myself. Really am.

Yeah, some of you are probably thinking "what? you censor yourself?" Ha!

Yeah, I really do. There's so much that I haven't said for fear of hurting someone's feelings, or for being seen as "offensive"

Lately, it seems like I can't voice my opinions on anything without someone getting offended.

WHY?

Why are you offended?

So you don't agree with me? So what?!? Why is it offensive to you that I don't agree with you? Why is that disrespectful?
 
What I think is really funny is that the responses that I often get privately for something I've said publicly tend to state that I'm saying what everyone else is afraid to say. Why? Why are others afraid to say it? Ever heard of freedom of speech? I'm not saying anything hateful or hurtful, I'm simply stating my beliefs, or thoughts, or opinions. Heck, sometimes, stating statistics & facts and people have gotten up in arms.

If you find MY personal opinions & beliefs offensive to YOU, then I'm gonna suggest that you have your own issues that you need to deal with, and that maybe it's not my problem at all.

Here's one for you: why is it that it's okay for you to be offended & disrespected when I say what I think, but I'm supposed to listen to what you think and just & smile and be okay?
Why is that? Do I agree with you? No. So.... what? I can be offended with you then? Upset? Angry? Hurt?

No? I'm supposed to just listen to you and not & smile and maybechange my mind and agree with you?

Oh, c'mon! That's not realistic. Or fair. And you know it.
 
If I have truly disrespected you - hurled an insult your way, called you a name, cursed your existence - then fine, be offended.
Have I?
No.
What did I do?
I stated my personal beliefs or opinions.

Did I try to force you to think the same way? Did I hold a gun to your head? Drag you to my chosen place of worship? Pull you into a voting booth & force your hand to mark for my preferred candidates? As you to change your work method? Did I... even ASK that you believe what I believe or think what I think?
No.
So what did I do again?
I stated my personal beliefs or opinions.

Did I ask that you keep your mind open to what I believe / think? Maybe.

Have I suggested in the past that certain groups of people are closed minded because they won't even consider my point of view? Yes, but then again isn't that the definition of closed-minded?

So, wait, what did I do again?

I stated my personal beliefs or opinions.
 
And that offends you.

Wow.

I stated my personal beliefs and opinions.

And you find that disrespectful.

Wow.
 
All I can say is that I'm starting to realize that that reaction - the finding of everything that is contrary to you to be offensive or hurtful - that reaction is not my problem, is not my issue.

And I have realized that I need to make sure I raise my daughter to be the kind of person that respects the fact that everyone has different thoughts, opinions, and beliefs and can gracefully handle disagreements without taking everything so personally.

And that is all. For now.

Random Thoughts on Personal Beliefs

I realize this post is somewhat disjointed, and none of the thoughts are complete.

A lot of this has been stewing around in my mind for a while, and I decided to just go ahead and put it out there, as I have it now.

Subjects separated by a line of  "********"
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Sometimes, our beliefs are interpreted by others as being, in and of themselves, disrespectful. We are expected to change our beliefs to adapt to what our current society accepts as a satisfactory position. And often admonished if we don't.

But I think this is what separates the difference between beliefs, and thoughts or opinions.
My thoughts and opinions may change easily with new information.
My beliefs... well, it would take some absolute for me to change those.

I think a lot of people tend to confuse those things.
To that end, my stance on certain... subjects... has not, and I fully expect, will not change.

This is not to say that I'm not open to discussion. Just that thus far in my life experience, those who have wanted me to change my beliefs have yet to provide sufficient reason or proof for me to.

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God is real. He is everywhere and involved in everything. He does not need to be acknowledged in order to exist, much in the same way that the truth does not have to be believed to still be the truth. How much you choose to acknowledge Him is up to you, but it doesn't change the fact that He is there.

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Where I get upset is when people say or act like you must be less intelligent because your belief system is different than theirs.

There are, apparently, those out there that feel that if you believe in a higher being, then you must be some sort of uneducated idiot. Or a brainwashed crazy. I guess we can take our pick.

I'm sorry that they feel that way. But it also confuses me.

Because the vast majority of the world's religions believe in some higher being, or some divine inspiration, or some connection to the spiritual world.

Which means that apparently billions of us must be uneducated idiots. Or brainwashed crazies. Leaving only a relatively few (in light of the world population) intelligent people to remain as sane, level-headed decision makers.

Or at least this is how it seems that those people think & feel.

Saying that you believe differently than someone else is one thing, we all disagree about something, right? But saying that someone is stupid because you happen to disagree with what they believe is downright disrespectful.

