Coping with a husband being gone so much

** I originally posted on this topic back in 2011 when I was working full time outside the home. This is updated to add some notes now that I have a couple of years of experience as a stay-at-home and homeschooling mom and my children are older. **


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As a fire wife, one of the struggles is being home alone. A lot. Feeling like a single mom. A lot.

In fact, I have a whole new respect for single moms. And for military wives / moms. Because I know how hard it is with as much as Jason is gone, and I can't imagine being on my own all the time, or until he came home on leave.

It's important that you voice your frustrations to him. Not in a I'm-pissed-at-you-way, but in a I'm-frustrated-and-I'm-struggling-way.
He needs to know what you're going thru.

This is also a good time to ask him what his frustrations are with his schedule. Like missing out on kids' milestones, not playing with them as much, not enough date nights with you, etc.

It's important that the two of you at least try to understand where both of you are coming from, because you are both in very different positions.

You're not in the normal two-income family, where both parents leave in the morning, and both parents come home every night, Monday thru Friday.

You're not the normal one-income family, where he leaves in the morning and comes home every night. Depending on shifts and second jobs he's gone 24-48 hours at a stretch, or sometimes longer.

He's spending nights away from home, having dinner, spending time, and sleeping with other people, while you take care of the kids and the house by yourself after putting in a full day of work.

He doesn't have a "weekend", as his shift includes Saturdays and Sundays. He'll work holidays too, leaving you to handle the celebrations alone. He will miss your daughter's soccer games, even though they're on Saturdays. He will miss a lot of family events thru the years.

This creates stress and frustrations for each of you, but you each have a different kind of frustration.
He has the frustration of not being there, and you have the frustration of being there alone. It's very different, so you must communicate.

The fact is that being in a situation where your spouse is gone much of the time, well... it sucks. It just does.

As far as taking care of the children, and the house:

Things became much simpler for me when I just took Jason out of the equation, when it comes to taking care of the house and the kids.

You just do it yourself. If you need a sitter for some reason, you take care of arranging it, and you do what you need to do. You do all the daycare drop-offs and pick-ups, even if he's home. You plan on doing all of the housework, even if it's his off day. You handle all of the feedings, all of the baths. You feed all the pets, clean all of the poop (pet & baby - ha!). You get everyone dressed in the mornings, get everyone ready to go. Even if he's there.

Keep him in the loop on everything, but just accept it as what you have to do so he can do what he has to do.

This has really helped me / us. It doesn't make the actual work any easier, but it eases a lot of frustration because I don't feel I'm counting on him to do something that he's just not going to do.

And then when he does volunteer to take care of something, it's like a bonus. For everyone.

And that lowers everyone's stress level.

At the same time, you need to realize & accept that you can't do everything. Prioritize what's most important. Obviously taking care of your child(ren) is a must, but other housework, chores, etc.... prioritize, and do the top things first, even if they're inconvenient or unpleasant.

Give it some time & figure out what you can reasonably do in a day, a week, etc. Then talk to your husband and see if he can pick up some of the rest. If not, or if he's not sure, factor him out of the equation.

If that's just not a possibility, then your choices are paying someone to do it (ie. housework), or it just not getting done (ie. housework), or not getting done as frequently as you'd like (ie. housework).

Guess you can tell what doesn't get done at our house, huh?  (ie. housework - ha!)

And you both have to accept that. Because it's reality.

You can't beat yourself up because after working a full day outside the home, or spending hours each day schooling your children, taking care of the kid(s) by yourself, and the putting another couple of hours of housework in before bed, you're still not "done".

You will never be "done".

He can't come home expecting a clean & tidy house, perfectly stocked cupboard, and dinner on the table after you've been working full days outside of the home, or homeschooled the children, doing all (or the vast majority) of the childcare yourself, and all (or the vast majority) of the housework yourself.

It's not physically possible. It's just not.

Oh, you might have a mountaintop moment once in a while, but it's unreasonable for either of you to expect things to be maintained at that level.

And for all the SAHMs out there, one thing I figured out really quickly since becoming a SAHM is this little secret that those who work outside the home don't get (or at least I didn't, and I still think my husband doesn't):

If the kids are home all day, not in school, or pre-school, or in daycare, or wherever, then that means they have more time to make messes in the home. I totally did not grasp that until I started staying home. When I worked, sure messes happened, things were untidy, but the waking time that Jena was home was limited, therefore messes were limited. This is not the case when you all stay home every day. Not. At. All.

## side note - I determined my top priorities to be: laundry, grocery shopping, and doing the dishes. I figured if I could keep clean clothes on my family, food for them to eat, and clean dishes for them to eat off of, then I was doing pretty well. The rest I look at as bonus. ##

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As far as scheduling goes, we share a Google Calendar, that I can access at home or on phone, and he can access on his phone as well. This has helped immensely when it comes to scheduling even the little things.

I can see when is shifts are (because even though they are every 3rd day, like clockwork, I still cannot keep that straight in my head), when he has extra things to do, when he has jobs for the family business, etc.
He can see when I've made plans and he needs to be home. In fact, now that we have a family business, there are often days that I block his calendar so he or his brother don't schedule him work. I only do this if I really & truly need him to be available, or if we've discussed it and he's agreed. This is important. He can trust me to only block his schedule when I absolutely need him, and I can trust him to honor my requests in his schedule.


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He's doing what he feels he needs to do to provide for his family financially, and even if he might be willing to look at another career path eventually, well, it's not going to happen overnight.

So you just have to come to terms within yourself with the reality of your situation, as it is at this moment, and deal with it in the best way you can.

You make it work. You do what you need to do, and you make it work for your family.

It's not fun. It's not glamourous. It sucks. And sometimes it really, really sucks.

But you do it. You make it work.

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And there it is. My advice on how to handle your husband being gone so much.

Thanks for reading! And hopefully this will help someone out there get a handle on things! Does anyone have any advice to add?

