Wow.
Surgical recovery and parenting and... wow, next thing you know I am WAY behind on keeping you guys updated.
I had gastric sleeve a few months ago, and things are going great! I am down roughly 70 lbs and feel wonderful. My energy us up, I just feel so much better, I can do more... I just can't tell you how great I feel. I feel stronger, more capable... in short, I feel like I'm getting back to my old self. And indeed weight-wise I am! I have already hit my first personal weight goal, which was to hit my pre-pregnancy weight... before my first child. That milestone has been met and I am currently less than 10 lbs from my next milestone, my wedding weight.
It's been a journey, and not without bumps. I had some pretty bad pain early on post-surgery, enough that there were concerns of there being a leak in the suture line in my stomach, but the pain eventually faded with no other signs of a leak, so that was good. Painful, but not like it could be. Eating, even drinking, was quite a struggle at first, and I was unable to get in the proper amount of liquids, and then later protein for quite a while. I just couldn't even force it down, it was so difficult, uncomfortable, and even painful any time I drank or ate.
I still get uncomfortable at times, but for the most part the act of eating is back to normal. I had my 3-month follow up the other day, and while I did get scolded for still not getting enough water and not taking my multi-vitamins, the nutritionist said that my progress has been so great that she can't really yell at me. Ha!
One thing that has amazed me is that the surgery really seems to be working. I know, it's ridiculous. That's why I had it to begin with. But I think so many other things in my life had failed, the idea that this is working just blows my mind.
I had several doctors independently recommend the procedure for several reasons, one of those doctors being my ob/gyn. I've had issues with my cycles since having Jillian and he suggested that the changes in hormones that occur as a result of the surgery may solve those problems. Guess what? He was right! My periods are still irregular, even on hormonal birth control, but PMDD is pretty much gone, no more menstrual migraines, my periods are lighter and my cramps are almost non-existent. I went from having periods that were debilitating at times to "normal" periods within one cycle of having the surgery, before any significant weight loss. It blows my mind.
The main reason for me to have the procedure was to solve various endocrine issues (my endocrinologist was actually the first one to recommend it), with the weight loss being a happy side result, not only of the procedure, but of getting my endocrine issues resolved. And it actually seems to be working, which just seriously blows my mind that something is actually working. I'm amazed.
That's about it for now. If you're interested in my past updates, maybe you're considering having the surgery, or have had it and want to connect, I have some more frequent surgery & recovery updates on my YouTube channel, as well as just some fun videos from our life, so check that out.
I'm glad to be back on here, and thanks for checking in!
Showing posts with label baby weight. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby weight. Show all posts
Saturday, June 3, 2017
Monday, April 8, 2013
Working Women, Appearance, and Discrimination
This morning as I dressed for work, I selected a work-issued polo shirt, khaki pants, and my steel-toed shoes. I may work in an office, but it's in a Lab, and steel-toes are acceptable work attire.
Nothing unusual about my outfit, but for some reason it led me to recall a day several years ago, when I was wearing a similar outfit, and was pulled aside by my then supervisor, and told that I needed to "work on my appearance".
I was a bit taken aback. Other than the weight I had gained post-pregnancy, my appearance had not changed. I was well within our employee dress code, and dressed similar to the rest of the (male) team members in the office.
The truth is, I felt discriminated against. Nothing in my job requires me to "dress up" or "look good". I do not interact with the public or customers. I sit in my desk in the corner, and do my work. I was dressed well within our corporate policy. My then-long hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. I wasn't wearing makeup, but well, I don't. Never have.
So what changed? After all these years, why was I being told to work on my appearance?
See, I couldn't decide if I felt like I was being discriminated against because I was a woman, or because I'd gotten fat. Maybe both.
But that wasn't the most disturbing part to me.
The most disturbing part was when I took the issue to a working moms message board to ask for advice. And there, among other working women, I was chastised.
It was my fault, they said. As a working woman, I should know that I have to present myself better than the men around me, and should have already done so. I should know how important appearance is in the working world, and should just follow my boss's direction.
Don't I know that a polo and khakis just look better on a man, and even if it's within dress code, I shouldn't wear it, because it just tends to look sloppier on women then on men?
I should dress up, slacks & heels, if not an actual business suit, and fix my hair & wear makeup every day. This is what I need to do to be respected in the work place. It's just how it is.
