The Fog Lifted Today

Today was a good day. A happy day. The fog lifted today and I felt like myself for the first time in a long time.

And I think I'm ready to tell you all about it.

In my last post I mentioned that something happened last fall that rocked my world, and not in a good way.

Last October, the day after Homecoming for all my marching band friends, I began experiencing some... symptoms. Within a few days I realized I was pregnant. Unexpectedly, surprisingly, ridiculously, pregnant. I was 41 years old, with a history of infertility, on birth control, and pregnant.

But at our first doctor's visit they told us things weren't looking good, and there was only about a 50% chance of survival for my babies. I did, in fact, miscarry 10-week-old twins, but my body did not cooperate and on November 7, 2018 I had a D&C.

And I grieved. We were not planning on ever having more babies. If you would have asked me I would have said I didn't want any more children. But oh! My babies. How I wanted them after all! And so I grieved the loss of babies I never knew I ever wanted.

I have lived in a fog since then. I debated whether what I was experiencing was just part of the normal grieving process, after all I don't remember being like this after my other miscarriage. Maybe I was depressed? Maybe it was anxiety?

I don't know. Still don't. I know I haven't been myself since. Responsibilities fell to the wayside and I thought about quitting, well, just about everything.

Last year, because we had planned on doing much more traveling this past year, we signed the girls up for online homeschool and intentionally didn't sign up for any co-ops or community groups. The travel plan fell through, but I am so glad we'd done those things. So many days just getting them to sign in and listen to someone else teach felt like more work than I could do.

I'm still the VP of my Alumni Band, but I've scraped by this year, feeling like I'm doing the bare minimum for my office and I've debated resigning, for the good of the organization as well as myself, pretty regularly since last November.

I'm still the Team Manager for Jena's soccer team. I've missed deadlines, and squeaked in paperwork at the last minute more than once.

My house, always a struggle for me to keep tidy as I've mentioned many times before, reached probably the worst state it's ever been in.

Everything, everything, felt overwhelming. I don't know how to explain this in words, but absolutely everything was TOO MUCH. Leaving the house was a struggle. Every. Time. My kids asking to go the park was enough for me to feel it in my chest - the stress, the overwhelm. I have to do what? They want to go where? I can't do it! It's just too much!

Every little thing felt so big. Overwhelming was the only word I can think of to describe it. I didn't feel depressed. I can't even say I felt anxious. But overwhelmed. Everything was just TOO MUCH. The littlest thing - going to the park, or responding to an email, or sweeping the floor - anything and everything just absolutely overwhelmed me.

Then comes the reasoning. In my mind, I knew these were all small things. I knew I'd done all these things before. I hadn't taken on anything new, and in fact with the online homeschool and no community groups this year, I actually had less commitments than in the past. I felt like a failure. Sure, I was managing, but I wasn't managing well. I wasn't doing anything well. I was squeaking by in every area of my life.

Ugh. As I re-read what I just wrote I realize how inadequate it is to really explain what was going on inside me. I don't know how to explain it. I wish I could say it better.

But about a month or so ago, I started to feel a little better. And with it, I cautiously started doing more, worried I was making a mistake and wouldn't be able to cope.

I still felt completely overwhelmed and stressed out at the littlest thing, but I slowly started to purge things from our house. In the past few weeks I've given away, donated, or sold probably 20 or more boxes and bags of items. And probably thrown away at least as much. I've made a concentrated effort to work on tidying up and cleaning the house, and while we are far from where I'd like it to be (I'm still not inviting anyone over), it's the cleanest it's been in months. And I have to give a shout-out to my girls, especially Jena, who has joined in my efforts and helped me clean as well. Last month I went to a Symposium for college alumni bands, and this week kicked off registration for fall soccer.

But today... today... unexpectedly, unexplainedly, without notice... the fog lifted.

I feel like myself again. It was a good day. It was a happy day. Not because anything in particular happened, but from the moment I woke up I could feel the difference in myself.