List of Gratitude

If I'm being honest, I've been struggling a lot lately with a lack of gratitude. Well, more precisely I guess you could call it envy. I've watched as some of the people in my circle seem to be getting all of the things I long for. Sometimes it is so precisely exactly what I was wanting, that I almost want to accuse them of doing it just to spite me. Which is ridiculous.

So in an effort to help refocus my mind on what I do have, instead of what I do not, I've decided to do a gratitude post. Enjoy!

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I am thankful for:

my husband So many years I spent thinking I would never find anyone to love me (not forever, anyway), that I would possibly never be married, yet here I am. Married for 6 years now to my best friend.

my daughter She is the incarnation of every dream I ever had about motherhood. She is the fulfillment of my calling, my reason for existence. She amazes me every day.

our home I've always wanted to own land. Our little ranch house on 5.5 acres is perfect. Sure, I'd like to develop it some more: a barn, fencing, etc. But it's the living area I always dreamed of having.

our critters I can't imagine myself without sharing my life with some of God's creatures. Three dogs, two cats, and 10 chickens are enough. For now. I am thankful that none of us have allergies that prevent us from having these wonderful companions in our lives.

my family I am blessed to come from a large extended family, and can't imagine my life any other way. We gather religiously at every holiday, often in gatherings of 50 or more people. They are an amazing group, and a source of strength in my life.

my job While sometimes I lament not being a SAHM, the truth is I like my job. I work with people I genuinely care about, I've learned a multitude of new skills, I'm respected in certain circles, there is opportunity for broadening my horizons. Add to that decent pay and amazing benefits and I have truly been blessed in this area.

our church Our church is amazing. The outreach to the community, the opportunities to serve, the teachings, the friendships... we have gained so much by joining this particular house of worship.

our finances While things could certainly be better, and they have, we are doing okay. We can pay all of our bills, and even have a little left over. Plus we have some in savings. All in all, we're doing well.

social media I end on the medium that brought me to blogging: social media. I started blogging via MySpace, and eventually expanded to a "real" blog. I've met friends thru blogging that turned into real life friends, I've reconnected with old friends via MySpace & Facebook, I've met friends via message boards, and shared my thoughts on Twitter. Social media has been good for me.

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Please pray for me to continue to turn my mindset around. And as always, thanks for checking in!

About Me (a meme)

1) What were you doing 10 years ago?
Working as a medical receptionist for a dermatologist, sending resumes out like crazy. Loved the work, the patients, and my co-workers, but the office manager was just awful and I had finally had enough.

Single. Living with my parents.

Still in pain daily from my accident.

2) What are five things on your to-do list?
Well, this is rather boring.

- buy new toilet brush
- affix mirror decoration in bathroom
- wash dishes
- clean kitty litter
- empty trash

3) What are five snacks you enjoy?
- peanut butter & apples (even better when you're finishing the ones your daughter left behind)
- popsicles
- Kettle Chips
seriously racking my brain here... I try hard not to snack...
- Grippo's Barbecue Chips
- peanut M&Ms

4) Name some things you would do if you were a millionaire.

Give it away!

Seriously, one of Jason's fears is if we were ever wealthy I'd give too much away, LOL.

Pay off bills, obviously.

And travel. We love to travel, and our travel bucket list is quite long.

5) Name some places you have lived.
Ohio
Kentucky

6) Name some bad habits that you have
I'm a bad procrastinator.

And the past few (like 10 or so) years I've constantly & consistently late. Drives Jason nuts. I think psychologically something must've happened, because I used to always be the early one. Not anymore. Someone come analyze me, LOL.

7) Name some jobs you have had
dishwasher
library associate
medical receptionist
bedding associate
accounts receivable clerk

the list could go on.... I guess when you count part-time and short-term, I've had a lot of jobs...

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this post inspired by this post

Giving it to God

So, you know that financial goal that we're supposed to meet before we start trying? Well, we met it a bit ago.

Ta da!

So now, the big question is exactly when do we TTC? Obviously we didn't rip my Patch off that night, LOL.

I have some other medical stuff going on right now, so current thinking is we'll wait to see how that goes.

We also have a couple of family & relationship milestones coming up, so we've tossed around the idea of waiting until one of those. I guess the idea is it would make it more meaningful.

Although as I type that out it sounds stupid. How much more meaningful than attempting to create life can you get?

And the truth is that we're both nervous. Really nervous. Scared, even.

Jason won't say it, but I think he has a lot of the same fears that I do - will my PPD come back? anxiety? will our marriage weather another child?. I think he also worries about money more than I do. While I don't believe in being stupid, we're in a good position, have met several financial goals, are on the right track, and so... God will provide. I'm definitely much more of a "God will provide" mindset.

The other night I had a moment of doubt. A moment of fear, really. Can I do this? Can we do this?I mean, I'm happy. Ridiculously happy. I adore Jena. I don't ever want anyone (especially her) to think this comes from some place of thinking that she wasn't enough for me. Our family dynamic is good. Financially we are in a great place with only one child. We can give her the world. Having another might change that.

And as all these second thoughts, and fears, and doubts were running thru my mind, I also felt that familiar tug, that pull at my heart telling me our family is not yet complete.

And so, I gave it up.

I talked with God for a bit.

I believe in my heart that there is someone missing from our family. That has not changed over the course of several years. And so, in the near future we will stop our birth control. And give it to God. I asked him that if my heart is correct, and there is someone missing, that He will send us our child. And if not, then not. After all, He is ultimately in control. I told God that if He does bless us with another child, then I will trust His decision, that we can handle this, that everything will be okay, and that He will guide us thru any troubles that might come.

And if He does not see fit to grant us another child, then I will accept that as well. If it takes five years, if it never happens, I will leave it to Him. He knows best. His timing is best.

I am not saying I will not be sad, or disappointed, or confused, if we aren't blessed with another child, simply that I will dwell with peace in my heart, because I have given it to God. He is in control. Not me. Not us. Him.