I still have not forgotten their comments. The feeling of being chastised by the people you went to for support.
I'm not going to argue the world isn't that way, that - particularly in male dominated workplaces, like mine - it's harder for women. Because it is I see it regularly. It is more difficult to get recognition & respect for the work you do. You do have to work harder, and yes, maybe it would help me get noticed if I put on some heels more often than I do.
But I still can't get over it. I can't get over the idea that women - professional, career women - have just accepted this as fact, and instead of standing up and saying "no, this isn't fair, you have to treat me the same as a man dressed the same way", they just give in and slap on some lipstick so they can play the game.
I can't get over other women saying it was okay for me to be told that even though I am dressed well within dress code, dressed similarly to the men in the office, that yes, it was okay for my male boss to tell me to work on my appearance.
I can't get over them chastising me for not knowing that it was okay for me to be treated differently in the workplace based on my appearance and/or gender.
I still can't figure out why they think women in polo & khakis look "sloppy" compared to men in the same outfit. Is it the curves that bother you? Do breasts ruin the clean line you see on men? Do full hips and buttocks not fit in with what you see as professional?
Isn't that your problem, not mine?
I have forgiven the male boss I had at the time. I never did change my appearance, and he apparently got over it. I've never heard a word since, from him or anyone else at my workplace.
But the words of those women haunt me. Women so accustomed to being discriminated against based on their looks and their gender, that it has become the norm to them, a rule that other women should be chastised for breaking.
This is 2013. And I find it ridiculous that a group of professional women have not only accepted, but are perpetuating the idea that it is okay to judge someone in the workplace based on their appearance and / or gender, instead of judging them based on their actual work, on their output. What are we doing to each other? Why are we supporting the idea that this is okay?
I just don't get it, and probably never will.
Nothing unusual about my outfit, but for some reason it led me to recall a day several years ago, when I was wearing a similar outfit, and was pulled aside by my then supervisor, and told that I needed to "work on my appearance".
I was a bit taken aback. Other than the weight I had gained post-pregnancy, my appearance had not changed. I was well within our employee dress code, and dressed similar to the rest of the (male) team members in the office.
The truth is, I felt discriminated against. Nothing in my job requires me to "dress up" or "look good". I do not interact with the public or customers. I sit in my desk in the corner, and do my work. I was dressed well within our corporate policy. My then-long hair was pulled back into a low ponytail. I wasn't wearing makeup, but well, I don't. Never have.
So what changed? After all these years, why was I being told to work on my appearance?
See, I couldn't decide if I felt like I was being discriminated against because I was a woman, or because I'd gotten fat. Maybe both.
But that wasn't the most disturbing part to me.
The most disturbing part was when I took the issue to a working moms message board to ask for advice. And there, among other working women, I was chastised.
It was my fault, they said. As a working woman, I should know that I have to present myself better than the men around me, and should have already done so. I should know how important appearance is in the working world, and should just follow my boss's direction.
Don't I know that a polo and khakis just look better on a man, and even if it's within dress code, I shouldn't wear it, because it just tends to look sloppier on women then on men?
I should dress up, slacks & heels, if not an actual business suit, and fix my hair & wear makeup every day. This is what I need to do to be respected in the work place. It's just how it is.
I still have not forgotten their comments. The feeling of being chastised by the people you went to for support.
I'm not going to argue the world isn't that way, that - particularly in male dominated workplaces, like mine - it's harder for women. Because it is I see it regularly. It is more difficult to get recognition & respect for the work you do. You do have to work harder, and yes, maybe it would help me get noticed if I put on some heels more often than I do.
But I still can't get over it. I can't get over the idea that women - professional, career women - have just accepted this as fact, and instead of standing up and saying "no, this isn't fair, you have to treat me the same as a man dressed the same way", they just give in and slap on some lipstick so they can play the game.
I can't get over other women saying it was okay for me to be told that even though I am dressed well within dress code, dressed similarly to the men in the office, that yes, it was okay for my male boss to tell me to work on my appearance.
I can't get over them chastising me for not knowing that it was okay for me to be treated differently in the workplace based on my appearance and/or gender.
I still can't figure out why they think women in polo & khakis look "sloppy" compared to men in the same outfit. Is it the curves that bother you? Do breasts ruin the clean line you see on men? Do full hips and buttocks not fit in with what you see as professional?
