It's 5:15pm and I am so ready for the workday to be over. It's been one of those days. Stress at every turn, difficult coworkers, menial work that feels overwhelming because of the stresses of the workplace. I'm tired, frustrated, and about to go over the edge. But at least it's 5:15pm.
I am unbelievably ready to wrap up what I'm working on, walk out the door, get in the car and drive. Sure, wherever I go will have its own responsibilities with different people to deal with, but with any luck maybe those people will be in a good mood and tonight will end on a relaxing note.
But I can't walk out the door. Because I don't work outside the home anymore. I stay home and homeschool our children. So at 5:15pm, even though I've already been fully on the job for 10 hours, I have at least four more to go, and that's if the kids actually go to bed on time and stay there. More often than not with my three year old lately I'll be looking at another six hours, minimum.
No drive by myself, listening to music to help me unwind. No change of scenery. No heading out to see if the next group of people in my life will be in a better mood. Nope. This is it.
It's been a rough day. Meltdowns, tantrums, tears, yelling, frustration, blatant disobedience and disrespect. All day.
I'm not saying there weren't good moments, because there were. But interspersed throughout the day, all day, many, many times were these moments, these difficult moments. These stressful, frustrating moments. I have yelled more times than I care to admit. It was a hard day.
But I can't pack up my desk and leave, and hope things will be better at home. This is my home, and my workplace. So I have a choice to make.
I can choose to focus on the negative, be a pessimist, and let it bring me down, which will continue to spiral my daughters' adverse behavior, or I can choose to try to see the positive in the day, be an optimist, force a smile on my face, and try to pick my girls up and make their day better. I'm the leader here. It's up to me to at least try to turn things around.
So I gather the supplies for a craft, get everything set up, tell the girls we'll do a craft. They're excited. They love crafts. This will be fun.
After reminding Jena that she needs to follow instructions or the craft won't turn out right, she yells at me that I'm ruining her art by making her follow directions and breaks down in tears because I "ruined" her project.
We take a break, but eventually finish. But no ones very excited about the craft anymore. And I'm starting to wonder why I bother.
Now it's time for dinner. I decide to make a new recipe, but one that is simple and kinda fun and I'm absolutely sure both girls will like. Jena refuses to admit that it's good, instead telling me everything that's wrong with it. But she takes a second helping. And a third.
Sometimes you can't help another person's bad mood. You can try. And especially for the ones you love, and the ones you're living with, you should. But ultimately it is all up to them. They have to decide to look at the bright side for themselves.
Dinner is over. The run baths for each girl in turn. They get into their pajamas, brush their teeth, get into bed.
It is now 11:45pm. Jillian is still awake. She just called me into her room a few minutes ago. The fourth time she's been out of bed, that I know of.
When you're a mom there is no end to your work day. Even when the kids aren't directly demanding my attention, I'm tending to housework, or school planning, or cooking, or pet care, or, or, or... The list goes on and on. And it doesn't matter if you work outside the home or stay home. The only difference is when you work outside the home you get a change of scenery, a break from one set of responsibilities, even if it is quickly replaced with another set.
I've done both. I was a mom who worked outside the home for six years, and now I've been a stay at home / homschooling mom for three years. They are equally demanding, equally stressful, just in different ways. I'm not going to lie, there are days when I think back longingly on my days as a working mom. Days when I have to remind myself how many years I spent wanting this, praying for the opportunity to stay home with my family. Days when I have to remind myself of the stresses of working outside the home. Today was definitely one of those days.
The truth is I miss working outside the home more than I ever thought I would. And while I was never one of those people who thought being a SAHM was an easy job, I definitely underestimated how difficult it can be at times. And then I decided to add homeschooling to the mix, LOL. I had no idea what I was in for! Despite all that, I remain convinced that for our family, at this moment in time, me staying home and homeschooling our children is the absolute best choice for us. I have to remind myself of that at times like today, but it is the truth.
So here's to all you working moms, wherever you call your "office". Keep your focus on what's best for your family, on why you do what you do, and keep on pushing through those hard days. There's a good day right around the corner. Promise.
As always, thanks for checking in.
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Showing posts with label home. Show all posts
Saturday, August 5, 2017
Wednesday, June 14, 2017
Letting People In
One of my friends kinda invited herself to my house for a play date. Not in a rude way, more of a miscommunication (I assumed we were meeting at a park, she assumed they were coming over). And I should clarify that although I do consider her a friend, we're not especially close, haven't spent a lot of time together, chatting, or what not. So not a close friend by any means.
I figured this out at 10:30pm the night before when she asked what time she should be over.
Instead of back-pedaling, backing out of it, explaining the miscommunication... I agreed.
I figured this out at 10:30pm the night before when she asked what time she should be over.
Instead of back-pedaling, backing out of it, explaining the miscommunication... I agreed.
I might be insane.
My house was a disaster. And not like in the way that people say when it's a little bit untidy but they want to be polite or whatever. Like a serious messy, messy did-a-tornado-hit-here? disaster. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to see my house. Actually, the last thing I wanted was to spend hours cleaning our house only to realize that it still isn't even close to "company ready", even though company is coming, ready or not.
But our pastor routinely says things about how if you keep shutting people out of your life & your home because you're afraid of being rejected based on your flaws, then you are missing out on real, authentic relationships. So I agreed instead of backing out, and I let her and her kids in.
And it was awesome. If she judged me, she didn't show it. You see, I always kind of assume that when people see my messy house they either judge me, or are relieved (you know who you are, LOL). Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe a lot of people just don't care that much either way, but that's what I envision: either judgement or relief.
So we don't have people over a lot. Hardly every really. But maybe we should. Because it was great. The kids played together well, she and I got to chat almost the entire two hours, and I think we all genuinely had a great time.
So maybe I need to let more people in, literally and figuratively. Maybe I'm missing out on something great by not letting people in. And maybe if someone judges me based on my lack of housekeeping skills, they aren't the kind of friend I need in my life anyway.
What about you? Is there anything you use a reason to keep people at bay? What are you afraid of?
As always, thanks for checking in!
So we don't have people over a lot. Hardly every really. But maybe we should. Because it was great. The kids played together well, she and I got to chat almost the entire two hours, and I think we all genuinely had a great time.
So maybe I need to let more people in, literally and figuratively. Maybe I'm missing out on something great by not letting people in. And maybe if someone judges me based on my lack of housekeeping skills, they aren't the kind of friend I need in my life anyway.
What about you? Is there anything you use a reason to keep people at bay? What are you afraid of?
As always, thanks for checking in!
Wednesday, June 7, 2017
We're Getting a Homeschool Room!
We are finishing up our third year of homeschooling, and thus far have done our daily lessons at the dining room table, and even added a cabinet in the dining room to hold school supplies. Well, as the years have passed and we have gradually added more and more books & supplies, we are quickly outgrowing the dining room. Especially now that Jillian has started her own preschool lessons, space is at a premium.
One day, as I was lamenting my need for more bookshelves, my brother texted me asking if I wanted free bookshelves! Seriously. (I call that a God moment). You see, he & his wife are downsizing, and needed to get rid of some larger items. Like bookshelves. We ended up getting two bookshelves and a small desk from them! Bingo. But now... where to put them.
Enter our family room. It hasn't gotten much use in the six years we've lived in the house. In the winter we use the functional wood-burning fireplace as a heat source, making it less than ideal for small children to play in, and uncomfortable for the rest of us. So, a room not very functional for almost half the year ended up being a space for junk storage.
Well, now that much of Jason's winter is spent putting up Christmas lights for our family business, he has less & less time for things like cutting & stacking firewood. In fact, last winter we didn't light the fire one time. Not once. We talked about the reasonableness of not using the fireplace for heat in the future, and agreed that while it's a great financial savings to have free heat, the combination of the time it takes to cut & stack wood, along with the prospect of being able to turn it into a functional school room, led us to agree to not burn fires there any longer, and make the change.
Well, a few weeks before the bookshelf incident, I had decided we needed to purge some of our "junk" and had already begun the process. So the room was already in the process of being emptied out. When I knew the furniture was coming, I started an effort to completely clean out the room, as well as paint the walls. I'm so excited at how it's coming along.