Now like anyone who's struggled with depression, or anxiety, or whatever-this-was, I am well aware that the fog could show up again tomorrow, or next week, or maybe it'll hold off for a year, or maybe just maybe it'll stay gone forever.

But I've enjoyed today. I'm looking forward to many more days. I'm looking forward to getting caught up on a to-do list that desperately needs my attention, and yes, even cleaning my house. I took my girls out to a restaurant and two stores today, and you know what? None of it felt overwhelming. Or stressful. It felt good, and happy, and I enjoyed it.

I don't really know where I'm going with this. Mostly I just wanted to tell someone. So... as always, thanks for checking in!

I Need to Miss Them Sometimes

When I worked full time outside of the home I missed Jena every day. Every day I hated dropping her off at preschool and every day I counted the hours till I picked her up. I felt guilty for not being with her, for not spending my days with her. I planned short outings to squeeze in our precious time between work & preschool and bedtime. We didn't have much time together, but I tried very hard to make it quality time. I missed her. All the time.

Now, the picture is very different. Now, I stay home with my children. I even homeschool them. We are, generally speaking, together 24/7. Even when Jena participates in activities, I am there. Watching, cheering, encouraging, parenting, waiting... I'm always there. We're together. All the time.

And I love being with my kids. I find it hard to imagine sending them off to school 6+ hours a day five days a week. My heart aches at the thought of not being with them for such a huge amount of time.

I love it... and I don't.

You see, I find myself needing just the smallest bit of space. It comes on me at some point almost every day. Perhaps it's because I'm an introvert, and alone time refreshes me. Perhaps it's something else in my personality. Or maybe it's just something we all need sometimes.

I find myself eager for "rest time / quiet play". Eager for bedtime. Giddy when someone actually watches them for me for a few hours.

And then, of course, I feel guilty for feeling relieved to have some time to myself, some space.

I love it... and I don't.

It used to be that if Jason & I went away by ourselves that I missed Jena terribly, I could barely stand to be without her. The truth is that now when we get rare nights to ourselves, I don't miss my kids. My heart doesn't ache. Not for a few days anyway. Oh sure, it comes eventually. But that familiar ache used to hit as we drove away. Literally just a few miles down the road. Now it takes a few days before it sets in.

I know it makes sense, to a point. But I don't know that I like it.

I need to miss them sometimes.

I need a chance to feel that ache, to want to spend time with them. Really want to, really miss it. I need an opportunity to look forward to the time with my kids, instead of it just being part of my everyday routine.

I miss missing them.

I need to miss them sometimes.

She Rises While it is Yet Night

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Not being a morning person, it doesn't sound very appealing to me. I'd much rather stay up late at night to get things done, then get up early in the morning.

But then again, this is biblical (Proverbs 31:15). And so, I've been giving this a try. I can't say I've been totally successful at it, but I have managed to get up before the girls most days.

And you know what? It's kinda nice. Unless one of them gets up especially early, I usually get to have my breakfast in peace, walk the dogs, throw in a load of laundry, and mentally prepare for school that day before either of them gets up. Dare I say it? Being intentional about waking up early is actually kinda nice.

Not being a morning person, I tend to be a little grumpy when I first wake up. Both of my daughters have also inherited this trait. But you know what makes it a little easier? If I manage to get up early, take care of a few things around the house, have my breakfast, and just settle myself, center myself, well, it really helps me to be calm and handle their grumpiness a little bit better.

It's also really nice to get a start on that day's to-do list. Getting even just one or two chores knocked out before my kids even wake up just mentally eases the burden for the rest of the day.

Now, realistically I don't think I'll ever truly be a morning person. But I can see where there are benefits to the idea of getting a really early start to the day.

What about you? Do you wake up early? Sleep in? What have you found that works for you?

As always, thanks for checking in!

I am so ready for the workday to be over

It's 5:15pm and I am so ready for the workday to be over. It's been one of those days. Stress at every turn, difficult coworkers, menial work that feels overwhelming because of the stresses of the workplace. I'm tired, frustrated, and about to go over the edge. But at least it's 5:15pm.