Isn't that your problem, not mine?
I have forgiven the male boss I had at the time. I never did change my appearance, and he apparently got over it. I've never heard a word since, from him or anyone else at my workplace.
But the words of those women haunt me. Women so accustomed to being discriminated against based on their looks and their gender, that it has become the norm to them, a rule that other women should be chastised for breaking.
This is 2013. And I find it ridiculous that a group of professional women have not only accepted, but are perpetuating the idea that it is okay to judge someone in the workplace based on their appearance and / or gender, instead of judging them based on their actual work, on their output. What are we doing to each other? Why are we supporting the idea that this is okay?
I just don't get it, and probably never will.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
My Fat Butt
Well, it's been a while since I've done an update, hasn't it?
In my last update, I told you how I was below my pre-pregnancy weight. The weight loss has slowed, as expected, but I am happy to report that I am now at my next milestone, my wedding weight.
That... is exciting. To me, at least.
Part of me is totally tempted to rip into the storage preservation box and try on my wedding dress. But the larger part of me knows that it won't fit. I may weigh the same, but my shape is definitely different.
I've told you before about the extra skin I have around my belly from my pregnancy. It's still there. Probably will be
I'm also fairly certain that my breasts are bigger than they were when I got married. No complaints about that one.
Just that those two things mean that I am 99% sure that there's no way my wedding dress would fit.
But still. I'm at my wedding weight. A grand total of 51 lbs lost.
Mostly I've settled in to just watching my portions. I do try to eat more fruits & veggies, but quite frankly I don't find it that pleasant, so I still need to work on that.
And while I usually drink water anyway, lately I've made an effort to cut out caffeine when I do drink other beverages. Not a weight thing, per se. Just a health thing.
One thing I've noticed is that my tastes have changed. Not sure if this is because of the chemical changes in my body brought about by the drug therapy, or because of the changes I'd made to my diet, or maybe a combination of both.
Mostly, I can no longer tolerate as sweet of foods / drinks as I used to. I got a Mt. Dew a few weeks back, just because, remembering how much I used to love it, and about gagged on the sugary-ness of it. And even chocolate - I can't take too much chocolate without a glass of milk to balance out the sweetness. Oh, and cotton candy! We went to a festival and got cotton candy to share between the three of us. I needed a glass of water so badly!
In the past - and the not too distant past at that - I would have eaten the cotton candy with the Mt. Dew! Ha!
So that's about it for now. I'll keep you posted if there are any major developments or I meet another milestone.
As always, thanks for checking in!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
My Fat Butt
Well, I had my checkup last week.
My doctor is very happy with my progress. A little too happy for my taste.
I was down another 10 lbs, for a total of 38 lbs since November.
I was below my pre-pregnancy weight (by 1 lb, but still) for the first time in over three years.
He's so freakin' pleased with my progress that he wants me to go one more month on the aggressive drug therapy, and then stop everything but the maintenance medication, that will regulate my insulin (hopefully) forever and ever.
I'll go back in two months instead of one, giving me one month on the meds, and one month off, so he can see how I'm doing.
Assuming everything is going well, my next appointment after that won't be for several months (3 or 6, I don't remember), and I'll do bloodwork before that one, to see how my levels are maintaining.
I know, I should be happy, right?
My doctor is very happy with my progress. A little too happy for my taste.
I was down another 10 lbs, for a total of 38 lbs since November.
I was below my pre-pregnancy weight (by 1 lb, but still) for the first time in over three years.
He's so freakin' pleased with my progress that he wants me to go one more month on the aggressive drug therapy, and then stop everything but the maintenance medication, that will regulate my insulin (hopefully) forever and ever.
I'll go back in two months instead of one, giving me one month on the meds, and one month off, so he can see how I'm doing.
Assuming everything is going well, my next appointment after that won't be for several months (3 or 6, I don't remember), and I'll do bloodwork before that one, to see how my levels are maintaining.
I know, I should be happy, right?
The drug therapy worked fabulously well, he said I did more than my part, because he still maintains that I lost about double the amount of weight that most of his patients do, which is why he's so confident that I will do well once we stop the therapy.