There probably isn't a "right" answer

Jena's preschool had their rates posted by the door yesterday. I glanced quickly, and figured out how much it would cost if we had a 2nd child.

Assuming they were there at the same time, it would be over 75% of my paycheck. And our daycare expenses are subsidized as a benefit to employees. It's actually pretty cheap, especially considering the quality of the facility and the caliber of the preschool.

I shouldn't be surprised. I remember when I was pregnant w/ Jena, before I qualified for the work daycare, and before we knew what our child care arrangement would be, I priced out a few day cares in the area. No matter which way we went, just for her, would cost us over 90% of my paycheck back then.

Ouch.

And that got me thinking. With the financial goals we've been moving toward, we've discussed me becoming a SAHM after #2 comes, or possibly reducing hours to part-time.

Which got me thinking even more... would I be willing to continue working another 6+ years if we didn't financially need my income, in order for baby #2 to be able to go thru this preschool?

I waver.

We have been over-the-moon impressed with the preschool program. And it is, in fact, cheaper than any other preschool we've looked at, and much cheaper than any school of this caliber.

But how many times have I thought that I could be a better mom to Jena if I didn't have to work? That's not likely to change.

I know we don't need a decision any time soon, and I still haven't even approached HR w/ the discussion of part-time benefits, and there's always the possibility that we'll face a financial setback and I'll still need to work, but still... this has been on my mind lately.

Stay working so I can send baby to a fantastic preschool? or stop working so I can stay home and devote myself to my family & home?

Honestly, I think the reason this is so difficult is because there probably isn't a "right" answer. Either choice will be good in its own right. Either choice will require a different sacrifice.

Apprehension is normal, right?

Eeek! It's getting closer! Quite frankly, it makes me really nervous.

The milestone we want to achieve before TTC is a financial one. And thanks to Dave Ramsey, it keeps getting closer & closer. The way things are right this very minute, we'd start trying in just a few short months.

But... because we're doing so well on the program, making extra payments, etc... it's likely to be even closer than that.
Eeek

We talked about it over the weekend. We both have concerns because our marital problems did start soon after Jena was born. Will another child be another stressor to our lives that we have difficulty overcoming? Both individually and together?

I worry about being able to handle another child, considering I currently do 95% of the childcare, and 90% of what-little-housework-manages-to-get-done.

Of course, we both worry about how Jena will adapt to not getting all of the attention, not only from us, but from grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc (she's the 1st grandbaby on my side, and the only one in town - and the 1st girl born on Jason's side in 2 generations, and the only child under the age of 15). Let's just say she may not be spoiled in material goods, or lack of structure/discipline, but she is definitely spoiled when it comes to the amount of undivided attention she gets.

If I'm being honest, I do go back & forth.

Between my brain... and my heart.

Because in my heart I do not feel like our family is complete just yet. I feel like there is somethingone missing.

I don't want to make any stupid decisions, but at the same time I don't want to end up at 50 yrs old, deciding NOW we can handle it, still feeling this ache in my heart, only now it's too late.

I think it is time. And I imagine most of our apprehension is normal. Right?

Anyway, we did toy with the idea of waiting a bit longer to start TTC, even if we reach our financial milestone before then. My reasons are heart-reasons. Jason's reasons are mind-reasons. Typical, I know, LOL.

In the meantime, I'm preparing. I go for my yearly at the Ob soon, and will be discussing it with him, including anything I might possibly be able to do to avoid the difficult L&D experience of last time. I plan to bring up the idea of a scheduled C-section. Although not usually a fan, I do understand that there's a chance that will be the safest route for me & (hopefully future) baby.

I've quit my endocrine meds cold turkey, due to side effects. I don't see him again until next month to discuss alternative treatment options. Honestly though, as long as my endocrine levels remain normalized, I'd be okay with not going back on anything, especially considering we may TTC in the near future (the meds I was on I would have to quite a full 60 days prior to TTC to avoid birth defects & other complications).

We even gone so far as to discuss whether or not Jena would attend school while I'm on maternity leave. I say 'yes'. First of all, to give me some time to adjust to baby #2, and secondly because she won't really be in "pre"school anymore. She'll be at least in kindergarten, and that would be a lot of time to miss from "regular" school.

We've also discussed the financial impact. How this time we can start saving as soon as we TTC, or before, how we have a better idea of what to expect (not just financially either!), how our new insurance actually covers more maternity costs, how since I'm now a permanent employee I can get paid short-term-disability, etc, etc, etc. We were in a pretty good place financially before. But this time we will be in a much better financial place.

So much so that I should be able to take a full 12-week maternity leave without serious repercussions to our budget.

Which is good, because I'm planning to. Six weeks may be enough for most some, but it definitely was not for me. And no, not in a I-don't-wanna-leave-my-baby way, but in a medical- and emotional- preparation way, due to medical complications & Post Partum Depression. I'd rather plan for 12 weeks off, not need it all, and end up with some extra home-with-baby time, then plan for 6 weeks, then end up needing more time, like happened before.

So I guess... that's where we are right now. A bit long, I know, but thanks for checking in!

It means a WHOLE lot

Last night we reviewed our monthly budget.

The financial targets we (Jason, LOL) want to hit before TTC are on schedule to occur within the year.

In fact, with some funds we are expecting to receive in the next few months, it may be in nine months or less.

This makes Jason nervous, LOL.

Me too, actually.

We briefly discussed what we would do to prepare financially once we TTC. Minimum of 10 months to build up additional savings (prior to that we will be hammering down debt).

We also briefly discussed the feasibility of me staying home after #2 (hopefully) comes.

I'm not gonna lie... as excited as I am at the prospect of adding to our family, I'm also very anxious. But with regards to our marriage, the fact that Jason is talking about having another child... well, sometimes I think him being willing to discuss it actually means more to me than the fact that he said 'yes'.