I think the new color, a light gray, is really going to brighten & open up the room. Once we get the new furniture in and the room set up, I think it's going to be a really nice space for the girls and I to have our lessons. And we'll have a functional space instead of wasted space.
Unfortunately I have to paint & prepare the room in phases, due to lack of time and need to parent small children. Some of you know what I mean. It would be nice to do all at once and be done, but bit-by-bit will be just fine and I'm still super-excited for the final product. I can't wait to show it to you!
As always, thanks for checking in!
One day, as I was lamenting my need for more bookshelves, my brother texted me asking if I wanted free bookshelves! Seriously. (I call that a God moment). You see, he & his wife are downsizing, and needed to get rid of some larger items. Like bookshelves. We ended up getting two bookshelves and a small desk from them! Bingo. But now... where to put them.
Enter our family room. It hasn't gotten much use in the six years we've lived in the house. In the winter we use the functional wood-burning fireplace as a heat source, making it less than ideal for small children to play in, and uncomfortable for the rest of us. So, a room not very functional for almost half the year ended up being a space for junk storage.
Well, now that much of Jason's winter is spent putting up Christmas lights for our family business, he has less & less time for things like cutting & stacking firewood. In fact, last winter we didn't light the fire one time. Not once. We talked about the reasonableness of not using the fireplace for heat in the future, and agreed that while it's a great financial savings to have free heat, the combination of the time it takes to cut & stack wood, along with the prospect of being able to turn it into a functional school room, led us to agree to not burn fires there any longer, and make the change.
Well, a few weeks before the bookshelf incident, I had decided we needed to purge some of our "junk" and had already begun the process. So the room was already in the process of being emptied out. When I knew the furniture was coming, I started an effort to completely clean out the room, as well as paint the walls. I'm so excited at how it's coming along.
 |
| Jena helped out painting the first coat |
I think the new color, a light gray, is really going to brighten & open up the room. Once we get the new furniture in and the room set up, I think it's going to be a really nice space for the girls and I to have our lessons. And we'll have a functional space instead of wasted space.
 |
| First section of the room painted & drying. I'm loving the new lighter color! |
Unfortunately I have to paint & prepare the room in phases, due to lack of time and need to parent small children. Some of you know what I mean. It would be nice to do all at once and be done, but bit-by-bit will be just fine and I'm still super-excited for the final product. I can't wait to show it to you!
As always, thanks for checking in!
Friday, February 24, 2017
I heart messy houses...
...that aren't mine.
The other day I dropped off some Pampered Chef items at a friend's house. I've never been to their house before, and couldn't stay I just peeked thru the doorway, and was relieved to see that it was messy.
Same thing when we dropped by my cousin's house a few weeks ago.
Or when someone in my moms' group on Facebook posts a picture of their disaster of a house and says they don't know how they're gonna get it clean.
I realize that this might sound mean or something, but I don't intend it that way. It just reassures me that I'm not alone. That I'm not the only one that doesn't always have a neat house. That maybe, just maybe, our cozy little mess is, in fact, normal.
The other day I dropped off some Pampered Chef items at a friend's house. I've never been to their house before, and couldn't stay I just peeked thru the doorway, and was relieved to see that it was messy.
Same thing when we dropped by my cousin's house a few weeks ago.
Or when someone in my moms' group on Facebook posts a picture of their disaster of a house and says they don't know how they're gonna get it clean.
I realize that this might sound mean or something, but I don't intend it that way. It just reassures me that I'm not alone. That I'm not the only one that doesn't always have a neat house. That maybe, just maybe, our cozy little mess is, in fact, normal.
Monday, July 6, 2015
FlyLady Update (BabySteps 6 thru 10)
Day 6: dressed & ready, shiny sink, read emails, look at post-its, recognize negative voices, two minute hot spot
- getting pretty good and this dressed & ready thing
- shiny sink actually got done at a decent hour
- read the emails, check
- never did do the post-its
- worked to keep negative voices in check
- okay, right now I feel like my entire house is a hot-spot, so I decided that for now my hot spot clean up will be whatever tidying chore is next on my to-do list. Today it was the entryway (I always start with the entryway, since it's the first place anyone sees when they come in the home). Done.
Day 7: okay, I'm not gonna list everything out every day. Just assume I'm doing all the previous things unless I write something else, plus one new, 'kay?
Today started out pretty rough, and honestly I'm just proud of the fact that I got all of my baby steps done for the day at all. Other than the post-its which I'm not doing. Yet anyway. Jillian woke up at 1am vomiting. I was up with her from 1am-4am and am going on about 3 hours of sleep total.
The new step for the day was to lay out my clothes for tomorrow. Honestly, I need to start doing this for myself. I already lay out Jena's & Jillian's clothes either the night before or first thing in the morning. I lay out Jason's uniforms for him the night before when I remember. But me? I'm usually the one scrambling to get ready at the last minute. So today I took Jillian around with me room to room and we laid out everyone's outfits for tomorrow.
The truth is in my pre-kids days I did this for work or church on a regular basis. I'd pick out my clothes for the next day, iron them if needed, and hang them on my bedroom door, complete with what matching undies I was wearing with them. That seems so long ago... It will do me good to get back into this habit.
Day 8: Split it into a Morning & Evening Routine, and add a two-minute Hotspot to the evening
This was the first day I didn't get everything done. The first day I didn't get my sink shined. A few negative words crept in, like "failed" and "failure", but I worked to get those out of my head. Still, I was bummed.
next day: down for the count with an AWFUL stomach bug. Nothing got done. Nothing.
next day: tried to use what energy I had to do things like catch up on laundry, dishes, sterlizing bottles, etc. So much gets behind in just that one day, plus we were already behind on laundry because of the stomach bug Jillian had a few days earlier, creating an abundance of dirty clothes.
Day 8 (repeat): see above
I decided since this was my first day getting back in the groove, and my last day I didn't complete all the tasks anyway, instead of moving forward with Day 9 items, I'd go back and try Day 8 again. This actually led me to a question: if these are babysteps to succeeding in the program, are we supposed to move forward if we haven't completed? or should we repeat that day until we do?
I know once you're in the regular FlyLady routine she promotes the idea that you are not behind, just jump in where you are, but since the point of these steps is to work up to that, should we move forward if we haven't achieved them yet? I'm honestly not sure. Either way, I repeated Day 8 today and this time I can say I got it done! Yay me!
Day 9: add a five minute declutter to the morning routine
Well, poop. Did not get the declutter done, did not get the second hot spot done. Ugh. Will repeat again tomorrow.
Day 9 (repeat): see above
Well, today I did get it done. And then some. I am getting a little concerned though. I mean, let's face it, the routine isn't even that much yet, we're not even a third of the way thru the baby steps, and I'm already starting to struggle getting things done. What is my problem?!?
Day 10: add two 15 minute segments - one gathering up all the trash you can find in your house and placing outside, and one relaxing and reading for yourself
Done! I have to admit, it feels pretty good!
- getting pretty good and this dressed & ready thing
- shiny sink actually got done at a decent hour
- read the emails, check
- never did do the post-its
- worked to keep negative voices in check
- okay, right now I feel like my entire house is a hot-spot, so I decided that for now my hot spot clean up will be whatever tidying chore is next on my to-do list. Today it was the entryway (I always start with the entryway, since it's the first place anyone sees when they come in the home). Done.
Day 7: okay, I'm not gonna list everything out every day. Just assume I'm doing all the previous things unless I write something else, plus one new, 'kay?
Today started out pretty rough, and honestly I'm just proud of the fact that I got all of my baby steps done for the day at all. Other than the post-its which I'm not doing. Yet anyway. Jillian woke up at 1am vomiting. I was up with her from 1am-4am and am going on about 3 hours of sleep total.
The new step for the day was to lay out my clothes for tomorrow. Honestly, I need to start doing this for myself. I already lay out Jena's & Jillian's clothes either the night before or first thing in the morning. I lay out Jason's uniforms for him the night before when I remember. But me? I'm usually the one scrambling to get ready at the last minute. So today I took Jillian around with me room to room and we laid out everyone's outfits for tomorrow.