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I'm not trying to insert "my" God into anyone's life. I can't, because He's already there. I'm simply acknowledging that fact. I am not trying to convert anyone (although sometimes I wonder if I should be), I'm simply stating my belief that He is already there.

And yet, somehow, in our society today, simply stating your beliefs can be seen as harassing the people around you.
Not that you are attempting to convert, even asking anyone to attend services with you, or condemning someone for not believing the same.
This can be true even if you are being respectful, even if you are answering their questions about yourself, even if you simply wear a certain religious symbol or have it posted at your desk.

How is simply stating my beliefs disrespectful to anyone? And in our country, whatever happened to Freedom of Speech?

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It is frustrating for religious people to be closed-minded due to their religious beliefs. This is one of the reasons I don't like the word "religion", as it pertains to myself. I have fought this since my early-20s, when I realized that I disagree with some of the teachings of the church I grew up in, and was challenged to figure out which of those teachings were truly based on biblical principles, and which were simply made of men, for whatever reason.

I fight this issue within my own family. I have lost friends over it. It has not been an easy road.

One of the best ways to challenge a Christian on their closed-minded views, is to ask them where in the Bible it says (fill in the blank). Their response will tell you a lot about them. In my experience, they will either:
    a) tell you,
    b) tell you they're sure it's in there, but not exactly sure where, and will take time to look it up, or
    c) get flustered and usually get louder.

As a Christian, this is probably the best way for reinforcing (or sometimes changing) my stance on certain issues: to be challenged like this.

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I have been openly ridiculed by non-believers. I have been poked fun of. I have had professors stand in front of courses and say that anyone who believes the Bible is an idiot (true story).

And it's not just me. I have seen Catholics poked fun of for the ash on their foreheads on Ash Wednesday. I've watched people roll their eyes at Jews for making an attempt to keep kosher. And in recent years I think we've all had the displeasure of hearing a joke or two poking fun at Muslims. I've watched people stare rudely at Amish youth on their rumschpringe. Heard disparaging comments aimed at the Mennonites passing by. And the more I learn the more I think laws against polygamy are little more than the result of religious discrimination.

And these acts seem to be acceptable in our world today. How? Why?

How did it come to be that it is not acceptable for someone to make a statement of faith in public, not hurting anyone, but it is acceptable to poke fun or insult someone observing their religion?

How is that okay?

My experience anyway.

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I don't give science a terrible lot of credit. Science changes constantly, and so I take all scientific "truths" with a grain of salt. Science has never successfully disproven the Bible, but rather consistently reinforces it. It seems like once every few months I'm reading some news story about how science has recently proven that something recorded in the Bible really could have happened, primarily from secular news sources.
So I can believe in a God who is constant, and has been constant since forever, or I can believe in science, which changes constantly.

I prefer the constant.

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Religion may sometimes appear to be all puppies and rainbows, but spirituality isn't.

For instance, I'm pretty sure my grandmother is burning in Hell as we speak. I mean, ultimately the only ones who know for sure are herself & God, but... I'm pretty sure she's in Hell. And yes, that was difficult for me to deal with when she died, and is still difficult to think about (which is why I usually don't).

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As there is God, so there is Satan.

As there is Heaven, so there is Hell.

As there are angels, so there are demons.

As there are blessings, so there are trials.

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Thoughts on Faith Healing

Simply because it's been on my mind lately.

My father-in-law has a heart condition for which he has decided to refuse all medical treatment. Well, he refused all medical treatment, starting over a year ago.

He is relying on God to heal him, if it is His will.

He also talks a lot about positive thinking, and how the Bible tells us to set our thoughts on things above.

"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."    -- Phillipians 4:8

I've found that people are often surprised that I do in fact believe in faith healing. I'm not sure why.

"And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up;..."    -- James 5:16a

I will say, though, that I don't think that healing has to be done by someone especially anointed by the Holy Spirit with the spiritual gift of healing.
But I also believe in the power of positive thinking. It's been proven that having a positive outlook on things actually changes our body's chemistry, improves healing, and just plain old makes us feel better.

And I think they are separate.

And I think that sometimes people are quick to attribute to the supernatural what can be easily explained by the natural. And I don't think that serves God, or does Him justice. In fact, I think that does God a disservice. It makes others less likely to believe us when true miracles occur, because they've heard so many stories about our explainable "miracles" (ie. FireWife's had another "miracle" happen {snicker, snicker}). And it lessens the... specialness (?? - struggling for the right word) when God does perform true miracles.