Just knowing that he was open enough to the idea to listen to me, to strongly consider something I wanted so badly, without just dismissing it without consideration... yeah, that means a whole lot.

And the fact that he's come around? Well that's just awesome.

Thanks for checking in.

I'm Mad at a Luxury Vehicle

I'm in a funk. Actually, I'm really irritated about something. Something stupid. But I haven't been able to shake it, so I'm writing about it here in hopes to get it out of my system.

One of my co-workers bought a new Lexus. And it ticks me off.

For no reason at all. I mean, why should I be in a funk because someone else bought a car? Makes no sense, right? Exactly! That's why I have to get it out my system. Hence, the writing.

This is not an unusual development. Stuff like this happens all the time. So maybe it's just a straw-broke-the-camel's-back sort of thing.

For the past nine years, I've worked with people who make (in my perspective) a lot of money. Co-workers just one level above me make about what Jason & I make combined. And it increases the higher on the totem pole you get. Understandably.

And since I work with a lot of men, this means that with few exceptions, their wives are all stay-at-home-moms. Most of them live in nice houses in nice subdivisions and drive nice cars. They wear name brand clothing (Polo Ralph Lauren seems to be the brand of choice). They go on vacations that are on my "dream" list. With few exception they all belong to a gym. The children attend private schools and take dance / gymnastic / karate classes at expensive private studios. Many of them have cleaning ladies that come weekly. Because I am friends with several of the wives, I know that they shop for... whatever... pretty much whenever they feel like it, with little worry for the budget. They buy ridiculously expensive dogs from "breeders". They pay for doggy day care. The list goes on & on.

And for the first time, possibly in my life, this bothers me (see camel-back reference above). I don't know why it bothers me, I can't even tell you how it bothers me. I wouldn't classify it as jealousy (the obvious answer), or resentment, or... anything but just being irritable about the whole thing.

I have worked with these people for nine years. I like them. We are friends. Some of them I consider almost as extended family. I know their wives & children. We hang out. They are nice to me.

But when I pulled up to my co-worker's house, and saw the brand new Lexus SUV sitting there, it pissed me off. I knew he was trading in his vehicle. I kind of assumed maybe for a minivan, since they recently had another child. But a luxury SUV?

I think in a way it's a feeling of being left out. Maybe.

Because in my group, in the 50 people sitting nearest to me, I am the only one not at this financial level. Sometimes it feels like an exclusive club to which I will never belong.

I don't want to come across like I'm whining, although maybe I am. It's just... like I said it's like they all belong to this club that I just can't get into. When it comes to anything financially speaking, we just can't relate to one another. Nine years later, this is one area that we cannot connect thru.

At best, I stand there and smile during their conversations, pretending like I know what it's like to have problems like "having" to replace all the furniture in your house because you moved into your brand new custom built giant house and now nothing "goes".

At worst, I've actually manage to end conversations by saying things like how we altered travel plans because of the high gas prices. Why? Because this would never occur to them. And now they feel bad. And then I feel bad for making them feel bad. And... insert awkward silence until someone has the presence of mind to change the subject.

And I don't want it to seem like I think they don't deserve it, or anything. I am not a punish-the-rich type of gal. I'm happy for them. I'm glad that they have that type of financial freedom. I know them personally, so I know that they've worked for it. Hard. They've gone thru add'l schooling, all of them have bachelor's degrees, many of them have their masters. They put in long hours. They spend numerous nights away from their families. They have earned every dime.

I just... I just feel like an outsider whenever these things come up, and I'm tired of it, and Jason & I work hard too, and maybe I want to buy a luxury vehicle without sacrificing our mortgage payment or not have to argue about whether or not we can afford the YMCA or maybe I freakin' wanna be able to buy one stinkin' outfit without worrying that I'm busting our budget!

I'm sorry. This is such a long & rambling post. Maybe I thought about deleting it. Maybe I decided I won't because surely someone else out there can relate. Maybe I think everyone can relate at some point in time, not necessarily about the money issue, but about another way they feel like an outsider and they can't break thru and it just gets to be too much.

So that's my long rambling post about being mad at a luxury vehicle. Thanks for checking in.

Basic Economics

So... I just saw something about boycotting Papa Johns because they have stated they will need to increase the cost of a pizza approximately $0.15 to cover the increased healthcare costs imposed on them by Obamacare.

Um... is it really not common knowledge that when a company incurs additional expense, wherever it comes from, that it is relayed on to the consumer?

Gas prices rise = prices went up. High rates of theft = prices go up. Raw materials goods increase in price = price of final goods go up. Manpower costs increase (including health care coverage) = prices go up.

I don't understand why the surprise & outrage from people who supported Obamacare. Did they really not think this thru? Not even this very simple result of the legislation?

I mean, this is pretty basic economics. The money has to come from somewhere. In order for the companies to remain profitable & competitive, they must increase prices.

Entitled

"There are 47 percent of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47 percent who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it -- that that's an entitlement. And the government should give it to them. And they will vote for this president no matter what. ... These are people who pay no income tax. ... [M]y job is not to worry about those people. I'll never convince them they should take personal responsibility and care for their lives." -- Mitt Romney

The statistic is accurate. 47% of Americans pay no income tax, yet receive government assistance.

I have no problem with most of this quote. The last line could have been stated a little more eloquently.

Because the fact is that roughly 5% of Americans are on disability (ie. have been determined by a medical professional as unable to work).

So let's lower that number to 42%, 'kay?

Another 10% are elderly. So let's lower down to 32%.

Another 7% work, but bring home less than $20k. So let's lower some more down to 25%.

That seems more reasonable to me. Including from my own experience.

One-fourth of our population pays no income tax, but believes they are entitled to government benefits.

While his statement could have been stated a bit more... tastefully... the point behind the statement stands. A large portion of our citizens have grown to rely on the government for things they could provide themselves, but don't. They believe they are entitled to certain provisions, and honestly don't understand why they should pay for them, when the government will. I've heard them argue this point with my own ears.