I am unbelievably ready to wrap up what I'm working on, walk out the door, get in the car and drive. Sure, wherever I go will have its own responsibilities with different people to deal with, but with any luck maybe those people will be in a good mood and tonight will end on a relaxing note.

But I can't walk out the door. Because I don't work outside the home anymore. I stay home and homeschool our children. So at 5:15pm, even though I've already been fully on the job for 10 hours, I have at least four more to go, and that's if the kids actually go to bed on time and stay there. More often than not with my three year old lately I'll be looking at another six hours, minimum.

No drive by myself, listening to music to help me unwind. No change of scenery. No heading out to see if the next group of people in my life will be in a better mood. Nope. This is it.

It's been a rough day. Meltdowns, tantrums, tears, yelling, frustration, blatant disobedience and disrespect. All day.

I'm not saying there weren't good moments, because there were. But interspersed throughout the day, all day, many, many times were these moments, these difficult moments. These stressful, frustrating moments. I have yelled more times than I care to admit. It was a hard day.

But I can't pack up my desk and leave, and hope things will be better at home. This is my home, and my workplace. So I have a choice to make.

I can choose to focus on the negative, be a pessimist, and let it bring me down, which will continue to spiral my daughters' adverse behavior, or I can choose to try to see the positive in the day, be an optimist, force a smile on my face, and try to pick my girls up and make their day better. I'm the leader here. It's up to me to at least try to turn things around.

So I gather the supplies for a craft, get everything set up, tell the girls we'll do a craft. They're excited. They love crafts. This will be fun.

After reminding Jena that she needs to follow instructions or the craft won't turn out right, she yells at me that I'm ruining her art by making her follow directions and breaks down in tears because I "ruined" her project.

We take a break, but eventually finish. But no ones very excited about the craft anymore. And I'm starting to wonder why I bother.

Now it's time for dinner. I decide to make a new recipe, but one that is simple and kinda fun and I'm absolutely sure both girls will like. Jena refuses to admit that it's good, instead telling me everything that's wrong with it. But she takes a second helping. And a third.

Sometimes you can't help another person's bad mood. You can try. And especially for the ones you love, and the ones you're living with, you should. But ultimately it is all up to them. They have to decide to look at the bright side for themselves.

Dinner is over. The run baths for each girl in turn. They get into their pajamas, brush their teeth, get into bed.

It is now 11:45pm. Jillian is still awake. She just called me into her room a few minutes ago. The fourth time she's been out of bed, that I know of.

When you're a mom there is no end to your work day. Even when the kids aren't directly demanding my attention, I'm tending to housework, or school planning, or cooking, or pet care, or, or, or... The list goes on and on. And it doesn't matter if you work outside the home or stay home. The only difference is when you work outside the home you get a change of scenery, a break from one set of responsibilities, even if it is quickly replaced with another set.

I've done both. I was a mom who worked outside the home for six years, and now I've been a stay at home / homschooling mom for three years. They are equally demanding, equally stressful, just in different ways. I'm not going to lie, there are days when I think back longingly on my days as a working mom. Days when I have to remind myself how many years I spent wanting this, praying for the opportunity to stay home with my family. Days when I have to remind myself of the stresses of working outside the home. Today was definitely one of those days.

The truth is I miss working outside the home more than I ever thought I would. And while I was never one of those people who thought being a SAHM was an easy job, I definitely underestimated how difficult it can be at times. And then I decided to add homeschooling to the mix, LOL. I had no idea what I was in for! Despite all that, I remain convinced that for our family, at this moment in time, me staying home and homeschooling our children is the absolute best choice for us. I have to remind myself of that at times like today, but it is the truth.

So here's to all you working moms, wherever you call your "office". Keep your focus on what's best for your family, on why you do what you do, and keep on pushing through those hard days. There's a good day right around the corner. Promise.