And I am happy. I'm happy with how the meds worked, as I was tremendously skeptical when we started. I was hopeful, sure, but I really didn't think I'd see this great of results, and if I did I definitely didn't think I'd see results this quickly.
And I'm proud. Because I have worked to modify my eating habits along with taking my meds, and the proof that I'm doing so is not only in my weight loss, but in my blood work as well.
But I'm scared.
I don't feel ready to have the safety net taken away from me just yet. I'm scared to do this on my own, without the meds, without the doctor monitoring me.
Oh sure, he said if my bloodwork in a few months showed problems, or if my weight suddenly spiked, or if I noticed some of the physical markers (bloated face, upper abdomen, etc) that I had before I can come back in and we can maybe go back on.
But then that, I think, would feel like a failure, you know?
So... I'm just scared. Anxious to do this on my own.
I'm hoping to continue losing weight, even off the aggressive meds. He told me way back when that once my insulin got regulated I should be able to lose weight "like a normal person", so... I'm hopeful. Still skeptical (sorry, but a long history of difficulty isn't going away overnight), but hopeful.
As of my appointment last week I had reached my first goal: my pre-pregnancy weight.
I have 13 more lbs to my next goal: my wedding weight.
See, even though we started "trying" shortly after getting married, when I went off birth control, I put on 14 lbs in six weeks. My OB had assured me it was hormone fluctuations and would go away on its own in another 6 - 8 weeks, but... when you get pregnant on your 2nd cycle trying...
And I am happy. I'm happy with how the meds worked, as I was tremendously skeptical when we started. I was hopeful, sure, but I really didn't think I'd see this great of results, and if I did I definitely didn't think I'd see results this quickly.
And I'm proud. Because I have worked to modify my eating habits along with taking my meds, and the proof that I'm doing so is not only in my weight loss, but in my blood work as well.
But I'm scared.
I don't feel ready to have the safety net taken away from me just yet. I'm scared to do this on my own, without the meds, without the doctor monitoring me.
Oh sure, he said if my bloodwork in a few months showed problems, or if my weight suddenly spiked, or if I noticed some of the physical markers (bloated face, upper abdomen, etc) that I had before I can come back in and we can maybe go back on.
But then that, I think, would feel like a failure, you know?
So... I'm just scared. Anxious to do this on my own.
I'm hoping to continue losing weight, even off the aggressive meds. He told me way back when that once my insulin got regulated I should be able to lose weight "like a normal person", so... I'm hopeful. Still skeptical (sorry, but a long history of difficulty isn't going away overnight), but hopeful.
As of my appointment last week I had reached my first goal: my pre-pregnancy weight.
I have 13 more lbs to my next goal: my wedding weight.
See, even though we started "trying" shortly after getting married, when I went off birth control, I put on 14 lbs in six weeks. My OB had assured me it was hormone fluctuations and would go away on its own in another 6 - 8 weeks, but... when you get pregnant on your 2nd cycle trying...
So, 13 lbs to my wedding weight. I have another couple of goals past that. But that one... that would be HUGE. No pun intended.
Thanks for checking in! And please keep me in your thoughts as I tackle this "on my own"!
Thanks for checking in! And please keep me in your thoughts as I tackle this "on my own"!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
My Fat Butt
So, if you remember my original Fat Butt post, you remember that we finally figured out that I have an insulin disorder, and started medication.
Well, 10 days after starting the medication and seven days of calorie restriction, and... I'm down NINE pounds! Already!
No, really! I'm not lying! No! I'm not! I know! It's crazy! NINE pounds! In only TEN days!
Now, no, I don't think I lost nine pounds of fat in ten days. Nor do I expect to keep up this rate of weight loss.
One thing I forgot to put in my original post is that my endocrinologist said that one of the outward signs of this insulin disoder is a puffy face, neck, and upper abdomen - all caused by major water retention. He said that as the insulin began to get regulated, this would go away.
By day five, I looked in the mirror and I realized my face looked skinnier (ie. no more puffy face).
me, seven months pregnant with FireGirl - told you it was gigantic
And day ten, I stepped on the scale and was down nine whole pounds.
I'm excited. Not just because I've finally managed to lose some poundage, even if it is water weight, but because I'm taking this as a sign that my doctor is right, we are on the right track, and that this course of treatment will get things going in the right direction for me. That, to me anyway, is very exciting.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Gym Today = Success !!