I know people who work just long enough to qualify for their unemployment checks again, pretend to look for work each month so they can keep drawing them, get the checks till they run out, then work another month or so. Just long enough to get back on the taxpayer's payroll.

I know people who get ticked off when the government cuts off their benefits, because what are they supposed to do now?!? (hint: get a job).

I know people who get their hair & nails done, wear name brand clothing, smoke a pack a day, then complain that their government stipend doesn't cover their living expenses.

I know people who take their food stamps and do their grocery shopping at the local gas station, paying incredibly inflated prices for junk, because they don't want to walk another block to the grocery store.

I can tell you that after my car accident I was told by several doctors that I "more than qualified" to be on disability (government paid, taxpayer paid, disability) - yet I was always able to work, and in fact during that time often worked more than one job. So how many of that 5% do you think are, in fact, truly disabled? truly unable to work?

I can tell you that when I finally had to declare bankruptcy due to medical bills, and attended my government-mandated financial counseling, the counselor told me he was shocked at how frugally I had been living. After all, I had been "entitled" (his actual word) to things like cable, having my hair & nails done, eating out, entertainment, etc.

Entitled.

The fact is that our government does have programs that were originally intended to help those truly in need, but which over time have somehow evolved into providing aid not only to those in need, but to those with entitled mentalities. It's the truth. It is.

How you can have a system that tells able-bodied people they're entitled to disability, tells poverty-stricken people they are entitled to luxuries like cable, professional hair appointments, manicures, and the like, tells people that they are entitled to use their food stamps to buy food that is of little to no nutritional quality, that they are entitled to work the minimum amount required by law and never recognize the pattern of abusing they system... how these things can continue to happen over & over again, how these entitlements can continue to expand, how our taxpayer system can become more & more strained...

I just don't understand how this can continue to happen. How can we Americans continue to be okay with it? How can we call requests for reform unsympathetic?

Entitled.

Maybe you like these entitlements. Whether you're currently using them or not.

Maybe you think I've just had a lot of bad experiences, been surrounded by the rare exceptions. Maybe you're right.

But we all have to base our opinions based in part by our life experiences, and unfortunately my life experiences have been full of entitled laziness. Friends. Family. Neighbors. And I'm sick of it. I'm tired of trying to ignore my friends' complaints about how the system doesn't give them enough, while she tells me her latest scheme for abusing my tax dollars.

I'm tired of it.

If you're okay with living in a country that entitles people to be lazy & spoiled, then fine. But I'm just not.

I get what Mr. Romney was trying to say. Could he have said it better? Sure. But then again, I'm sure I could have written this post better in some way as well. I'm sure every one of you has at some point in your life said or done something that came out differently than you'd intended. It happens. And while I haven't yet decided who is getting my vote, I'm not going to count him out because of one minor miscommunication. Not when the overall point stands so well.

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I acknowledge that this post rambled a bit, and got longer than I'd anticipated. If you got this far, thanks for hanging in there. And as always, thanks for checking in!

Blessings

Physical Blessings:

1) No serious medical issues yet this year
2) My back is stable (not worsening)
3) Jason is healthy & strong as ever
4) Jena is healthy & growing well
5) All the pets are relatively healthy


Financial Blessings:

1) We can feed & clothe our family, and pay our mortgage
2) We have good benefits, including affordable health coverage
3)  Our car is almost paid off
4) We are on target to be debt free (excepting the house) within 2 years max
5) We can afford a few extras


Mental Blessings

1) My issues with depression & anxiety appear to be (mostly) over
2) So far I see no signs that my PPD will lead into Clinical Depression
3) My job is providing me with enough challenges to stretch me, but not enough to stress me
4) Jena has tested above her age group in all developmental milestones
5) I haven't had writer's block in months


Spiritual Blessings

1) Mine & my husband's salvation
2) So many answered prayers & visible miracles
3) Continued growth in the Lord
4) Finding my "fit" in our church home
5) Spiritual battles won


Answered Prayer

1) TheBoy's miraculous recovery
2) Continued growth & healing in our marriage
3) Promises fulfilled
4) Safety for Jason on the job
5) Unspoken


Today's Blessings

1) We all woke up this morning (and healthy too!)
2) We both have jobs to go to
3) My parents watching Jena
4) We can talk during the day
5) Phone call from a friend

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this post inspired by this post

Looks like I'm getting new eyes!

Okay, not literally new eyes. But I am having Lasik eye surgery next month.

After 27 years in corrective lenses of some sort, I'm taking the plunge. I had my consult last week, including a follow-up test to my left eye, and have been approved for the surgery.

In the doctor's words, I'm a very good candidate. Apparently my eyes are very healthy (despite being legally blind), and my cornea is thick (apparently most people who are declined are for the reason that they have a thin cornea. who knew?).

The cost is a bit much ($4400), but my insurance gives us a 15% discount (bringing it down to $3740). When you consider the fact that I now spend roughly $400/year on care related to corrective lenses (exam co-pays, contact lenses, glasses, contact solution, eye drops, etc)... well, it should pay for itself in less than 10 years. And when you factor in the issues with wearing corrective lenses (scuba diving, anyone?), we decided it was more than worth it (I figure my family & I have already spent roughly $10,000 on my eyes since I was first told I needed glasses!).

In fact, Jason's been trying to talk me into it probably since we got together.

But I'm a little wary of someone messing with my eyes, so... I procrastinated.

But, it's time.

As always, thanks for checking in!

Randoms

I could really use some more work clothes. With my weight / size fluctuating so much for the past FOUR YEARS (since my pregnancy), I've hesitated to buy entire wardrobes at each size. But I am so tired of having limited clothing choices.

Right now I have 3 pairs of pants I can wear to work, plus 1 skirt. That's not even a work week. I can't tell you how many times I've done laundry simply because I was out of work clothes.