The truth is in my pre-kids days I did this for work or church on a regular basis. I'd pick out my clothes for the next day, iron them if needed, and hang them on my bedroom door, complete with what matching undies I was wearing with them. That seems so long ago... It will do me good to get back into this habit.
Day 8: Split it into a Morning & Evening Routine, and add a two-minute Hotspot to the evening
This was the first day I didn't get everything done. The first day I didn't get my sink shined. A few negative words crept in, like "failed" and "failure", but I worked to get those out of my head. Still, I was bummed.
next day: down for the count with an AWFUL stomach bug. Nothing got done. Nothing.
next day: tried to use what energy I had to do things like catch up on laundry, dishes, sterlizing bottles, etc. So much gets behind in just that one day, plus we were already behind on laundry because of the stomach bug Jillian had a few days earlier, creating an abundance of dirty clothes.
Day 8 (repeat): see above
I decided since this was my first day getting back in the groove, and my last day I didn't complete all the tasks anyway, instead of moving forward with Day 9 items, I'd go back and try Day 8 again. This actually led me to a question: if these are babysteps to succeeding in the program, are we supposed to move forward if we haven't completed? or should we repeat that day until we do?
I know once you're in the regular FlyLady routine she promotes the idea that you are not behind, just jump in where you are, but since the point of these steps is to work up to that, should we move forward if we haven't achieved them yet? I'm honestly not sure. Either way, I repeated Day 8 today and this time I can say I got it done! Yay me!
Day 9: add a five minute declutter to the morning routine
Well, poop. Did not get the declutter done, did not get the second hot spot done. Ugh. Will repeat again tomorrow.
Day 9 (repeat): see above
Well, today I did get it done. And then some. I am getting a little concerned though. I mean, let's face it, the routine isn't even that much yet, we're not even a third of the way thru the baby steps, and I'm already starting to struggle getting things done. What is my problem?!?
Day 10: add two 15 minute segments - one gathering up all the trash you can find in your house and placing outside, and one relaxing and reading for yourself
Done! I have to admit, it feels pretty good!
Saturday, June 27, 2015
FlyLady Updates (BabySteps 2 thru 5)
Day 2: get dressed & ready and shine your sink.
- getting dressed & ready was easy on this particular day because it happened to fall on a day that Jena had Art Summer Camp, so I had to do it anyway. The challenge will be to do it on days when we aren't going anywhere and the temptation to stay in our pajamas will be strong.
- shining the sink wasn't too bad either. I have to say I was surprised at how much gunk was in there, after only one day! Maybe there's something to this after all!
Day 3: get dressed & ready, shine your sink, explore the FlyLady website (focus on the Launch Pad).
- get dressed & ready, again, easy because Jena had Art Summer Camp.
- shining my sink done as usual
- explore the FlyLady website, with focus on the Launch Pad. For me, this was intimidating. These baby steps almost seem too easy, but after looking at the Launch Pad it's hard for me to imagine being able to do everything on there with any sort of regularity. Heck, it's hard for me to imagine doing everything on there once. Okay... maybe once. But I guess that's why I'm here. It sounds wonderful. It's easy to see how if I could do those things with regularity my home would be much better taken care of, so there is a tiny part of me that is excited at the prospect that it might possibly happen some day. But mostly it seems impossible at this point. Scary. Never going to happen impossible. I'm glad today was just to explore the website, and not to do it, LOL.
Day 4: get dressed & ready, shine your sink, read your FlyLady message, and put post-its up to help remember these steps, as a beginner to your "Control Journal"
- getting dressed & ready, again, easy peasy because of Jena's Summer Camp
- shining my sink did not get done today. I had just finished sterilizing bottles and was just getting ready to wash dishes when Jason came home from Water Rescue... at 11pm. We talked for a few minutes and went to bed, with a sink full of soaking dishes.
- read the FlyLady message on the website
- I did not put up post-its. Maybe I'll regret it, but so far I don't need help remember steps. If it becomes to much in a day or two I'll start.
I'm mulling the idea of the "Control Journal". I already do much of what is included, just not all in one journal. I have a planner, a chore checklist (for me & Jena), an address book, etc. There are other items I have considered completing someday and never got around to. This may be a good motivation to get them done. But I'm not sure I'm sold on having each item wrapped up together in one large journal. So I will probably eventually complete the Control Journal, but will probably modify it to suit my needs.
I will admit, today I'm struggling a bit with this process. Wondering if I'm doing these BabySteps right. Mostly because it feels like I'm not doing anything. And even though they don't take up a ton of time, they do take time, time away from doing what household tasks I used to get done, done. Which means right now I'm in this phase where my house is getting worse instead of better. Except my kitchen sink. It looks great. Am I missing something? Did I read it wrong? Am I supposed to be doing the BabySteps plus? Or am I supposed to just trust this process, because BabySteps are supposed to be just that... tiny steps. I don't know. But today I'm frustrated.
Day 5: get dressed & ready, shine your sink, read your post-its, read the FlyLady message, special note about negativity
- with nowhere to go until later today, I kept forgetting to put my shoes on. Other than that, did okay.
- finished the dishes from last night late this morning, so got that sink shined early (for me)
- no post-its to read
- read the FlyLady message. Today's was about decorating.
- note about negativity was well-timed. Perhaps having doubts around day 4-5 is normal.
I admit, even before I checked my babystep for today, I looked ahead, first just a couple of days, then all the way to the end. I've been trying not to peek ahead, and really just take it one day at a time, but I needed reassurance that this really was going to pick up and I was going to get somewhere.
With no Summer Camp to take Jena to today, I have more time this morning to get other chores done. But, we are meeting my parents to lunch, then they are watching the girls while I go to the doctor, then back to their house for a visit probably thru dinnertime. Which means once we leave the house around 12noon I won't be back until nighttime. So I guess I'd better get off here and get cracking!
- getting dressed & ready was easy on this particular day because it happened to fall on a day that Jena had Art Summer Camp, so I had to do it anyway. The challenge will be to do it on days when we aren't going anywhere and the temptation to stay in our pajamas will be strong.
- shining the sink wasn't too bad either. I have to say I was surprised at how much gunk was in there, after only one day! Maybe there's something to this after all!
Day 3: get dressed & ready, shine your sink, explore the FlyLady website (focus on the Launch Pad).
- get dressed & ready, again, easy because Jena had Art Summer Camp.
- shining my sink done as usual
- explore the FlyLady website, with focus on the Launch Pad. For me, this was intimidating. These baby steps almost seem too easy, but after looking at the Launch Pad it's hard for me to imagine being able to do everything on there with any sort of regularity. Heck, it's hard for me to imagine doing everything on there once. Okay... maybe once. But I guess that's why I'm here. It sounds wonderful. It's easy to see how if I could do those things with regularity my home would be much better taken care of, so there is a tiny part of me that is excited at the prospect that it might possibly happen some day. But mostly it seems impossible at this point. Scary. Never going to happen impossible. I'm glad today was just to explore the website, and not to do it, LOL.
Day 4: get dressed & ready, shine your sink, read your FlyLady message, and put post-its up to help remember these steps, as a beginner to your "Control Journal"
- getting dressed & ready, again, easy peasy because of Jena's Summer Camp
- shining my sink did not get done today. I had just finished sterilizing bottles and was just getting ready to wash dishes when Jason came home from Water Rescue... at 11pm. We talked for a few minutes and went to bed, with a sink full of soaking dishes.
- read the FlyLady message on the website
- I did not put up post-its. Maybe I'll regret it, but so far I don't need help remember steps. If it becomes to much in a day or two I'll start.
I'm mulling the idea of the "Control Journal". I already do much of what is included, just not all in one journal. I have a planner, a chore checklist (for me & Jena), an address book, etc. There are other items I have considered completing someday and never got around to. This may be a good motivation to get them done. But I'm not sure I'm sold on having each item wrapped up together in one large journal. So I will probably eventually complete the Control Journal, but will probably modify it to suit my needs.