I almost didn't go. FireGirl has not been doing well in their child care, at all. If we put her in there, we usually get paged after about 10-15 min to come get her because she's in hysterics. So the past few weeks we actually haven't gone to the gym unless we have someone to watch her.
But I really want to get back into the swing of going more frequently. FireMan is working, but I wanted to give it a shot.
I dropped her off in child care, and she was crying, but not screaming, so... I left.
I intentionally kept my workout short. Ten minutes on the stationary bike, followed by one lap around the track, and fifteen reps on the shoulder press machine.
I went to pick up FireGirl... and... she was playing happily! I couldn't believe it!
I'm hopeful that this is a sign of a turn-around in this area.
And... according to their scale I've lost two more pounds! I really couldn't believe it. I actually didn't go to my Weight Watchers weigh-in this week because I have done so horribly this past week. Aunt Flo was in town, and I was a little stressed. Last Monday I consumed more chocolate in one day than I probably usually do in two weeks. Plus my back was really bothering me so we skipped our trainer session and I've taken it easy most of the week.
And I still lost two pounds!
I'm becoming more & more convinced that a lot of my weight gain & difficulty losing weight really has been due, at least in part, to my being on Lexapro. And I'm still on it, just not nearly as high a dose as I was before.
In a way it frustrates me, because I feel like I was helpless to change my weight, and because my weight gain has caused me so much stress, and here it might not even really be my fault.
But in another way it relieves me, because it means that I really didn't eat myself into oblivion. I mean, I definitely can improve my eating & activity, but who can't, right? It kinda lifts a weight off of my shoulders (pardon the pun) and give me comfort that once my PPD is under control, and I get off the meds completely, that my weight actually might come off, at least most of it. Maybe.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I had reached a point where I was really frustrated with my weight and I felt like it didn't matter what I did I was just always gonna be fat, so why not eat whatever, but now I feel hopeful that now that I'm weaning off the meds I'm starting to see results and maybe it's not a hopeless situation afterall. Maybe I'll reach my pre-baby weight eventually.
But I really want to get back into the swing of going more frequently. FireMan is working, but I wanted to give it a shot.
I dropped her off in child care, and she was crying, but not screaming, so... I left.
I intentionally kept my workout short. Ten minutes on the stationary bike, followed by one lap around the track, and fifteen reps on the shoulder press machine.
I went to pick up FireGirl... and... she was playing happily! I couldn't believe it!
I'm hopeful that this is a sign of a turn-around in this area.
And... according to their scale I've lost two more pounds! I really couldn't believe it. I actually didn't go to my Weight Watchers weigh-in this week because I have done so horribly this past week. Aunt Flo was in town, and I was a little stressed. Last Monday I consumed more chocolate in one day than I probably usually do in two weeks. Plus my back was really bothering me so we skipped our trainer session and I've taken it easy most of the week.
And I still lost two pounds!
I'm becoming more & more convinced that a lot of my weight gain & difficulty losing weight really has been due, at least in part, to my being on Lexapro. And I'm still on it, just not nearly as high a dose as I was before.
In a way it frustrates me, because I feel like I was helpless to change my weight, and because my weight gain has caused me so much stress, and here it might not even really be my fault.
But in another way it relieves me, because it means that I really didn't eat myself into oblivion. I mean, I definitely can improve my eating & activity, but who can't, right? It kinda lifts a weight off of my shoulders (pardon the pun) and give me comfort that once my PPD is under control, and I get off the meds completely, that my weight actually might come off, at least most of it. Maybe.
I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I had reached a point where I was really frustrated with my weight and I felt like it didn't matter what I did I was just always gonna be fat, so why not eat whatever, but now I feel hopeful that now that I'm weaning off the meds I'm starting to see results and maybe it's not a hopeless situation afterall. Maybe I'll reach my pre-baby weight eventually.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Results
Yesterday I weighed in at Weight Watchers. I'm down a total of 3.6 lbs in four weeks! Yay!
Now, I'm not gonna lie. I have not been nearly as good about tracking my points as I really should be. Not nearly. In fact, when I weigh in and the number goes down, I'm a little surprised. I felt like I was doing "better" when I was trying to follow my trainer's eating plan.