As always, thanks for checking in.

Preschool: Learning Letters

Now that Jillian is 3 years old, we've started more formal lessons for her in our homeschool. Many of them revolve around letter recognition and spelling her name.

Last week I came up with a simple, but effective lesson that she loved. I took out a piece of colored construction paper, wrote a capital "J" (for Jillian) on it in black marker, then gave her the paper and some small stickers. I asked her to carefully follow the lines of the "J" with the stickers. I have to say, I was impressed with how neatly she did it.

Jillian loved this activity so much, that we've continued with each of the letters of her name. Her attention span only lasts for about the time to do one letter, so we've been doing on each day.

This post contains affiliate links. This does not impact your price but I do get a small commission for any items purchased through these links. As always, thank you for your continued support of Everyday Nothings.

What are some fun ways you've taught your kids their letters?

We're Getting a Homeschool Room!

We are finishing up our third year of homeschooling, and thus far have done our daily lessons at the dining room table, and even added a cabinet in the dining room to hold school supplies. Well, as the years have passed and we have gradually added more and more books & supplies, we are quickly outgrowing the dining room. Especially now that Jillian has started her own preschool lessons, space is at a premium.

One day, as I was lamenting my need for more bookshelves, my brother texted me asking if I wanted free bookshelves! Seriously. (I call that a God moment). You see, he & his wife are downsizing, and needed to get rid of some larger items. Like bookshelves. We ended up getting two bookshelves and a small desk from them! Bingo. But now... where to put them.

Enter our family room. It hasn't gotten much use in the six years we've lived in the house. In the winter we use the functional wood-burning fireplace as a heat source, making it less than ideal for small children to play in, and uncomfortable for the rest of us. So, a room not very functional for almost half the year ended up being a space for junk storage.

Well, now that much of Jason's winter is spent putting up Christmas lights for our family business, he has less & less time for things like cutting & stacking firewood. In fact, last winter we didn't light the fire one time. Not once. We talked about the reasonableness of not using the fireplace for heat in the future, and agreed that while it's a great financial savings to have free heat, the combination of the time it takes to cut & stack wood, along with the prospect of being able to turn it into a functional school room, led us to agree to not burn fires there any longer, and make the change.

Well, a few weeks before the bookshelf incident, I had decided we needed to purge some of our "junk" and had already begun the process. So the room was already in the process of being emptied out. When I knew the furniture was coming, I started an effort to completely clean out the room, as well as paint the walls. I'm so excited at how it's coming along.

Jena helped out painting the first coat

I think the new color, a light gray, is really going to brighten & open up the room. Once we get the new furniture in and the room set up, I think it's going to be a really nice space for the girls and I to have our lessons. And we'll have a functional space instead of wasted space.

First section of the room painted & drying. I'm loving the new lighter color!

Unfortunately I have to paint & prepare the room in phases, due to lack of time and need to parent small children. Some of you know what I mean. It would be nice to do all at once and be done, but bit-by-bit will be just fine and I'm still super-excited for the final product. I can't wait to show it to you!

As always, thanks for checking in!

Girl Scouts, and Homeschooling, and Soccer, oh my!

I'm trying to find Jena a new Girl Scout troop, as her current troop is dissolving at the end of this year.

Jena in her Brownie uniform. She's a Junior now, but quite frankly I love this picture.

I don't really care if it's a homeschool troop, as hers currently is, but... it kinda has to be. With her playing (and loving) soccer, plus other family obligations, we currently only have two nights at home most of the year. I'm not willing to give those up in order to add another activity that just keeps us busy.

So... I kinda need it to be a homeschool troop, because I need one that meets during the day on a weekday. Apparently we may be the only such troop in the area, because so far I've had no luck, and I've stretched my search to an hour drive in all directions. Still no luck.

We like Girl Scouts, but I need to have a heart-to-heart with Jena about just how much she loves it. Because right now it looks like my only option might be to start our own troop, and I'm not about to do that unless this is an activity that Jena is really wanting to continue. It's a big commitment for us to make as a family if she's not 100% into it. So we shall see.