I will admit, today I'm struggling a bit with this process. Wondering if I'm doing these BabySteps right. Mostly because it feels like I'm not doing anything. And even though they don't take up a ton of time, they do take time, time away from doing what household tasks I used to get done, done. Which means right now I'm in this phase where my house is getting worse instead of better. Except my kitchen sink. It looks great. Am I missing something? Did I read it wrong? Am I supposed to be doing the BabySteps plus? Or am I supposed to just trust this process, because BabySteps are supposed to be just that... tiny steps. I don't know. But today I'm frustrated.
Day 5: get dressed & ready, shine your sink, read your post-its, read the FlyLady message, special note about negativity
- with nowhere to go until later today, I kept forgetting to put my shoes on. Other than that, did okay.
- finished the dishes from last night late this morning, so got that sink shined early (for me)
- no post-its to read
- read the FlyLady message. Today's was about decorating.
- note about negativity was well-timed. Perhaps having doubts around day 4-5 is normal.
I admit, even before I checked my babystep for today, I looked ahead, first just a couple of days, then all the way to the end. I've been trying not to peek ahead, and really just take it one day at a time, but I needed reassurance that this really was going to pick up and I was going to get somewhere.
With no Summer Camp to take Jena to today, I have more time this morning to get other chores done. But, we are meeting my parents to lunch, then they are watching the girls while I go to the doctor, then back to their house for a visit probably thru dinnertime. Which means once we leave the house around 12noon I won't be back until nighttime. So I guess I'd better get off here and get cracking!
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Day 1 of Project Home Organization
As I mentioned in my last post, I decided to give FlyLady another try. Today I did Babystep 1, Shine Your Sink.
I felt ridiculous.
I'm not gonna lie, with so many other things on my plate, so many other chores and tasks waiting for me, it seemed so silly to spend so much time & energy cleaning out my kitchen sink. I seriously considered skipping this step altogether and going to the second day even, except for two things:
#1 - I kept reminding myself that my own methods have not worked in the past. She is arguably an expert in the field, and has thousands of people who swear by her methods. But I did have to tell myself this multiple times throughout the day.
#2 - something she says on her site. She talks briefly about why such a seemingly small task is first, and part of it is about how if you are coming to her it's because you have struggled with your home probably for years and that means you are probably very beaten down and you need a small victory. And you see, the night before I had laid in bed and cried - no... sobbed - to Jason about how much I felt like a failure because I couldn't do it. I beat myself up daily over it. I feel like a failure as a wife & mother over it. And have for years. I am completely beaten down by the state of my home. She's right. She knows what she's talking about.
And so I did it. My kitchen sink has probably never been cleaner. Maybe not even when we installed it, LOL.
And while it wasn't the only chore I did today, the time I spent doing that, combined with a extra-whiny Jillian, meant that I got a lot less accomplished than I would have liked.
But I'm going to trust the process. I'm asking my husband to trust the process. He knows all too well that my own methods haven't worked either, so I'm asking him to please support me in trying this new way of doing things, even if they don't always make sense to either of us. Because something has to change.
I'm hoping this works. I need this to work. I probably won't post about my progress every day, but I will try to keep you updated on how it goes.
As always, thanks for checking in!
I felt ridiculous.
I'm not gonna lie, with so many other things on my plate, so many other chores and tasks waiting for me, it seemed so silly to spend so much time & energy cleaning out my kitchen sink. I seriously considered skipping this step altogether and going to the second day even, except for two things:
#1 - I kept reminding myself that my own methods have not worked in the past. She is arguably an expert in the field, and has thousands of people who swear by her methods. But I did have to tell myself this multiple times throughout the day.
#2 - something she says on her site. She talks briefly about why such a seemingly small task is first, and part of it is about how if you are coming to her it's because you have struggled with your home probably for years and that means you are probably very beaten down and you need a small victory. And you see, the night before I had laid in bed and cried - no... sobbed - to Jason about how much I felt like a failure because I couldn't do it. I beat myself up daily over it. I feel like a failure as a wife & mother over it. And have for years. I am completely beaten down by the state of my home. She's right. She knows what she's talking about.
And so I did it. My kitchen sink has probably never been cleaner. Maybe not even when we installed it, LOL.
And while it wasn't the only chore I did today, the time I spent doing that, combined with a extra-whiny Jillian, meant that I got a lot less accomplished than I would have liked.
But I'm going to trust the process. I'm asking my husband to trust the process. He knows all too well that my own methods haven't worked either, so I'm asking him to please support me in trying this new way of doing things, even if they don't always make sense to either of us. Because something has to change.
I'm hoping this works. I need this to work. I probably won't post about my progress every day, but I will try to keep you updated on how it goes.
As always, thanks for checking in!
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
FlyLady
Are ya'll familiar with FlyLady? Well, I heard about her system years ago. Even tried it after I had Jena. It's a method of creating and maintaining a clean & organized home.
I failed the first time I tried it. But looking back, maybe it wasn't the best time for me to try something new. I was struggling with a new baby, problems in my marriage, post partum depression, work, etc, etc, etc. Even though I needed something to help me manage my house, maybe adding a new responsibility in the form of a new process wasn't the best idea at the time. No wonder I failed!
Well, I came across her stuff again recently, and I have to admit that my own methods just aren't working. I figured once I was a SAHM and I had more time in the house, I would be able to manage the home myself.
Boy, was I wrong.
It's not for lack of trying. I cannot express to you how hard I work at it. I try so hard. I've created different schedules, I've gotten up early, stayed up late, worked, worked, worked. I feel horrible because I feel like I never actually play with my kids because all I do is chores. Yet somehow my house is still a disaster and I mostly fix pre-made frozen dinners.
Clearly I am doing something wrong. I just don't know what it is.
I discussed it with my mom, and she told me that when she has known a SAHM that didn't have a clean house, they usually had a hidden time killer they needed to get rid of. She had her own when she was younger: television.
Well, I'm not not saying it's not still a possibility, but I am saying if I have time killer, I haven't found it yet. I've eliminated watching my shows down to feedings or while folding laundry. Didn't help. Social media, and other screen time? Limited that to while on the toilet (don't tell my friends, LOL) or while waiting for Jillian to fall asleep (she's a super-light sleeper and we have a small house, so it's "don't move!" until we know she's down - usually 5 - 10 min). As you already know, I gave up blogging until recently. Still no. I even gave up getting regular sleep and started staying up later and/or getting up earlier (depending on the day's activities) so I could get more done. Nope. So if there's a time killer there, I don't know what it is.
But what is evident is that my methods aren't working, and I need outside help. So I decided to try FlyLady again.
Wish me luck!
I failed the first time I tried it. But looking back, maybe it wasn't the best time for me to try something new. I was struggling with a new baby, problems in my marriage, post partum depression, work, etc, etc, etc. Even though I needed something to help me manage my house, maybe adding a new responsibility in the form of a new process wasn't the best idea at the time. No wonder I failed!
Well, I came across her stuff again recently, and I have to admit that my own methods just aren't working. I figured once I was a SAHM and I had more time in the house, I would be able to manage the home myself.
Boy, was I wrong.
It's not for lack of trying. I cannot express to you how hard I work at it. I try so hard. I've created different schedules, I've gotten up early, stayed up late, worked, worked, worked. I feel horrible because I feel like I never actually play with my kids because all I do is chores. Yet somehow my house is still a disaster and I mostly fix pre-made frozen dinners.
Clearly I am doing something wrong. I just don't know what it is.
I discussed it with my mom, and she told me that when she has known a SAHM that didn't have a clean house, they usually had a hidden time killer they needed to get rid of. She had her own when she was younger: television.
Well, I'm not not saying it's not still a possibility, but I am saying if I have time killer, I haven't found it yet. I've eliminated watching my shows down to feedings or while folding laundry. Didn't help. Social media, and other screen time? Limited that to while on the toilet (don't tell my friends, LOL) or while waiting for Jillian to fall asleep (she's a super-light sleeper and we have a small house, so it's "don't move!" until we know she's down - usually 5 - 10 min). As you already know, I gave up blogging until recently. Still no. I even gave up getting regular sleep and started staying up later and/or getting up earlier (depending on the day's activities) so I could get more done. Nope. So if there's a time killer there, I don't know what it is.