I also believe that God has endowed certain individuals with knowledge and talents in the medical arts for a reason - so that we can benefit from them. My own story regarding my back injury - I am convinced that God was with me every step of the way, down to the doctors I ended up with, how the surgery panned out, etc. From the moment of my accident I believed God had a reason for me to go thru this injury, and to me, the healing that was performed by medical professionals is no less wondrous than a more supernatural healing.

"...They that be whole need not a physician, but they that are sick."    --Matthew 9:12

So, that is a very short, somewhat disjointed (because I wanted to not go too long) post about my thoughts on faith healing.
 
Thanks for checking in!

The Barber and God

I received this story as an email forward from a friend a few days ago and thought it was too good not to share, so I'm sharing it with you.

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A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed. As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation. They talked about so many things and various subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said: 'I don't believe that God exists.'

'Why do you say that?' asked the customer.

'Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children?

If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things.'

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop.
 
Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard.

He looked dirty and unkempt. The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said to the barber:

'You know what? Barbers do not exist.'

'How can you say that?' asked the surprised barber. 'I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!'

'No!' the customer exclaimed. 'Barbers don't exist because if they did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards, like that man outside.'

'Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come to me.'

'Exactly!' affirmed the customer. 'That's the point! God, too, DOES exist! That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world.'
 

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I really like this story. It's not a perfect picture of God, but it makes a good point.

 

I know God exists because I have experienced His work in my life.

 

If you have not experienced this, you may doubt His existence. And you know what? No matter how many times I tell you what great haircuts I have gotten He has done for me, no matter how many barbershops churches full of satisfied fulfilled customers parishioners you may pass each day, well, for some people none of that will ever be enough. They'll never believe that barbers God exists until they get a haircut realize His work in their own lives

The problem? You can't see how great the barber's God's work can be, until you walk into his shop acknowledge His existence.

Just because you have not gotten your hair cut realized God's work in your life yet, doesn't mean the barber He doesn't exist.
Maybe, just maybe, it simply means that you haven't met hHim yet.

Religion: Path(s) to God ???

**disclaimer** understanding that not all religions share a belief in a single higher power, or "God", as referenced in this entry, but acknowledging that it would be impossible to actually cite the ultimate goal of each & every individual religion in existence

So, there is an idea out there now that seems to be gaining prevalence in our society and it's one that I don't really understand.

The idea is that there are multiple paths to God.

So, basically, the idea is that you are Religion A, but you also think that Religion B, C, D, and E all lead to God also.

It's a very nice, friendly, all-inclusive idea. But quite frankly, it doesn't make much sense to me.

Religion is not inclusive of other religions. It's not. It's kinda why there are other religions. It's kinda why different religions start, why people convert from one religion to another, etc.

Think about it.

Using Christianity as an example, because that is what I am most familiar:

The foundation of Christianity is that Jesus is God made man, is the Son of God, is the Messiah. Right?

Islam acknowledges Jesus as a prophet and a messenger, but makes it clear that Jesus cannot be God.

Judaism also acknowledges Jesus as a prophet and a great man, but does not recognize him as the Messiah.

So if Christianity is true, the other two cannot be, right?. Therefore, if you believe that Christianity is the path to God, then Islam or Judaism cannot be. Or vice versa. If you follow the Quran as a path to Allah, then how can you believe that Christianity is also a path to Allah?

These thoughts have been mulling in my head for a while. Most recently when someone said that they don't like Christianity because Christians have a superiority complex, believing that theirs is the only way to Heaven.

The more I thought about it, the more I thought, wait, is it just Christians? This doesn't make sense. Don't all religions think that theirs is the only way to Heaven, the only path to God? Isn't that why people are the religion they are in the first place?

I mean, right? Am I missing something here? Isn't that why we all, regardless of which religious / spiritual beliefs we hold true, don't we believe them because we, well... believe them? Because we believe that that particular set of beliefs is correct?
So why are Christians getting the bad rap? Why don't we hear about those arrogant Jewish people, or the superiority complex of those Muslims, or how dare that Buddhist think that he's right?

My theory? I think it's because, generally speaking, Christians talk about it. We admit it. We actually come right out and say it.

^"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."  -- John 14:6

But you know what? Why wouldn't you tell the world? If you honestly believed you had found the one true path to God... why wouln't you share it with others? Why would you keep that knowledge to yourself?