Homeschooling is going well. We're behind a bit from where I would like to be in the curriculum, mostly due to my health issues. I've had five surgical procedures since October. That puts a damper on our schooling schedule.

First day of Preschool and 3rd grade, respectively.

Thank goodness last year I made the decision to school year round. Our school year runs July 1 - June 30, and somehow, even with all the "breaks" we've had, we only need 21 more school days to satisfy the state requirements. Praise the Lord! And we have more than 3 months to get those days in! I don't know how we managed it, because quite frankly it feels like we hardly ever school, but I keep record of everything she does, and numbers don't lie. Even though we do school year-round, meaning we won't stop just because we meet the state minimum, it is still a huge relief to know that we are more than on target to meet it.

I will say that one thing that has also helped is that this year we joined Classical Conversations. The community days provided Jena with one day of school each week, even when I was out of commission. The director and Jena's tutor were very gracious in working with us (parents are supposed to remain on campus) and allowed Jason to drop Jena off in the mornings when I could not attend and pick her up when he took a break for lunch (our session ends right around lunch time). We didn't plan on things like this when we started, but it really ended up being a God-send.

Back to soccer for a minute. I'll be honest, I really never pictured Jena as a soccer player. But she wanted to try a couple of years ago, so we signed her up for the YMCA league. And... she loved it. And... she loved being goalie.

Not an action shot, but I love this pic of her.

Fast forward to now, and she plays in a recreational league Spring & Fall and a select league for indoor soccer during the winter. Currently she's her team's only goal keeper, although the coach plans to rectify that once spring practices start, which is any day now. Actually they were supposed to start last week, but have all been cancelled thus far due to crappy weather.

Anyway, I am proud to say that Jena is not only the only goal keeper currently, she's a super star. She may very well be the best goalie in her age group in our entire area. She started this season of select soccer with three shutouts in a row. Stopped 100% of shots on goal. We haven't started keeping stats yet, but I'd say her average is well in the 90% range. Her last game her team played an opponent that was in an older league, and played a much more physical and aggressive game than our girls are used to. Jena stopped 23 of 26 shots on goal. I even heard several of the opposing team's parents commenting on how good our goal keeper was. Yep. That's my girl.

Oh, and because anytime Jena has a high number of stops I hear this comment, I'm gonna go ahead and say that her defense did not let her down. Those girls worked hard and get credit for keeping even more shots coming her way. This was an older team that played a tough game.

Anyway, we haven't started keeping stats yet, because, well... she's 8 years old. But she has asked us to. She heard us (and her coach, and other parents...) using the word "shutout" after those first few games, and decided she did want us to keep track. Jason and I are toying with the idea of keeping track starting with Spring season, not only because she wants us to, but also because if she decides this is something she wants to continue to pursue, knowing how to do it and do it well will serve us well in the future, so figuring it out and practicing keeping track now may be a good idea. You know me, I'm a planner, LOL.

My only hesitation is that she is still very young, and while I know she has a competitive spirit, I want her focus to remain on having fun. I don't ever want it to get so competitive that it ruins the fun for her. On the other hand, since she does have a naturally competitive spirit, she may think it's more fun. Who knows.

So that's what keeps us busy most days. I don't know what we're going to do once Jillian adds her own activities into the mix!

As always, thanks for checking in!

Jena Sings the U.S. Presidents (2016)

Because it's cute. Jena at age 7 singing the Presidents. This was in 2016, so President Obama was still in office, in case you're wondering why it ends the way it does.

I don't know about you, but I'm impressed. She knows them better than I do!

Kids Update

Well, here I am. Fall schedules are in full swing.

We started with Classical Conversations this year. and go to community on Tuesday mornings. Soccer practice Tuesday & Friday evenings. Gymnastics class Wednesday afternoons. Soccer games on Saturday mornings.

It's busy, but doable.