And my work clothes pretty much double as my church clothes, so... 4 bottoms for 6 days. Ugh.

Also - all but 2 of my work shirts are short sleeved. Mostly because it was summer when I bought them, but also if it's cold I can put a jacket on in the office. It's cold in my office every day. Ugh.

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related to above - I'm still losing weight, albeit slowly, but I really think I might be at my end size. I am currently 4 lbs above my wedding weight, and 10 lbs below my pre-pregancy weight, but hardly any of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit. Very, very few.

I think my body shape has just changed so much. I'd probably have to lose another 20 lbs to fit into them, and even then it would be iffy, LOL.

Which means I might not meet my goal of fitting into my wedding dress again this year, which totally sucks. Booo!

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Work has been a roller coaster of emotions lately. Example? Sure.

Last week I have two managers, including my direct supervisor, tell me that one of my largest single projects "doesn't matter".

Morale = plummeting

Today I had a Vice President ask me to teach him something. Later he asked my opinion about a division project, and said he will act on my suggestions because I am the expert in that area.

Morale = skyrocketing

Just two small examples. But it's been like that for a month or so. Roller coaster. Seems like every day. Stress.

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We have way too many vehicles at our house. Five to be exact. For two drivers. Ridiculous.

To be fair, a breakdown:

- the ILs truck, which has been broken down for months, and Jason has thus far been unable to fix. I want to declare it dead & tell them to get it off our property, but... they're his parents & they want him to fix it, so... it stays. For now.

- Jason's work van for his business

- the SUV, our newest (by model year) & most reliable, which is driven by whomever-has-Jena (primarily me)

- my old car, which we planned to sell for a decent amount of $$ (13 yrs old, and blue book was still over $3,000)... until it broke down. FireMan would like to fix it, because we'll get so much more $$ out of the sale, but... I don't like have broken down vehicles around the house.

- the new (to us) car Jason bought off of CraigsList, with the intention of it replacing my old car

I know we live in the country, but I really don't wanna be those redneck hillbillies with 63 broken down vehicles scattered around the property.

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I'm getting my hair cut next week. I can't decide how to do it. I don't really care for it shorter.

Well, not that I don't like it, I just liked it better longer.

But everyone else seems to like it shorter. Everyone.
I hear "you look younger" a lot.

So I can't decide if I should keep it short, or just start growing it out.

Either way, I have decided the shape needs a change. It was great right when I first got it cut, but after just a week or so what little it had grown out I really didn't like.

Who knows, maybe just getting a different shaping to it will help me to like it better.

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We're doing crazy-good with our Financial Peace plan.

Every. Single. Month when we sit down to do our finances, we're like
"we can't believe we've paid off this much!"
"we can't believe how much money we have to pay down bills!"

Every month. Same conversation.

Needless to say, I highly recommend the program.

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We're taking the membership class at our church, er... the church we've been going to regularly for over three years.

I know, right? Three years. Definitely not rushing into anything, but we finally decided we should become members.

We actually decided this a while back, but they only offer the class every six months, and the last one we weren't able to attend due to FireMan's shift schedule.

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For anyone not familiar with a membership class (I wasn't until my mid-20s), they review what the church's core beliefs are, core values, what they teach, etc. and give you a chance to ask questions.

At our old church it was one night.

Here it's three nights, spread over several weeks.

At the end you decide whether or not to join.

Not anticipating any issues, but it would kinda stink to find out thru this class that they believed in something that I didn't, after going there for over three years.

We had reasons for waiting. Or rather, reasons for not making it a priority.

But oh boy do I hope that doesn't happen, because that would most likely create some tension between FireMan & myself, because he loves this church, while I could easily walk away.

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I recently schedule a consult for Lasik eye surgery.

The idea of it makes me very nervous (hence the years-long procrastination), but the consult is scheduled.

Just that makes me nervous. They said just the consult will take 2-3 hours, and they'll be dilating my eyes more than is done at regular appointments, so I won't be able to see well for "several hours" afterward, and will need someone to drive me home.

Wowsa.

Soon Enough

I feel like I've been saying this a lot lately.

To FireGirl, who can't wait to be all grown up (already!), when she asks to do something, and I assure her that she will be able to, soon enough.

To a few people, whose current struggles are so familiar to me, when I assure them that this too shall pass, soon enough.

To myself and FireMan, as we pay off debt, as I try to remind us that we will get there, soon enough.

And yes, to myself, when I look at so many things I want to do, then remember the importance of balance, and keep in mind that it will come, soon enough.

It's such a funny phrase: soon enough.

A contradiction of sorts, but containing all kinds of truth.

The words themselves contain both eager anticipation for what is to come, with contentment with where you are now.

Soon enough

In many ways, it's profound.

Soon = before long; in the near future
Enough = adequate for the want or need; sufficient for the purpose or desire

Wow.

It will happen before long, sufficient for the purpose, adequate for the need.

Soon enough.

I think it's something we all struggle with at times, realizing that our timing is not God's timing is not life's timing. Realizing that just because we want something now, doesn't mean that having it now is sufficient for the purpose. Realizing that sometimes it is in waiting that we discover what truly is adequate for our need.

Soon enough.

Such a small, simple phrase yet so big in meaning.

My Venture into Direct Selling

So, I've mentioned in a couple of posts how I decided to try a new activity that would hopefully add a tiny bit of income as well.

That's right, I became a direct seller.

Specifically, I became a consultant for ThirtyOne.

If you're not familiar with ThirtyOne, they sell purses, totes, & storage items via in-home parties. Their name comes from Proverb 31 , the description of the virtuous woman who not only takes care of her home, but also takes things to market & provides income for her family.

I've been buying their products for years, and loved them. Honestly, they cost a little more than I would normally pay, but besides being cute I found their quality to be outstanding, so didn't mind shelling out a few extra dollars for a good quality product.

After about three years as a customer, I decided to talk to my consultant about becoming a consultant myself.