So the question I am struggling with... why hasn't anyone else shared their faith with me? Why the secret? Even friends. In my circle of friends / acquaintances: Jewish, Muslim, Wiccan, Hindu. No one has once volunteered to share their faith, to share their beliefs with me. If I have asked questions, they have been happy to answer. But no one has volunteered the information.

Why?

There is a small part of me that is a little bit... offended? hurt?... that none of these people have chosen to share their one path to God / enlightenment with me. Am I not worth that information? Whether or not I choose to embrace it, if they believe they know the truth, do they not care enough about me to share that knowledge with me?

And then, of course, I must turn the mirror back on myself. Since I believe that I know the Truth, who have I not shared it with? Why or why not? and more importantly... what will I do in the future to change?

My Uncle Died

Last Saturday. 1:06pm.

My father's brother.

Cancer. We're assuming.

He'd been in poor health for years: diabetes, heart disease taking the biggest toll on his body.

He was also morbidly obese, which just doesn't help things.

Needed a wheelchair to get around. I think that was more a result of diabetic complications (foot sores) though.

Earlier this year he found out he had cancer. Not sure what kind, but he decided to forego treatments.

This uncle, he & my dad didn't get along. At all. Never reconciled.
Not sure how it started, but I suspect when my father left the Catholic religion it didn't help things. Or maybe that's when it started.

I don't really know because my family generally doesn't talk about these things.

Makes me want to get along better with my siblings.

The Memorial Mass is tomorrow.

I'm not going.
We had already planned to take FireGirl to her first UC football game (it's Homecoming), paid for tickets, etc.
My dad said he wouldn't want FireGirl to miss her first UC game for it.
So we won't.
I ordered flowers to be delivered for it. After confirming with one of my Catholic friends that it would be acceptable.

Oh, yeah. I didn't know if it were acceptable or not because it's not a funeral.

He donated his body to science.

So it's a "Memorial Mass".

So I wasn't sure.

I know Catholics tend to like their traditions & rituals, and wanted to make sure I was respecting that (even if I don't agree myself).

I feel like I should say more, but I don't have anything else to say at this point.

Although there are pages & pages of thoughts still swirling around in my head.

This is all I've got for now.

Later.

How I Know There's a God

Because I know Him. I have a personal relationship with the Lord.

A few days ago I saw a bumper sticker with this graphic:

And it bothered me on a couple of levels. Mostly because it's just disrespectful to the millions of people who believe in a higher power. Even if you don't believe in God, there's no reason to be disrespectful about it. And then, it's troubling because someone whose mind is that closed to the possibility of a higher power, well... it's just frustrating to see anyone's mind closed that tightly.

So how do I know there's a God? Because I know Him. I have a relationship with Him. I talk to Him & He talks to me. I feel His presence.

Someone arguing with me that God does not exist is like someone trying to tell me that... I don't know... my daughter doesn't exist. Or any number of people that I have real, tangible relationships with.

I see His work in my life on a regular basis (details coming in a later post). I have literally felt His presence.

I know that for some of you, who have never experienced this, that this is difficult to grasp, hard to understand, and I'm sure someone out there will read this and think that I must be crazy, but... it's real. God is real.

Look at a sunset, and tell me that was a happy accident of nature. Fathom the complexities of the human body, and tell me that no higher power had a hand in its design. God is, and God is everywhere.

Thoughts on Religion (and a tiny bit on government)

Jene's comments on my Polygamy post have had me thinking. A lot. So these are some of the thoughts that have run thru my head. Consider this kind of a condensed version of a stream of consciousness. Because to post my actual stream of thoughts on this issue would be many, many pages    :)

First of all, I really don't like the word "religion", at least not in the traditional sense, and not when it relates to me.

Why? Because I'm not religious at all. Really, I'm not. Although I was raised as an Independent Baptist, I do not currently claim any religion as my own.

Why? Because religions are created by men, and men are by nature flawed. Because in my experience, religion tends to be a set of man-created rules, regulations, traditions, & rites that just get in the way of getting close to God.

So what word do I prefer? Spiritual.
From dictionary.com I like the definition of "of or pertaining to the soul, as distinguished from the physical nature"

I don't believe what I do because it's in my religion, or because it's what I was taught. Because believe me, a lot of things I believe contradict what I was taught. I believe what I do because I have a personal relationship with the Lord. Something I really should talk more about.

I don't pretend to know all the answers. I don't. People like to say that the Bible is very black & white, but... it's not. Do I believe it's inspired by God? Yes. Do I think our flawed human minds sometimes misinterpret, misuse, or misunderstand the words written therein? Yes.