We recently got Jena's results from the Iowa Test of Basic Skills. To summarize:
    - age wise she should have just started 2nd grade
    - grade wise she just started 3rd grade
    - her composite grade level equivalent is 4.4, with all of her stanines in the 8 - 9 level, and her NPR in the 95-99 percentile for all subjects

She is excelling in soccer. She was a star goalkeeper last season, and this season she has just continued to improve. In addition, she has started playing as striker a bit and has done fairly well in that position as well. Her coach has made several comments about how much she has improved on the field since last season. Jena loves the sport, and as much as she enjoys striker, goalkeeper is what makes her smile.

We also started her in gymnastics over the summer. She had been asking to do it for a while, then her pediatrician recommended it because she is a bit delayed in her gross (and fine) motor development, so we decided to go ahead, despite the added cost & expense. I have to say, it has been well worth it. Her motor skills have already improved greatly, and I honestly attribute much of her improvement in soccer to her ability to this improvement. She has more control over her body's movements, just in general, and several extended family members have commented on it. As an added bonus she loves gymnastics as well, and has made it her goal to make the gym's competitive team. As a result she spends a lot of her free time in the front yard working on her skills.

I have to say, I have been quite impressed with my little 7 year old's dedication to excelling in both sports, and the work she has put in on her own to that end.

We've only had two weeks of Classical Conversations so far, but so far I am quite impressed. The facts she is learning, the manner in which it is presented, the fact that she enjoys learning history, geography, & science; it's been quite nice. Science has always been the subject that I felt least able to teach well, and not only do they learn facts, but they do an experiment each week on community day, so that is a huge load off. Jena enjoys the way they present facts so much that she took it upon herself to memorize all the U.S. Presidents using their songs, and has already succeeded!

I started doing one preschool lesson each day with Jillian as well, and she already knows most of her colors and maybe half of her letters. Numbers are a bit of a struggle. She is still essentially non-verbal, but I have a feeling a language explosion is right around the corner, as she's added 3 words to her vocabulary in the past week.

I think that's about the only major updates for now. Hope all is well with all of you! As always, thanks for checking in!

Working on Fall Schedules

I've been working on our schedule for Fall. I think I've about got it figured out.

This past year was a bit... chaotic. Homeschooling a 7 year old, herding a toddler, participating in various groups, taking community classes, Girl Scouts, soccer... it was all a bit much, and a bit crazy. We did a lot of great things, but I'm really hoping to have a more consistent schedule this school year, and am trying to do the legwork now to set us up for success later.

Jillian is napping more consistently now, and is down to one nap per day, so that will help immensely. She's also a tad less needy now that she's 2 years old, than she was at 1 year old. So here's hoping.
I thought I had it down to where Monday thru Wednesday we should be home all day, and Thursdays & Fridays well be out in the morning, back in the afternoon (for Jillian's nap), then if needed out for evening activities. If I can actually pull this off it might just be amazing, but so far it's not exactly working out.

I really thought I was on the ball, doing my Fall scheduling so early (in my mind). Nope. One activity is already at capacity. My only option is Mondays. Another is also at capacity. Only option is changing to a location twice as far away and is on Tuesdays. So right now we're out of the house Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday. That sounds like insanity to me, and is very similar to the situation we were in this year, which is a main reason I wanted to try to set up a consistent schedule now.

We're on a waiting list for the desired activities / times, so here's hoping an opening comes up before Fall.

What about you? Any other homeschool moms have their fall schedules done yet? What about managing with a toddler in the mix?

Hello!

Well, hello there!

What can I tell you? So much, yet so little has happened in the past two months since I've written.

Jena is doing extremely well in 2nd grade. As you may remember we are homeschooling her. My biggest struggle right now is keeping her challenged and engaged. I think I've mentioned on here before that she is gifted, and it seems like I am constantly being shown exactly how intellectually gifted she is.