But what is evident is that my methods aren't working, and I need outside help. So I decided to try FlyLady again.
Wish me luck!
Monday, September 1, 2014
Big News
So sorry it's been so long since I've been on. Life has been quite a whirlwind lately.
The biggest thing that I have to fill you in on is that I resigned from my job and am officially a full-time wife, mother, and homemaker.
It was a difficult decision, one that my husband & I discussed possibly hundreds of time.
It is definitely a leap of faith, but there have been numerous things that have occurred that make it seem as if God was laying the path out for us. Some things were giant stones along the path, others were tiny pieces of gravel filling in the cracks, but all of them seemed to be pointing the same direction: me staying home.
It's definitely been an adjustment for all of us.
The most uncomfortable part for me was waiting to officially resign. Even though we decided partway into my leave, for policy technicality reasons I had to finish my leave, return to work, put in a full eight hours, then leave. Keeping it a secret from myco-workers friends until then was really hard. Coming back to all the choruses of "welcome back" and "we missed you" was really hard, since it wasn't announced until lunch. My management team knew first thing, but we had to wait until the official announcement at 12noon. So weird to be there, working, with everyone so glad to see me, but knowing the whole time it was my last day.
I cried. A lot. After 10 years there a lot of those people felt more like family and friends than co-workers.
And there is a huge part of me that wanted to stay. Especially with all the changes at work. My company is relocating, and my division is headed to Michigan. Not that I want to move to Michigan, but I hate not being there for this major development.
Anyway, so far staying home is amazing. I literally cry at least once a week with happiness. I'm still getting the hang of everything, but it's great.
It would help if our routine would stop changing every couple of weeks, but for right now, that's life.
Just as a quick picture, right now my routine consists of going to a fitness boot camp several times a week, taking Jena to piano lessons weekly, and... homeschooling Jena. Plus all the infant care, chores, housework, etc, etc, etc that go along with it.
I'll try to post more details on each later, but I at least wanted to give you all an update on the biggest development since having the baby.
As always, thanks for checking in!
The biggest thing that I have to fill you in on is that I resigned from my job and am officially a full-time wife, mother, and homemaker.
It was a difficult decision, one that my husband & I discussed possibly hundreds of time.
It is definitely a leap of faith, but there have been numerous things that have occurred that make it seem as if God was laying the path out for us. Some things were giant stones along the path, others were tiny pieces of gravel filling in the cracks, but all of them seemed to be pointing the same direction: me staying home.
It's definitely been an adjustment for all of us.
The most uncomfortable part for me was waiting to officially resign. Even though we decided partway into my leave, for policy technicality reasons I had to finish my leave, return to work, put in a full eight hours, then leave. Keeping it a secret from my
I cried. A lot. After 10 years there a lot of those people felt more like family and friends than co-workers.
And there is a huge part of me that wanted to stay. Especially with all the changes at work. My company is relocating, and my division is headed to Michigan. Not that I want to move to Michigan, but I hate not being there for this major development.
Anyway, so far staying home is amazing. I literally cry at least once a week with happiness. I'm still getting the hang of everything, but it's great.
It would help if our routine would stop changing every couple of weeks, but for right now, that's life.
Just as a quick picture, right now my routine consists of going to a fitness boot camp several times a week, taking Jena to piano lessons weekly, and... homeschooling Jena. Plus all the infant care, chores, housework, etc, etc, etc that go along with it.
I'll try to post more details on each later, but I at least wanted to give you all an update on the biggest development since having the baby.
As always, thanks for checking in!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
List of Gratitude
If I'm being honest, I've been struggling a lot lately with a lack of gratitude. Well, more precisely I guess you could call it envy. I've watched as some of the people in my circle seem to be getting all of the things I long for. Sometimes it is so precisely exactly what I was wanting, that I almost want to accuse them of doing it just to spite me. Which is ridiculous.
So in an effort to help refocus my mind on what I do have, instead of what I do not, I've decided to do a gratitude post. Enjoy!
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I am thankful for:
my husband So many years I spent thinking I would never find anyone to love me (not forever, anyway), that I would possibly never be married, yet here I am. Married for 6 years now to my best friend.
my daughter She is the incarnation of every dream I ever had about motherhood. She is the fulfillment of my calling, my reason for existence. She amazes me every day.
our home I've always wanted to own land. Our little ranch house on 5.5 acres is perfect. Sure, I'd like to develop it some more: a barn, fencing, etc. But it's the living area I always dreamed of having.
our critters I can't imagine myself without sharing my life with some of God's creatures. Three dogs, two cats, and 10 chickens are enough. For now. I am thankful that none of us have allergies that prevent us from having these wonderful companions in our lives.
my family I am blessed to come from a large extended family, and can't imagine my life any other way. We gather religiously at every holiday, often in gatherings of 50 or more people. They are an amazing group, and a source of strength in my life.
my job While sometimes I lament not being a SAHM, the truth is I like my job. I work with people I genuinely care about, I've learned a multitude of new skills, I'm respected in certain circles, there is opportunity for broadening my horizons. Add to that decent pay and amazing benefits and I have truly been blessed in this area.
our church Our church is amazing. The outreach to the community, the opportunities to serve, the teachings, the friendships... we have gained so much by joining this particular house of worship.
our finances While things could certainly be better, and they have, we are doing okay. We can pay all of our bills, and even have a little left over. Plus we have some in savings. All in all, we're doing well.
social media I end on the medium that brought me to blogging: social media. I started blogging via MySpace, and eventually expanded to a "real" blog. I've met friends thru blogging that turned into real life friends, I've reconnected with old friends via MySpace & Facebook, I've met friends via message boards, and shared my thoughts on Twitter. Social media has been good for me.
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Please pray for me to continue to turn my mindset around. And as always, thanks for checking in!
So in an effort to help refocus my mind on what I do have, instead of what I do not, I've decided to do a gratitude post. Enjoy!
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I am thankful for:
my husband So many years I spent thinking I would never find anyone to love me (not forever, anyway), that I would possibly never be married, yet here I am. Married for 6 years now to my best friend.
my daughter She is the incarnation of every dream I ever had about motherhood. She is the fulfillment of my calling, my reason for existence. She amazes me every day.
our home I've always wanted to own land. Our little ranch house on 5.5 acres is perfect. Sure, I'd like to develop it some more: a barn, fencing, etc. But it's the living area I always dreamed of having.
our critters I can't imagine myself without sharing my life with some of God's creatures. Three dogs, two cats, and 10 chickens are enough. For now. I am thankful that none of us have allergies that prevent us from having these wonderful companions in our lives.
my family I am blessed to come from a large extended family, and can't imagine my life any other way. We gather religiously at every holiday, often in gatherings of 50 or more people. They are an amazing group, and a source of strength in my life.
my job While sometimes I lament not being a SAHM, the truth is I like my job. I work with people I genuinely care about, I've learned a multitude of new skills, I'm respected in certain circles, there is opportunity for broadening my horizons. Add to that decent pay and amazing benefits and I have truly been blessed in this area.
our church Our church is amazing. The outreach to the community, the opportunities to serve, the teachings, the friendships... we have gained so much by joining this particular house of worship.
our finances While things could certainly be better, and they have, we are doing okay. We can pay all of our bills, and even have a little left over. Plus we have some in savings. All in all, we're doing well.
social media I end on the medium that brought me to blogging: social media. I started blogging via MySpace, and eventually expanded to a "real" blog. I've met friends thru blogging that turned into real life friends, I've reconnected with old friends via MySpace & Facebook, I've met friends via message boards, and shared my thoughts on Twitter. Social media has been good for me.
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Please pray for me to continue to turn my mindset around. And as always, thanks for checking in!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Better at This
I penned this one day while thinking of all the housework waiting for me at home, perpetually waiting for me, thinking of the piles of laundry, of the mess throughout, stressing over never getting it right, worrying over what lessons I am teaching my daughter about keeping a home.