So how do I read the Bible? Well, through the years I've learned that very few things are actually specifically spelled out in Scripture.
Salvation - pretty clear.  Baptism - pretty clear. Spreading the Word - pretty clear. Women wearing pants - not so clear. Divorce - mostly clear. Death & eternity - very clear. Second Coming - mostly clear. Evolution - blurrily clear.
If things are spelled out clearly, I take them at their word. If there is some... blur, some gray area - I search Scriptures, perhaps even read a commentary, talk to other Christians, but mostly pray about it. Do my best to follow His will concerning that area, but don't close my mind to other interpretations. And I do use my mind. God gave us intellect for a reason, and if things just aren't adding up... then I keep digging.
This has been especially important in my relationship with my husband. Although we were both raised in Christian homes, they were very, very different. I have been challenged to review some of my beliefs. There are some areas that I still don't have an answer to.

So... I believe what I do, but I don't force my beliefs on others. Just because someone's say... Jewish... doesn't mean that I wouldn't recognize their marriage or family or traditions or what-not. It is what it is. I think, generally speaking, that especially marriage & family are very personal things, and what you do is what you do, and I don't believe that it is my place to challenge anyone's marital or familial status. Period. I do believe that marriage is between husband and wife and God. Whether you acknowledge Him or not.

As far as wanting religion out of marriage versus wanting government out of marriage - the difference is that religion is as much a part of your life as you choose it to be. You choose your spiritual beliefs, and how much you will implement them into your life. Government? Not so much. Short of emigrating, there is little choice. Except what we have at the polls.

So after much thought, I think ultimately that's what the major difference is. Choice.

How is Polygamy / Bigamy Illegal?

Seriously. I can't figure this out.

I mean, I get trying to legally marry someone else when you're already married to your intial spouse. Sort of. But being legally married to one spouse, and then living with three other people and just deciding you want to call them your spouse... how is that illegal?
Sparked by this news story:
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/39418047/ns/today-entertainment/

I just don't get it.

In a relationship(s) that involve all consenting adults, no evidence of abuse (spousal or child)... how is that illegal?

Anyone?

But consensual relationships amongst adults being illegal? With no signs or evidence of abuse, force, or coersion?

I don't get it.

Sleep with whomever you want, have lots of kids with several different partners, don't support any of them... legal.

Sleep with a few others in committed relationships, have lots of kids with them, you all live together, and everyone's supported financially... illegal.

Anyone else struggling with this?

Actually reminds me of one of my older posts on gay marriage.

Becoming more & more in favor of less & less government.

Freedom of Religion

So... this whole mosque thing as me kinda riled up. Admittedly not really riled up, but kinda.

The more I think about it, the more those who oppose the mosque bother me. Again, I certainly have sympathies for the emotions surrounding this issue, but our country guarantees us the freedom of religion, and although this issue might just dance on the outskirts of that constitutional right, I feel strongly that to deny the building of this mosque (or Islamic community center, as the case may be), treads on the rights of our fellow American citizens.

And that is really starting to bother me.

Especially when I hear or read things opposing it from people I know are born-again Christians. Some of whom will squawk when they feel that their rights as Christians, their rights to worship as they please or to express their spiritual beliefs, are being stripped away in the name of political correctness.

Well, isn't this the same thing? At least sort of?

To deny the building of this mosque, strips away the rights of the Muslims who would worship there, in the name of being politically correct in "honoring" the memory of 9/11.

Taking away the rights of one group of people so as not to offend another group of people just is not right.

I want to say that again.

Taking away the rights of one group of people so as not to offend another group of people just is not right.

Building a Mosque Near Ground Zero

This topic has gotten quite a lot of press lately, and it seems that both camps seem to think that you are in one group or another. No gray areas allowed, of course.

Those who ardently support the mosque being built see it as a matter of freedom of religion / equality for all, and those that oppose them as being short-sighted racists.

Those who vehemently oppose the mosque being built see it as a matter of being a patriot, or not.

I don't think it's either. Or maybe it's both. Or maybe it's a little more gray than any of it.

Those who oppose the mosque being built, well, I think for one reason or another the emotions of 9/11 are still a little too raw to allow anything besides a memorial to go on what is seen as sacred ground. And the fact that the terrorists who committed such an act were Muslim, for them, adds insult to injury. They feel that to build a Islamic place of worship so close to where such an atrocity was committed by men who professed Islamic beliefs to be an insult, a slap in the face, rubbing salt in wounds that are still too fresh.
And sometimes it's not that the wounds are still to fresh for themselves, but that these opposers are so incredibly sympathetic to the survivors and their families, to the loved ones of victims lost, that they feel that to support the mosque would be tantemount to betraying those who still hurt.