By her age, she should be in 1st grade. She is instead flying thru 2nd grade. We attended a co-op during the Fall, but even even at a 2nd grade level, she was so far ahead of what was being taught that it basically ended up being purely social for her. That, combined with how hard the day was on Jillian (and consequently myself), and we decided to pull out of the co-op for next session.

Most recently I let Jena test ahead (again) in Language Arts and Arithmetic. She was able to skip 22 lessons before she got less than an "A" on the test. Twenty two. Just over a month's worth. Just blazed thru it.

Her only struggle area is handwriting, but she has improved massively since last year. It's like something just "clicked" this year, most likely her fine motor skills, LOL.

She does do enrichment classes at a local education center once per week, lots of science & art mostly. That definitely helps.

For those with curriculum / educational philosophy knowledge, we have been doing a traditional curriculum for Language Arts & Arithmetic, with Social Studies & Science being more unit studies. I'm starting to look at integrating more classical education philosophies / activities into our schooling, as I think how she learns may lean more that way. We'll see how it goes. One of the lovely things about homeschooling is that we can tailor what & how we teach to our children's needs as we go along.

Which reminds me, I need to adjust our science teaching a bit, since she recently told me that she now wants to be an engineer when she grows up, so she "can design & build machines". Truth be told, we've been saying since she was itty bitty that she would make an excellent engineer, just by the way she looked at the world. I suppose only time will tell.

Jillian (now 20 months) is growing like a weed. Recently started escaping her crib, though not regularly. Another growth spurt though and we're in trouble. She finally started walking at around 18 months. That, combined with a couple of other seemingly minor issues, and I'm beginning to wonder if she has joint issues, specifically hypermobility. Her pediatrician checked her hips & knees at her 15 mo check up because of her delayed walking and said everything looked okay, but I'm considering seeing a specialist just to make sure. My niece has EDS (Ehlers Danlos Syndrome), and didn't get properly diagnosed until she suffered a dislocation of both knees at age 15. My sister has said they wish they'd known earlier because they could have been more careful and while they couldn't prevent the condition itself, they could have helped keep her from being in so much pain & discomfort, especially in the 2+ years she was dealing with back & joint pain before getting a proper diagnosis.

Our family business is doing very well, as evidenced by the fact that I am still a SAHM, LOL. I am so proud of Jason and the work he has done to make the business such a success. Speaking of, right now he is in Mexico on a mission trip, so please pray for his and the team's safety.

I suppose that's about it for now. Thanks for checking in.

One Day: What I Do

So a few weeks ago I had someone (who shall remain nameless) come into my home and suggest that it looked like I did "nothing" all day. Essentially meaning my house was a mess.

I'm not gonna lie. It is.

But I do far from nothing. I go, go, go all day every day. I stay up late. I'm exhausted. So, even though I know they'll probably never read this, I thought just for my own edification, I'd track, just for one day, exactly what I do.

Here is what I did on one random Saturday. This did not count the four hours we took to make an impromptu visit to the fire house to visit Jason. So a relatively normal day, minus four hours of a special activity. This only counts what was done at the house.

******************

- washed & dried six loads of laundry
- folded & put away four loads of laundry
- let the dogs out four times
- changed three diapers
- prepared three feedings for Jillian
- prepared a meal or snack for Jena three times
- put a kid to bed three times
- bathed two kids
- fed Jillian twice
- prepared two baths
- checked the refrigerator for spoiled / outdated food
- cleaned out kitty litter
- fixed Jena's hair for the day
- helped Jena clean up a large amount of spilled water
- instructed Jena in homeschool session (approximately 2.5 hours)
- made our bed
- set clothing out for each of us
- sterilized bottles
- stocked diaper bag
- straightened up the entryway
- swept the entryway floor
- tended to a sick child
- tended to the wart on Jena's foot
- washed cloth diapers
- washed cloth diaper inserts
- washed dishes

*******************

Maybe I just have unrealistic expectations, but considering I was gone for four hours, and an additional 2.5 hours was spent homeschooling, I think this list indicates someone being pretty productive. Far from someone who did "nothing".