I realized that somewhere in my mind I thought there was a magic switch that would turn on once I became a mom that would automatically make things like keeping a clean house, planning & cooking meals, and maintaining a beautiful flowerbed second nature.
I mean, if you had asked me, I would say "of course there's no magic switch", but the day-to-day reality of these things is so far from what I had expected, that clearly some little corner of my mind harbored this "magic switch" theory.
I was wrong. So very wrong.
If you've been following me for any time at all you know this has been a constant struggle for me. A constant battle. And if I lose a day of housework, just one day, due to busyness of life, or illness, or vacation... well, one lost day equals a month of catch up. There is no wiggle room for me to lose a day of housework.
So many days I feel like all is lost.
I try to console myself with what I did accomplish each day, listing out my accomplishments, but looking around it seems so small compared with what is left to do. Every day. Fighting a losing battle.
As I wash & fold load after load of laundry, struggling to keep my husband in clean uniforms, me in clean work clothes, and Jena in... well, in clean clothes - the mess piles up in the living room.
As I shift my focus to the living room, the kitchen sink overflows with dishes.
As I wash the dishes, the shower starts begging for a good scrub.
As I scrub the shower, my family complains for lack of clean clothes.
And thus the vicious cycle begins again.
It feels like a battle I can never win. Not just win, but not lose.
I hate that our house is messy. Hate it.
I also hate subsisting on 5 hours a sleep per night as I stay up past midnight, trying to get more chores done, and get up at 5:30am, to do more in the morning before work.
I have tried, for five years, to try to figure out how to fit in working full-time outside the home, handling all of the child care, most of the pet care, most of the errand-running, the vast majority of the cooking, and all of the housework. I know it my head that it's physically impossible, it can't be done, as there are only so many hours in a day.
But that knowledge alone does not keep me from feeling like I am failing my family, like I am failing myself, like I am not good at this wife & mother thing.
I push these feelings aside most of the time, but then once in a while, they come out. And sometimes when they do... I write.
As always, thanks for checking in.
I realized that somewhere in my mind I thought there was a magic switch that would turn on once I became a mom that would automatically make things like keeping a clean house, planning & cooking meals, and maintaining a beautiful flowerbed second nature.
I mean, if you had asked me, I would say "of course there's no magic switch", but the day-to-day reality of these things is so far from what I had expected, that clearly some little corner of my mind harbored this "magic switch" theory.
I was wrong. So very wrong.
If you've been following me for any time at all you know this has been a constant struggle for me. A constant battle. And if I lose a day of housework, just one day, due to busyness of life, or illness, or vacation... well, one lost day equals a month of catch up. There is no wiggle room for me to lose a day of housework.
So many days I feel like all is lost.
I try to console myself with what I did accomplish each day, listing out my accomplishments, but looking around it seems so small compared with what is left to do. Every day. Fighting a losing battle.
As I wash & fold load after load of laundry, struggling to keep my husband in clean uniforms, me in clean work clothes, and Jena in... well, in clean clothes - the mess piles up in the living room.
As I shift my focus to the living room, the kitchen sink overflows with dishes.
As I wash the dishes, the shower starts begging for a good scrub.
As I scrub the shower, my family complains for lack of clean clothes.
And thus the vicious cycle begins again.
It feels like a battle I can never win. Not just win, but not lose.
I hate that our house is messy. Hate it.
I also hate subsisting on 5 hours a sleep per night as I stay up past midnight, trying to get more chores done, and get up at 5:30am, to do more in the morning before work.
I have tried, for five years, to try to figure out how to fit in working full-time outside the home, handling all of the child care, most of the pet care, most of the errand-running, the vast majority of the cooking, and all of the housework. I know it my head that it's physically impossible, it can't be done, as there are only so many hours in a day.
But that knowledge alone does not keep me from feeling like I am failing my family, like I am failing myself, like I am not good at this wife & mother thing.
I push these feelings aside most of the time, but then once in a while, they come out. And sometimes when they do... I write.
As always, thanks for checking in.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Mini Update
I feel this ambition to get my life " in order" before we get pregnant. Not like I'm not managing things now, but like I feel this need to really get things better under control. A better meal plan, better cleaning schedule, better morning routine, things like that.
Probably not a bad idea, because I know that with pregnancy will come a loss of energy (at least at some point), and a new baby will bring its own challenges to getting things done around the house, so improving upon the current can only, well, improve things, right?
So that's where I am right now. As always, thanks for checking in!
Probably not a bad idea, because I know that with pregnancy will come a loss of energy (at least at some point), and a new baby will bring its own challenges to getting things done around the house, so improving upon the current can only, well, improve things, right?
So that's where I am right now. As always, thanks for checking in!
Sunday, March 10, 2013
SNOW !!!
Last week we got some unexpected snow. It was beautiful! And the temps stayed high enough that it was just snow (no ice), and once it melted it didn't re-freeze. In other words, perfect snow. Also, highly unusual 'round these parts. Loved it!
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| Chief |
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| view out our back window |
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| Buddy |
Saturday, March 9, 2013
New bathroom!
Jena helped me finish out our hallway bathroom. I am so in love with the final product. It's small, but I love it! Enjoy!
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| Jena helping me paint the beadboard |
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| Jena LOVES "the States", so this picture was just perfect |
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all bathroom accessories, including artwork found at Target
all bathroom accessories, including artwork found at Target
Friday, March 1, 2013
I really just should not be allowed in the kitchen at all
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| source |
I did not seek out instruction when I was younger, because I honestly believed that cooking was something that everyone could do well, that just came on as you got older.
It does not.
Not all cooks are created equal.
Not even close.
When I was pregnant with Jena, we took a babymoon to the Smoky Mountains. I distinctly remember eating breakfast at a pancake house, when I had a complete, sobbing breakdown over my pancakes. Oh yes, I'm sure hormones were involved, but more importantly it dawned on me that my child, the baby in my belly, might one day like pancakes... and I didn't know how to make them.
Not for lack of trying.
I had tried, and failed, several times to make basic pancakes.
While I didn't know how to make them, I also knew it wasn't rocket science. But I just couldn't do it.
(incidentally, Jena does like pancakes, and just last week I made my first batch of not-horrible pancakes - yay me!)
I've thrown out too many recipes to mention. Messed up too much food. Wasted too much money on ruined attempts at cooking. Set off the smoke detectors more times than I care to admit.
There's a reason most of the "cooking" done at our house comes prepackaged and ready to go. Time constraints and convenience are only part of the story.
When I say my husband is a much better cook than I am, I mean it. I'm not just trying to flatter him. I'm not just trying to get him to cook more (although really, he is better, so shouldn't he? LOL). He really is better in the kitchen than I am.
And I'm okay with that.
I can manage. I get my family fed. I have a few simple dishes that get the job done. I wouldn't mind experimenting and finding a few more in the future, if I had some spare time (my mom, since she has retired, as enjoyed having time to expend her cooking reportoire, as might I).
What does bother me, is the simple things.
That I struggle to make pancakes. That I had to have an egg separator explained to me. That we got a food processor for our wedding that has never been used because I don't know what it's for.
That this morning, I couldn't make a freakin' smoothie, made a mess all over the kitchen, and tonight will have my husband show me how to work the blender.
That bothers me.
The simple stuff.
I try not to let it get to me. Because we can't all be good at the same things. But still.
Sometimes I think I just shouldn't be allowed in the kitchen at all.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Two degrees
The other night we lost electricity on our house for the first time since we moved in, over two years ago.
Winds had been howling all day, and extended into the evening. Sustained at 35-30 mph. Gusts over 60 mph.
Strong enough that I could see the panes in our windows bending ever so slightly when the gusts came along. Needless to say, that freaked me out.
Also needless to say, Jason was on shift. Stupid Murphy's Law.
Around 11:30pm, just as I was getting ready to slip into bed, the electricity went out.
Do you have any idea how dark it is in a house at 11:30pm with no light anywhere? It's dark. Pitch black dark.