But then it dawned on me yesterday. I've been weaning off of the Lexapro. Finally. So far, so good. I've only taken two pills in two weeks. And then I realized. I started weaning off of it right about the same time I started WW.
So, has my weight loss been because of WW? or because I'm weaning off of a med that has been known to cause unexplained weight gain & difficulty losing weight?
Well... I think it's a combination of both. My theory is that now that I'm weaning off of the meds, my body is able to react to my efforts the way that it should, and so is finally, slowly, beginning to drop the weight.
Slowly can be frustrating, but I remind myself that the last time I lost a significant amount of weight I averaged only 1/2 a pound a week. But I kept the majority of the weight off until I got pregnant. I'd rather take longer to lose it, and keep it off, than lose it all in a couple of months then put it right back on.
On a semi-related note, I'm starting to see results with my workouts as well. My trainer still kicks my butt, but... I'm able to use bigger weights than before. When I first started, I never used more than 15 lb weights. Last night the lightest one I used was 20 lbs.
Improvements. Results.
Feels good.
Now, I'm not gonna lie. I have not been nearly as good about tracking my points as I really should be. Not nearly. In fact, when I weigh in and the number goes down, I'm a little surprised. I felt like I was doing "better" when I was trying to follow my trainer's eating plan.
But then it dawned on me yesterday. I've been weaning off of the Lexapro. Finally. So far, so good. I've only taken two pills in two weeks. And then I realized. I started weaning off of it right about the same time I started WW.
So, has my weight loss been because of WW? or because I'm weaning off of a med that has been known to cause unexplained weight gain & difficulty losing weight?
Well... I think it's a combination of both. My theory is that now that I'm weaning off of the meds, my body is able to react to my efforts the way that it should, and so is finally, slowly, beginning to drop the weight.
Slowly can be frustrating, but I remind myself that the last time I lost a significant amount of weight I averaged only 1/2 a pound a week. But I kept the majority of the weight off until I got pregnant. I'd rather take longer to lose it, and keep it off, than lose it all in a couple of months then put it right back on.
On a semi-related note, I'm starting to see results with my workouts as well. My trainer still kicks my butt, but... I'm able to use bigger weights than before. When I first started, I never used more than 15 lb weights. Last night the lightest one I used was 20 lbs.
Improvements. Results.
Feels good.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wearing an Old Shirt Today
As in, a pre-pregnancy sized shirt.
It makes me feel good.
Now, don't be fooled. I haven't actually lost any weight. In fact, due to the arrival of my monthly friend, I'm up my usual 4 lbs of water weight. Nice.
And, I have to admit that the shirt is kinda stretchy.
But still. I'm in it. It's comfortable. And it looks fine.
This makes me feel good.
On a semi-related note, I've decided to give the treadmill another try. Yes, I know my back gave out on my last time, but that also corresponded to FireGirl's latest growth spurt, so there's a chance it had nothing to do with the treadmill.
I have to walk that fine line between getting some activity, and taking care of my back, but I think I'm safe to try it again. I'll just take it slow, and we'll see how it goes.
Also, FireMan & I are already looking for some deals on bikes for the springtime, so hopefully we'll actually find some time to go riding this year.
So far, no luck with free swimming though. Booo!
It makes me feel good.
Now, don't be fooled. I haven't actually lost any weight. In fact, due to the arrival of my monthly friend, I'm up my usual 4 lbs of water weight. Nice.
And, I have to admit that the shirt is kinda stretchy.
But still. I'm in it. It's comfortable. And it looks fine.
This makes me feel good.
On a semi-related note, I've decided to give the treadmill another try. Yes, I know my back gave out on my last time, but that also corresponded to FireGirl's latest growth spurt, so there's a chance it had nothing to do with the treadmill.
I have to walk that fine line between getting some activity, and taking care of my back, but I think I'm safe to try it again. I'll just take it slow, and we'll see how it goes.
Also, FireMan & I are already looking for some deals on bikes for the springtime, so hopefully we'll actually find some time to go riding this year.
So far, no luck with free swimming though. Booo!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Weeded Out Some Clothes Last Night
I've been putting this off. Weeding thru my pre-pregnancy clothing. But it needed to be done.
We don't have much closet space in our home, so for the past nearly two years (!!) my wearable work clothes have been hanging on a doorknob. First, it was my maternity clothing. Then, it was my post-pregnancy-sized clothing. It was time I accepted my new body.