The rest is history.

This is the first time I'd ever done any direct selling business. I never joined ranks with the likes of Pampered Chef, Tupperware, or Mary Kay like many of my friends & family did.

But this was different. It was a product I knew, a company I already believed in, and... well, the low startup cost didn't hurt either.

So... how's it going?

Not as well as I'd hoped.

First of all, like any of these types of endeavours, you get more out of it the more you put into it. And already having a full-time job & struggling to find balance in my personal life... didn't leave me much time.

But FireMan was really supportive, and I had a high-level of interest, so I went for it.

A little too strong maybe.

I offered some incentives out of my own pocket to entice my first few hostesses. And I did get some bookings from that, but barely made enough commission from the parties to cover the incentives I was giving the hostesses.

Overall, right now, I am finally making a profit. After five months. And it ain't much.

But that was my fault, not the company's. Let's be clear about that. A misjudgement on my part.

There's also the fact that in my area, there are sooooo many consultants right now.
I personally know of 12.
I've had quite a few people who I invited to parties or asked if they'd want to host one tell me things like: "I would, but I've already been to six parties in the past four months". And that's a direct quote.
I did a vendor booth at an outdoor event. Mine was one of three ThirtyOne booths.
I had a friend who tried to get me booked as a vendor at a MOPS event, but they already had five ThirtyOne booths booked.

The fact is when you have that many consultants in one area, you're creating an overlap in your potential customer base.

It does say something for how successful the company has been. They've grown by leaps & bounds over the past year or so.

And I hear that the farther out West you go, the fewer consultants there are available. For example, my sister in Iowa had never even heard of the company until I told her what I was doing.

But I digress...

For me, an introvert with a strong heart for customer service, direct selling is incredibly stressful.

Being an introvert means that just being around groups of people tends to wear on me. Yes, even when I'm having fun at a ThirtyOne party.

So now picture putting that person in front of a group of people. I actually enjoy doing the parties, but they do wear. me. out. I come home after a couple of hours at a party I enjoyed more exhausted than after 8+ hours at a job I could take or leave.

I've had two customers that had problems w/ their orders. Okay, one created her own problem, but... being the customer-service oriented person that I am, I stressed about making her happy.

Can I stress the word "stressed"?

I know this isn't gonna make much sense to some of you, but my point is that as much as I enjoy direct-selling, it also really stresses me out.

So now I'm at a crossroads. There's so much of it that I really enjoy, including the parties, and I even enjoyed sitting at a vendor booth for 10 hours in the heat. No lie, I really did. But there's also those parts that stress me out, like the whole interacting with people thing. So I'm at a point where I'm trying to decide if I enjoy it enough to make it worth the stress that I feel.

At this point, I think I really need to point out that my stress comes from my introvert nature, and my social anxiety. It's a me issue, not an issue with ThirtyOne as a company. Basically, introverts probably have no business selling anything, and people with social anxiety have no business presenting items to a group of strangers.

And how something I enjoy can stress me out so much, I have no idea. It's a paradox, I suppose.

I've already agreed to donate an item & a portion of profits to a non-profit fundraiser in February, and have a family member who wants to have a party in March, so I guess I don't need an answer before March.

We shall see...

What about you guys? Have you ever tried direct-selling? How'd it work out for you?

Update on Financial Peace

So, as I told you earlier, we're taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University thru our church.

And things are going very well.

Baby Step 1: $1000 emergency fund is complete. That wasn't too difficult, since we still had some in our regular savings, but we opened up a separate account at my work's credit union specifically for our emergency fund, added to our savings, and... done.

We felt like having it in a different account, at this small credit union, makes it a little less accessible. Still available at any time if we need to get it, just not as convenient as having it at the same big-name bank as the rest of our accounts.

Baby Step 2: pay off all consumer debt (except the house) is well under way. We've paid off our TV (old one damaged beyond repair in the move) and our couch & loveseat (old ones literally falling apart) a few months earlier than we thought we'd be able too.We have two more small debts remaining before we start tackling the big guns.

Jason has been picking up some overtime at the firehouse temporarily to give us some extra $$ to put towards our debt. With the recent holidays, plus various hunting seasons in the late Autumn, there have been plenty of guys looking for someone to cover a shift.
The double-shifts are tough on all of us (when he does a double he's gone around 58 hours at a stretch, home for 12 hours, then gone again), but we feel good knowing that it's temporary and is putting our family in a much better position financially.

I've also been able to bring in a few extra dollars, but not much. Overtime has been denied by my boss repeatedly, and a second job isn't really feasible, especially with Jason working overnight. Someone does have to stay home with Jena, you know.

I have to admit, I hate doing our monthly budget. But I like the results. Because Jason's income varies slightly depending on how his shifts fall, we budgeted low for our regular income, then we make a plan for where any additional income will go.

For November, the top three were Christmas, Car Insurance (so we can save $100+ by paying in one lump sum), and our lowest credit card bill.

After initial Christmas shopping, I told Jason I would really like to increase our Christmas budget if we can, so for December our #1 was again Christmas, followed by the building fund at our church, then our lowest bills.

Not sure Dave would agree totally, but we're in agreement as a couple, so that's good.

Since November's our only complete month, I can tell you we actually came in under budget (our regular, low-estimate income). We were shocked. But it allowed us to make an extra payment towards our debt. Yay!

December the only area I'm a little worried about is gas. We came in under in November, but we have no control over the price, and with the holidays we've done more driving than usual. I'm quite sure we didn't budget enough.

One thing that is super-sweet is that when we did our initial budget for November, Jason refused to take out me getting my hair done (cut + color), even though I had. I eventually convinced him I was okay with it, and insisted that we had more important things to budget for right now.
Then in December he said maybe we should take part of our snowball from paying of our first two debts, and let me get my hair done. I told him 'no', that we had more important things to do, and I would eventually be able to get it done again. That I'm okay with it. He said he just thought I probably wanted to get it done before the holidays.