It was also cold. Temps in the low 20s. Wind chills in the teens. And no more furnace.
No more 72 degrees (we keep it warm due to Jena's cold-air induced cough).
Worried that since we lived in a rural area (ie. fewer people) we would be last on the list for the electric company to fix, I sprang into action. Using the dim light from my cell phone I made my way thru the house, gathered an extra quilt and spread it on top of our bed, already covered in flannel sheets and a toasty comforter. Then I went to Jena's room and carried her into our bed (she sleeps like a rock & never woke up). Back to her room to get her comforter and spread it on top of our bed as well.
Climbed into bed, cuddled up next to her... and realized I was sweating. Maybe we don't need all 3 blankets just yet. I folded the top two down and snuggled back in to sleep.
Woke up when the lights came on at 3am. Walked thru the house checking things out, and decided to check the thermostat to see how cold it got. Didn't feel too bad.
70 degrees.
And that, folks, is why we paid extra for the nicer windows when we were renovating the house. Two years ago we got all new windows & doors as part of the renovation.
It took nearly 3 hours for the temp inside the house to drop a mere 2 degrees.
That, plus the fact that we have a wood-burning fireplace, makes me feel a lot better should we lose power during the Winter again.
Although I'd still probably bring the munchkin into bed, just to be safe.
As always, thanks for checking in.
Winds had been howling all day, and extended into the evening. Sustained at 35-30 mph. Gusts over 60 mph.
Strong enough that I could see the panes in our windows bending ever so slightly when the gusts came along. Needless to say, that freaked me out.
Also needless to say, Jason was on shift. Stupid Murphy's Law.
Around 11:30pm, just as I was getting ready to slip into bed, the electricity went out.
Do you have any idea how dark it is in a house at 11:30pm with no light anywhere? It's dark. Pitch black dark.
It was also cold. Temps in the low 20s. Wind chills in the teens. And no more furnace.
No more 72 degrees (we keep it warm due to Jena's cold-air induced cough).
Worried that since we lived in a rural area (ie. fewer people) we would be last on the list for the electric company to fix, I sprang into action. Using the dim light from my cell phone I made my way thru the house, gathered an extra quilt and spread it on top of our bed, already covered in flannel sheets and a toasty comforter. Then I went to Jena's room and carried her into our bed (she sleeps like a rock & never woke up). Back to her room to get her comforter and spread it on top of our bed as well.
Climbed into bed, cuddled up next to her... and realized I was sweating. Maybe we don't need all 3 blankets just yet. I folded the top two down and snuggled back in to sleep.
Woke up when the lights came on at 3am. Walked thru the house checking things out, and decided to check the thermostat to see how cold it got. Didn't feel too bad.
70 degrees.
And that, folks, is why we paid extra for the nicer windows when we were renovating the house. Two years ago we got all new windows & doors as part of the renovation.
It took nearly 3 hours for the temp inside the house to drop a mere 2 degrees.
That, plus the fact that we have a wood-burning fireplace, makes me feel a lot better should we lose power during the Winter again.
Although I'd still probably bring the munchkin into bed, just to be safe.
As always, thanks for checking in.
Friday, November 2, 2012
Perspective
I've been thinking a lot about perspective lately. Specifically how one's perspective on something greatly helps to shape their thoughts, feelings, and reactions to that something.
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First, in relation to work. Maybe you remember my post asking my co-workers to stop whining. In that post I explain that everyone feels like they are getting a raw deal. And maybe some are. But from what I can see, what makes them feel this way is less what is actually going on, and more their perspective on what has occurred.
Because most of our upper management came from Group B, Group A feels like the org change has been a "takeover". From Group A members I've heard repeatedly "why do we have to do everything the way Group B did it?"
At the exact same time, our mgmt has taken pains to try to make Group A feel included, I've been in the meetings where they refused to change something just to not offend Group A. These actions lead to me hearing from Group B members "why do we have to do everything the way Group A did it?"
If it weren't so annoying, it's kinda funny. Members of both groups feel like "everything" is being done the way the other group did it, and their ways of doing things are being tossed aside.
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Next, in relation to the SAHM vs Working Mom thing. I'm sure my last post on the subject may have ruffled a few feathers. I even debated not posting it, for that reason. But it's my blog, and it articulates well how I feel, so I kept it.
But I kept asking myself why it bothered me so much. And I finally realized. I feel like it's lopsided.
From my perspective - what I see, hear, and deal with on a daily basis - SAHMs get more support than working moms. That's what it boils down to. I'm hurt, upset, and a little angry that working moms aren't given the same support & respect for the job they do as moms.
I hear SAHMs complain about how busy they are, how much work they have to do, how their houses are messy and they can't find the time to get anything done - and I hear others telling them that oh, yes, you do hard work, it is hard to stay home, you do do a lot of work, no one can expect you to keep a clean house all the time because of everything else you have to do, can I babysit for you sometime so you can get something done / have some time to yourself.
I've heard it verbally, I see it posted on someone's wall or on a mommy message board probably weekly.
At the same time, if I say something about how busy I am, my house isn't clean, I can't find time to cook, or grocery shop, etc.... well, from my perspective instead of understanding and support, I get told (nicely or not so nicely) that I need to manage my time better.
I mean, if only I managed my time better, I would be better at meal planning, and could pre-cook all of my meals on Sunday to be re-heated during the week, I could cook more.
If only I managed my time better, I could follow FlyLady or Organized Home or Martha Stewart and my house would be clean.
If only I managed my time better, I could clip coupons and maintain a good grocery list, and zip thru the grocery store in no time, and still spend less money.
Oddly enough, I get more criticism from fellow working moms, and the understanding I do get usually comes from SAHMs. Honestly, I would think it would be the other way around.
At the same time that my perspective tells me SAHMs get more understanding & support than WMs, I also acknowledge the perspective of a lot of SAHMs feel exactly the opposite. And maybe if all of us could somehow take a step back and see things from a completely objective third-party position, then maybe all of our insecurities, and hard feelings, and emotional ickiness would just fall away.
*******************
Those are just two issues, but this idea of perspective has infiltrated my thoughts on nearly every topic over the past few weeks. From Entitlement, to Presidential Debates, to Volunteer Work, to Religion, to Infertility, and so much more... perspective.
*******************
First, in relation to work. Maybe you remember my post asking my co-workers to stop whining. In that post I explain that everyone feels like they are getting a raw deal. And maybe some are. But from what I can see, what makes them feel this way is less what is actually going on, and more their perspective on what has occurred.
Because most of our upper management came from Group B, Group A feels like the org change has been a "takeover". From Group A members I've heard repeatedly "why do we have to do everything the way Group B did it?"
At the exact same time, our mgmt has taken pains to try to make Group A feel included, I've been in the meetings where they refused to change something just to not offend Group A. These actions lead to me hearing from Group B members "why do we have to do everything the way Group A did it?"
If it weren't so annoying, it's kinda funny. Members of both groups feel like "everything" is being done the way the other group did it, and their ways of doing things are being tossed aside.
*******************
Next, in relation to the SAHM vs Working Mom thing. I'm sure my last post on the subject may have ruffled a few feathers. I even debated not posting it, for that reason. But it's my blog, and it articulates well how I feel, so I kept it.
But I kept asking myself why it bothered me so much. And I finally realized. I feel like it's lopsided.
From my perspective - what I see, hear, and deal with on a daily basis - SAHMs get more support than working moms. That's what it boils down to. I'm hurt, upset, and a little angry that working moms aren't given the same support & respect for the job they do as moms.
I hear SAHMs complain about how busy they are, how much work they have to do, how their houses are messy and they can't find the time to get anything done - and I hear others telling them that oh, yes, you do hard work, it is hard to stay home, you do do a lot of work, no one can expect you to keep a clean house all the time because of everything else you have to do, can I babysit for you sometime so you can get something done / have some time to yourself.
I've heard it verbally, I see it posted on someone's wall or on a mommy message board probably weekly.