I didn't get thru all of my clothing, just what was hanging in my closet. I reminisced. I got aggravated. I got regretful.
I reminisced about times that I wore certain outfits. Like the shirt I was wearing when I met DH. Like a blouse that wore at one of my bridal showers.
I got aggravated that I couldn't wear them anymore. I got aggravated at myself that I still haven't lost my baby weight.
I got regretful. I regret not doing more to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I regret not taking better care of myself.
I didn't get rid of everything. In fact, I got rid of far fewer items than I had anticipated. Cheapskate that I am, I worry that when I do finally lose the weight, if I get rid of all of my old clothes, then I'll have to spend $$ on a new wardrobe. I'm too cheap to do that.
My original plan was to keep a few favorite outfits, and get rid of the rest. Out with the old, in with the new.
What ended up happening is that I realized that I liked a lot of those clothes. So I got rid of anything that I wasn't thrilled about, anything that maybe didn't fit exactly right before anyway.
And now I'm back watching what I eat. Back on FitDay tracking my weight & calories. Not thrilled about it, but I feel more.... resolved this time. I feel more ready. And I've accepted in my head that it might take me a long time to lose it all. But the words of my previous family doctor ring in my ears: "the slower you lose the weight, the more likely you are to keep it off". Generally speaking, of course. But still. The last time I had a significant amount of weight to lose, it took me 18 months to lose 40 pounds. But I kept the vast majority of it off until I got pregnant. Some ups & downs, but most of it stayed off for years. So... let's do this.
We don't have much closet space in our home, so for the past nearly two years (!!) my wearable work clothes have been hanging on a doorknob. First, it was my maternity clothing. Then, it was my post-pregnancy-sized clothing. It was time I accepted my new body.
I didn't get thru all of my clothing, just what was hanging in my closet. I reminisced. I got aggravated. I got regretful.
I reminisced about times that I wore certain outfits. Like the shirt I was wearing when I met DH. Like a blouse that wore at one of my bridal showers.
I got aggravated that I couldn't wear them anymore. I got aggravated at myself that I still haven't lost my baby weight.
I got regretful. I regret not doing more to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I regret not taking better care of myself.
I didn't get rid of everything. In fact, I got rid of far fewer items than I had anticipated. Cheapskate that I am, I worry that when I do finally lose the weight, if I get rid of all of my old clothes, then I'll have to spend $$ on a new wardrobe. I'm too cheap to do that.
My original plan was to keep a few favorite outfits, and get rid of the rest. Out with the old, in with the new.
What ended up happening is that I realized that I liked a lot of those clothes. So I got rid of anything that I wasn't thrilled about, anything that maybe didn't fit exactly right before anyway.
And now I'm back watching what I eat. Back on FitDay tracking my weight & calories. Not thrilled about it, but I feel more.... resolved this time. I feel more ready. And I've accepted in my head that it might take me a long time to lose it all. But the words of my previous family doctor ring in my ears: "the slower you lose the weight, the more likely you are to keep it off". Generally speaking, of course. But still. The last time I had a significant amount of weight to lose, it took me 18 months to lose 40 pounds. But I kept the vast majority of it off until I got pregnant. Some ups & downs, but most of it stayed off for years. So... let's do this.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Time to be Honest with Myself
So here goes.
I have gained FIFTY pounds.
There. I said it. It's in writing. It's on the net for all to see. Fifty. That number seems huge. And indeed it is. I'm carrying around the equivalent weight of 10 bags of flour. That's a lot. That's really heavy.
So, I know weight has dominated a few of my posts lately, and that's because it's been dominating my thoughts.
Oh, I didn't gain it all at once. It's not even all baby weight. So how did all that FAT creep onto my body, you ask? Several ways.
#1 - from early 2006 to late 2007 I gradually put on about 20 lbs. Gain five, lose three. Gain five more, lose three more. Etc. Eventually those net gains of two pounds here & there added up to right about 20 lbs altogether.
#2 - when FireMan & I decided to start trying to conceive, I stopped my birth control, and gained 13 lbs in about six weeks.
#3 - I gained 49 lbs throughout my pregnancy. I have since lost 30-35 lbs of it (it fluctuates), but that leaves me with a net gain of about 17 lbs.