And their feelings are more than valid.

Those who support the mosque being built near Ground Zero, tend to hold fast to the belief that our country should still be a place for freedom of religion, a place for equality for all, no matter what the religion, no matter what extremist zealots have claimed in the name of their god. They pride themselves in at least trying to promote equality for all, even if they aren't always successful.

And they are right and honorable in their beliefs and efforts.

Where do I stand? In the gray.

I absolutely support the right of any religious group to build a place of worship whereever they see fit. I see no reason for the city to prohibit the building of this mosque. In fact, I believe it would be wrong for it to be prohibited.
This does not mean that I am not sympathetic to those who oppose it. I am. I feel for them. I feel for the pain that they still feel. A part of me still hurts too. I'm not sure there's an American alive who lived thru that day, no matter where they were, who doesn't still feel at least a twinge of pain at the mention of 9/11. I understand where they are coming from.

But just because I understand, and am sympathetic, doesn't mean I agree.

From personal experience I know that the majority of Muslims are loving, peaceful people. Really no different from you or I.

And from my background in history, I know that a few Christian groups in the past (and present) have also been known to commit great atrocities in the name of our God. But I also know that the actions of a few do not represent the whole. Not even close.

Now... back to the mosque-building issue. Even though I support the building of a mosque near Ground Zero (or anywhere, really), what I do not support is that any place of worship be built in that area before St. Nicholas Church is rebuilt.

For those of you who do not know, St. Nicholas Church was destroyed on 9/11. It sat in the shadows of the World Trade Center, and was demolished under the weight of the collapsing buldings.

Efforts to rebuild St. Nicholas in that area have been delayed and blocked by red tape for the past nine years.
Yet somehow requests to build a mosque have been approved in significantly less time.

This. Bothers. Me.

And I wonder what the political motivations are behind it.

It. Really. Bothers. Me.

So, my opinion? Rebuild St. Nicholas first. Then, and only then, should other requests to build another place of worship in the area be considered. But not before.

Why I don't like the phrase "Happy Holidays"...

... or any other generic, all-inclusive greeting.

It's not that I don't want to be inclusive. It's that I want everyone to be able to celebrate their own holiday without someone else getting offended. Everyone.

As a Christian, yes, my holiday at this time of year would be Christmas, and so yes, I choose to greet others with "Merry Christmas".
If you choose to reply with "Happy Hannakuh", "Happy Kwanzaa", or even "Merry Festivus"... then so be it.

I am so tired of hearing how sharing a happy greeting, any happy greeting with someone is offensive.
I'm also tired of hearing non-Christians make comments like "I wonder how they would feel if the tables were turned.
Go ahead! Please do! Turn those tables! Greet me with the greeting of your holiday!

If I wish you a Merry Christmas, it's not because I'm trying to offend you, or because I'm trying to ignore your beliefs, or because I'm trying to convert you or anything. It's because Christmas is a big deal to me, and I want to share that with you, if even in some tiny minute way, by wishing you a Merry Christmas as well. I want you to share in the joyousness of what this season means to me. I want you to be as happy about what Christmas means as I am.

And if you want to share your holiday with me, in even a tiny way, then... Thank You! Thank you for caring enough to want to share something that is important to you, with little ole me!

I just really wish we would stop watering this stuff down, making everything so politically correct. Wouldn't it be a better world if instead of pretending like none of us have a specific holiday to celebrate, we all take joy in seeing each other celebrate whatever holiday we want? Without worry that we might be offending someone by doing so? I think it would be.

So... MERRY CHRISTMAS to each of you. I wish you & yours a very happy holiday season.

Different is not necessarily better or worse. It's just different.

The company I work for employees people from just about every diverse aspect you can think of. It's a melting pot of races, ethnicities, and cultures; genders and sexual orientation, religions and physical abilities. You name it, we probably got it.

And with very few exceptions, we all respect each other's differences. It's great.

Oddly enough, the biggest cultural intolerance I see here has nothing to do with race, creed, or gender - it's the cultural differences between different divisions within the same company, even here at the same location.

I have a hard time even describing it. But there are very clear cultural differences between each division. And everyone thinks their division is doing things the right way, and they look down on the others. At least this has been my experience. At times it's almost comical.

The thing that gets me, not only at work, but in the world in general, is why "different", has to be looked at as either better or worse. Why can't something, or someone, just be different, but have the same value?