At the same time, if I say something about how busy I am, my house isn't clean, I can't find time to cook, or grocery shop, etc.... well, from my perspective instead of understanding and support, I get told (nicely or not so nicely) that I need to manage my time better.
I mean, if only I managed my time better, I would be better at meal planning, and could pre-cook all of my meals on Sunday to be re-heated during the week, I could cook more.
If only I managed my time better, I could follow FlyLady or Organized Home or Martha Stewart and my house would be clean.
If only I managed my time better, I could clip coupons and maintain a good grocery list, and zip thru the grocery store in no time, and still spend less money.
Oddly enough, I get more criticism from fellow working moms, and the understanding I do get usually comes from SAHMs. Honestly, I would think it would be the other way around.
At the same time that my perspective tells me SAHMs get more understanding & support than WMs, I also acknowledge the perspective of a lot of SAHMs feel exactly the opposite. And maybe if all of us could somehow take a step back and see things from a completely objective third-party position, then maybe all of our insecurities, and hard feelings, and emotional ickiness would just fall away.
*******************
Those are just two issues, but this idea of perspective has infiltrated my thoughts on nearly every topic over the past few weeks. From Entitlement, to Presidential Debates, to Volunteer Work, to Religion, to Infertility, and so much more... perspective.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Why isn't my house clean?
Wanna know why my house isn't clean?
I'm a working mom.
I know that's not a be-all, end-all reason, but what does it mean?
It means I was physically away from my home for 11 hours today.
Factor in getting ready for work, getting Jena ready for school, the few chores (laundry & dishes) I got done this morning, plus the dinner we just ate, and I've been "working" for 14 hours.
Bedtime routine, including bath, will be around an hour for the munchkin.
That means I will have been working, either at my job or directly taking care of my child, for 15 hours today.
That leaves just 9 hours to spent a tiny bit of quality time with my husband, attempt to perform a few household chores, get myself ready for bed, and, you know... sleep.
This is not a rare circumstance. This is a normal day.
Factor in a trip to the grocery store, an odd errand, or (Lord willing) the occasional trip to the park, and my available house-cleaning time shrinks significantly.
Our weekends are booked almost solid between now... and New Years. True story.
Oh, I should have my husband help out more?
Well, my husband's job means that he is gone overnight at least 1/3 of the time (more if he's pulling a double - like he is tonight & tomorrow).
The nights that he is off shift, he is either working late at his 2nd job (got home at 7pm last night), or doing his own chores (reparing the chicken coup, digging out a clogged septic pipe, mowing the lawn, etc).
And squeezing in far-too-little quality time with myself & Jena.
I wish my house were tidier. I really do. I really, really do.
But I'm going to stop feeling guilty about it.
I think a 15 hour work day should grant me at least that much, don't you?
I'm a working mom.
I know that's not a be-all, end-all reason, but what does it mean?
It means I was physically away from my home for 11 hours today.
Factor in getting ready for work, getting Jena ready for school, the few chores (laundry & dishes) I got done this morning, plus the dinner we just ate, and I've been "working" for 14 hours.
Bedtime routine, including bath, will be around an hour for the munchkin.
That means I will have been working, either at my job or directly taking care of my child, for 15 hours today.
That leaves just 9 hours to spent a tiny bit of quality time with my husband, attempt to perform a few household chores, get myself ready for bed, and, you know... sleep.
This is not a rare circumstance. This is a normal day.
Factor in a trip to the grocery store, an odd errand, or (Lord willing) the occasional trip to the park, and my available house-cleaning time shrinks significantly.
Our weekends are booked almost solid between now... and New Years. True story.
Oh, I should have my husband help out more?
Well, my husband's job means that he is gone overnight at least 1/3 of the time (more if he's pulling a double - like he is tonight & tomorrow).
The nights that he is off shift, he is either working late at his 2nd job (got home at 7pm last night), or doing his own chores (reparing the chicken coup, digging out a clogged septic pipe, mowing the lawn, etc).
And squeezing in far-too-little quality time with myself & Jena.
I wish my house were tidier. I really do. I really, really do.
But I'm going to stop feeling guilty about it.
I think a 15 hour work day should grant me at least that much, don't you?
Monday, August 13, 2012
Back to Using Lists
My longtime readers may remember this post about how for me lists went from helpful tool to harmful crutch.
Well, after some time of not using any lists or calendars at home, I discovered that my newfound freedom was resulting in a little too much not-getting-stuff-done.
And so, I brought back a few of my lists, just updated.
Chore List
Same list, used slightly differently.
I still mark down the date when I do a chore, just not every. single. time. Prevously, if I did 3 loads of laundry in a day, I would mark it down 3 times. Now I just write down the date. It really does help me keep on top of how long it's been since I've done certain chores, and helps me keep the house maintained.
Grocery List
After one too many times of arriving home only to realize what I'd forgotten at the store, and one to many times of not having the coupon I wanted to use, it was starting to stress me out to not have a list, just knowing how much time & money I was wasting by not being organized. So the grocery list is back.
Chore Schedule
This is new to me, and still in the testing phase. I struggle so much with keeping our house together, that I thought I'd try one of the many house cleaning schedules I've seen online. The only problem was that all the ones I found were clearly geared towards SAHMs. So I printed out 4 of the most popular, marked down what they had in common, and prioritized tasks. I came up with 4 daily & 2 optional chores for each day, and made a calendar. Seemed doable enough.
Not so much. Yet. I think it needs... tweaking. I used it for a month with very limited success, modified it a little, and it went a little better last month. I think I'll still work on it. If I ever get to where I feel it's a really good, easy-to-keep-up-with system, I'll share.
Meal Planning Calendar
This one is coming back next week, and is primarily the result of me trying not to eat out as much. The truth is there are actually times when we eat out either because I can't think of what we might have to eat at the house, or because we've run out of meals at the house. True story. So my meal planning calendar is coming back in an effort to help me prepare to eat in. I've changed it some from when Iunsuccessfully used it before, so hopefully combined with my new incentive to eat in, I'll be able to tie it in to my grocery list and it will work some better.
So that's where I am. Threw away the crutches, but brought back some tools to (hopefully) help me keep my house running smoothly.
As always, thanks for checking in!
Well, after some time of not using any lists or calendars at home, I discovered that my newfound freedom was resulting in a little too much not-getting-stuff-done.
And so, I brought back a few of my lists, just updated.
Chore List
Same list, used slightly differently.
I still mark down the date when I do a chore, just not every. single. time. Prevously, if I did 3 loads of laundry in a day, I would mark it down 3 times. Now I just write down the date. It really does help me keep on top of how long it's been since I've done certain chores, and helps me keep the house maintained.
Grocery List
After one too many times of arriving home only to realize what I'd forgotten at the store, and one to many times of not having the coupon I wanted to use, it was starting to stress me out to not have a list, just knowing how much time & money I was wasting by not being organized. So the grocery list is back.
Chore Schedule
This is new to me, and still in the testing phase. I struggle so much with keeping our house together, that I thought I'd try one of the many house cleaning schedules I've seen online. The only problem was that all the ones I found were clearly geared towards SAHMs. So I printed out 4 of the most popular, marked down what they had in common, and prioritized tasks. I came up with 4 daily & 2 optional chores for each day, and made a calendar. Seemed doable enough.
Not so much. Yet. I think it needs... tweaking. I used it for a month with very limited success, modified it a little, and it went a little better last month. I think I'll still work on it. If I ever get to where I feel it's a really good, easy-to-keep-up-with system, I'll share.
Meal Planning Calendar
This one is coming back next week, and is primarily the result of me trying not to eat out as much. The truth is there are actually times when we eat out either because I can't think of what we might have to eat at the house, or because we've run out of meals at the house. True story. So my meal planning calendar is coming back in an effort to help me prepare to eat in. I've changed it some from when I
So that's where I am. Threw away the crutches, but brought back some tools to (hopefully) help me keep my house running smoothly.
As always, thanks for checking in!
Friday, July 20, 2012
Bye Bye Hickory
In late June we had some bad storms & lost our biggest tree yet. Also the closest tree to the house that's come down yet. I was home. Not gonna lie, it was a little scary...
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