Add those up, my friends, and it means I have gained FIFTY pounds in three years.
So what, do you ask, do I plan to do about it? Well, I'll tell you.
I have decided to have a Winter Weight Loss Challenge.
The wintertime is when most people tend to gain the most weight, right? Well, not this year. From Oct 1 thru Mar 31 I will try to lose the 50 lbs. I'm even gonna start another blog so ya'll can track my progress. Or join in the fun.
I'd like to have others join me with their own weight maintenance goals so we can check in with each other, share tips, etc. But even if no one else joins my Winter Weight Loss Challenge, I'll be there. Plugging along.
And if I don't lose the entire 50 lbs? Well, that's okay too. Now, I'm not saying I won't be discouraged. But I know I'll have made the effort, and I will be healthier at the end of it.
So there you have it folks. Can't back out once I publicize it, right? So there it is.
I have gained FIFTY pounds.
There. I said it. It's in writing. It's on the net for all to see. Fifty. That number seems huge. And indeed it is. I'm carrying around the equivalent weight of 10 bags of flour. That's a lot. That's really heavy.
So, I know weight has dominated a few of my posts lately, and that's because it's been dominating my thoughts.
Oh, I didn't gain it all at once. It's not even all baby weight. So how did all that FAT creep onto my body, you ask? Several ways.
#1 - from early 2006 to late 2007 I gradually put on about 20 lbs. Gain five, lose three. Gain five more, lose three more. Etc. Eventually those net gains of two pounds here & there added up to right about 20 lbs altogether.
#2 - when FireMan & I decided to start trying to conceive, I stopped my birth control, and gained 13 lbs in about six weeks.
#3 - I gained 49 lbs throughout my pregnancy. I have since lost 30-35 lbs of it (it fluctuates), but that leaves me with a net gain of about 17 lbs.
Add those up, my friends, and it means I have gained FIFTY pounds in three years.
So what, do you ask, do I plan to do about it? Well, I'll tell you.
I have decided to have a Winter Weight Loss Challenge.
The wintertime is when most people tend to gain the most weight, right? Well, not this year. From Oct 1 thru Mar 31 I will try to lose the 50 lbs. I'm even gonna start another blog so ya'll can track my progress. Or join in the fun.
I'd like to have others join me with their own weight maintenance goals so we can check in with each other, share tips, etc. But even if no one else joins my Winter Weight Loss Challenge, I'll be there. Plugging along.
And if I don't lose the entire 50 lbs? Well, that's okay too. Now, I'm not saying I won't be discouraged. But I know I'll have made the effort, and I will be healthier at the end of it.
So there you have it folks. Can't back out once I publicize it, right? So there it is.
Friday, August 28, 2009
How do you motivate yourself ??
Specifically, I need to lose weight. I even want to lose weight. But for some reason I am just not motivated to do what I need to do to lose it.
It's not bad enough that I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. It's not bad enough that I hate my new body shape. I'm still not motivated.
I'd like to be motivated. I'd like to be motivated to be more active & eat better. But man! That burrito I had last night was yummy. As was the cookies-n-cream shake from Chik-fil-a. Mmmm....
I don't know. I need to do something, but I just can't seem to get my butt in gear.
{sigh}
It's not bad enough that I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. It's not bad enough that I hate my new body shape. I'm still not motivated.
I'd like to be motivated. I'd like to be motivated to be more active & eat better. But man! That burrito I had last night was yummy. As was the cookies-n-cream shake from Chik-fil-a. Mmmm....
I don't know. I need to do something, but I just can't seem to get my butt in gear.
{sigh}
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Starting P90x Monday!
I am soooo nervous!
I'm so ready to lose the rest of this baby weight, and to get in shape, but I am so nervous! Mostly because I've heard it's a heck of a workout and I'm a-skeered!
But I've heard really good things about the program, so I'm confident that if I stick with it, it'll work.
Wish me luck! and I'll keep you posted on my progress!
I'm so ready to lose the rest of this baby weight, and to get in shape, but I am so nervous! Mostly because I've heard it's a heck of a workout and I'm a-skeered!
But I've heard really good things about the program, so I'm confident that if I stick with it, it'll work.
Wish me luck! and I'll keep you posted on my progress!
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