Granted, very little of that had to do with cleaning or organizing my home. But very much of that had to do with taking care of my children's immediate needs, and much of the rest had to do with keeping our household running.

I'm trying to get my house clean & organized. I really am. Quite frankly, I'm completely embarrassed by it. But I'm also not sure what more I can do at this point. I may blog about that later.

Well, that's about all for now. Sorry I haven't blogged much lately.  Lots going on. I'll try to do an update post soon.

As always, thanks for checking in!

2014 Recap

* I originally wrote this in January, but apparently never hit "publish", so here goes*

So a quick recap of 2014:

March:
- Jason's business kicked off it's 2nd season


April:
- my employer announced that it will be closing the Kentucky location within the next 3 years and all jobs will be relocated. Mine specifically is going to Michigan.

May:
- Miss Jillian was born
- Miss Jena graduated from Kindergarten
- my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary

July:
- we made a decision regarding both my job and Jena's education

August:
- after more than 10 years with my employer, I resigned my position

September:
- we began homeschooling Jena

October:
- our family's first trip to Disney World
- a trip to Chicago

November:
- Jason expands his business to include Christmas light installation (residential & commercial)

December:
- holidays (need I say more)

Socialization? Really?

** disclaimer: while we decided that we felt homeschooling was the right decision for our family at this time, I truly believe that there is no one "right" answer for educating your children, and each family must decide for themselves which route is best for their children, be it public school, private school, or homeschooling. They are all equally valid options **

I was recently approached by someone close to me regarding the fact that we are homeschooling Jena. They were asking how she was doing, what was she learning, did she like it. They seemed genuinely impressed at what she was learning, and shocked that she liked "school".

Why?

Because all four children in their family, ranging from Kindergarten thru 4th grade, all attending public school, ALL of them hate going to school. Dread it. Can't stand it. Hate school.

They find it odd, they said. Usually you hear of one kid hating school. Or one kid loving school. And most kids somewhere in between. But all four of them HATE it, and they're looking for answers, so they decided to question me about homeschooling.

So, by his own admission, all four of the children in his family absolutely HATE school. I think we can all agree that if you dislike something that much, you probably aren't doing your best work or reaching your full potential either.

In his frustration with their current school situation, he chooses to approach me to ask questions about homeschool. Seems impressed with what she is learning and how she is doing, and especially with the fact that she LIKES school and learning.

So of course let's argue that my daughter's not getting properly socialized {{ head desk }}

He brought it up gently, as if he were genuinely concerned for Jena. I pointed out all the different activities Jena was currently participating in with her peers:

- Sunday School (coed, all 1st graders, includes children of several different racial / ethnic backgrounds)
- Girl Scouts (all girls, K thru 3rd grade, includes girls of several different racial / ethnic backgrounds)
- play group (coed, age 5 thru 10 [with younger siblings in tow], includes children of several different racial / ethnic backgrounds)
- gym class (coed, age 5 thru 10, includes children with autism, sensory issues, etc)
- science class (coed, age 5 thru 10)

While there is some crossover, each group is a different set of kids with which Jena is building relationships.

He told me that was all well & good, but it's no the same as spending all day every day with the same friends who are all these same age as you.

{{blink, blink, blink}}

He's right. Attending five different activities with five different sets of kids, building friendships with kids in a wider age range is not the same as spending six hours a day, five days a week with the exact same kids, who are all in the same grade, approximately the same age.

I attended public school. While we didn't choose it for Jena at this time, we do still believe it is a viable option. But do not preach to me about how it is a great way to socialize your kids.

Besides, I personally am not making education decisions for my children based on their social life. There are plenty of other opportunities for them to make friends and socialize. I don't have to compromise their education to do so.

Your kids hate school. They aren't doing as well as they could because of it. You're impressed with what my homeschooled child is doing academically. And the ONLY argument you can come up with against it is socialization? Really? Sit down.