It just took me by surprise that he's thinking of me, and wanting to put money aside for me to get my hair done! Major brownie points there, Jason!

Besides our monthly budget meetings to set up the budget for the next month, we also decided to have weekly budget meetings. I think for us, with us being apart so much on a regular basis, these checkpoints are important to keep us on top of things. Especially since we have to split our allotted funds to accommodate him being at the fire house and me being here.

Oh, and our Christmas lists were really boring this year

We had a few practical items on our lists, things we actually need / could use (ironing board cover for me, new jeans for him, wall mount for the TV for the family), plus lots of gift cards (Kroger, Walmart, Home Depot, Lowe's, etc). The idea behind the gift cards being that either we can pay for the next home renovation project, or that we can use them to buy groceries, then use our grocery money for that month to make an extra payment towards our debt.

Even Jena's list is boring. She kept asking for clothes & shoes! Geez! The girl's only three and she wanted clothes for Christmas! Part of me feels bad for "only" getting her clothes & shoes, but she did just have a birthday, plus that's what she asked for (yes, we got her a few toys & books as well, but mostly clothes, since that's what she wants).

Anyway, just wanted to update you on how we're doing, and the answer is... great! Thanks for checking in!

Friday Fragments

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Felt like it was time for another Fragments post, so here it is, ya'll.

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Like every December, life has been crazy busy this past month. Busy, but good. Very good.

I met up with 4 different friends I hadn't seen in a while (on 4 separate occasions), we've had 3 classes, 3 Christmas parties, 1 playdate, 1 band concert, 1 date night, 1 cookie swap, 1 doctor appointment, 1 holiday breakfast, got our family pictures taken, went to a Christmas tree lighting, and went to Southern Lights.

If you add it all up, that's 19 different activities, and it's only the 23rd of the month. There was some overlap on dates, for better or worse.

And that, of course, doesn't include our normal craziness. That's just special holiday craziness, LOL

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Jena is still doing very well in school, and has started learning to write (tracing letters). I'm still very impressed     :)

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Potty training still not doing any better. In fact, she's had a few more daytime accidents. I do a lot of laundry.

I started a rule that she has to go 2 nights dry in UnderJams, then she can wear panties to bed. That at least gives me some respite. Plus she gets better sleep because she's not waking up wet.

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The chickens are now outside. Their tractor is wrapped in plastic sheeting to keep out the elements. And we extended the invisible fence wire around them to teach the dogs to leave them alone.

And something (a raccoon?) has already been trying to get to them, and broke the wire in 3 places trying to dig underneath the coop.

Thank goodness for Buddy, or we might have lost some chickens.

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I want to break Jena of her lovey while I'm off between Christmas & New Years. Jason thinks we should wait until the lovey falls apart and deal with it then.

Part of me thinks he's right.

Part of me thinks when it is time, he's not the one who will be up with her overnight, and then have to try to go to work the next day.

I'm torn.

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Still working our way thru FPU, and things are going really well. We've paid off two smaller bills (the TV & the living room furniture) sooner than planned, and should pay off two more smaller bills (the hospital bill & my Lane Bryant charge) by the end of this month.

Oh, and while this was the first year we actually set a real budget for Christmas (and tracked it), we're actually gonna end up being under budget, so we've decided to buy small presents for each of our six nieces & nephews, which we don't normally do, and we should still end up under budget. Yay us!

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Work is going pretty well, minus the database project that never ends, but I'm expecting an increase to my stress-level the first few months of the new year.

And maybe most or all of 2012.

So I'm a little anxious / nervous about work right now.

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As always, thanks for checking in!

Have a great weekend!

Holiday Organization

As a member of the BlogHer Life Well Lived Panel, I was selected to answer the following question:

The holidays make me so anxious! How can I stay organized this year?

Honestly, my initial reaction was: They obviously have never seen my house.

But then I thought about  it. Really thought about it. And it hit me.

Holy management, Batman,  I am organized.

After all, it's not necessarily about organizing stuff., items, things.

I mean, it seems like for me, managing the holidays boils down to managing two things:

Time and Money

Actually, now that I think about it, managing the rest of the year kinda boils down to those two things too, doesn't it?

So, for me, the best way to stay organized during the crazy rush of activities & wallet-emptying gift-giving during the holiday season is to find ways to effectively manage time and money.

To organize our time, FireMan & I use GoogleCalendar. There are several other group calendars available to use as well, and I've always been a fan of good ole' Franklin Covey planners, but with FireMan being away from the house so much, we needed something we could both access at pretty much any time.

Enter GoogleCalendar.

And as far as organizing money goes, ya'll know we've been taking Financial Peace University, and one of their teachings is the home budget. We not only created a budget, we actually stick to it. To help us do this we schedule weekly budget meetings for ourselves (via GoogleCalendar, ha!) and have a weekly checkup on where we are financially.

This is the first year we ever set an actual budget for Christmas, and I cannot tell you how much it alleviates your anxiety to realize that you're coming in under budget for the holidays.

No more guessing, no more wondering if you can afford that extra present. We're under budget. And we've gotten pretty much everything we were planning on getting, with a few exceptions, none of which should get us anywhere near the edge of our budget.

Do we have bins for Christmas decorations? Sure. Do we have family traditions to keep up with? Sort of.
But for me nothing has helped ease the stress of this holiday season as having my time & money organized with the calendar & budget we put in place earlier this year. Maintaining both of those items just creates a sense of order amid all the holiday chaos.

So what about you guys?
How do you use organization to ward-off holiday anxiety?

Should you comment here? Sure, I love comments!

Should you answer in the comment section of the Life Well Lived Blog Post? Of course! Especially since while you're there you can enter to win the $250 sweepstakes. And couldn't we all use some extra $$ to ease our money management woes?

Happy Holidays!

Dave Ramsey Got Me Scared

FireMan & I started taking the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University course thru our church.

FireMan was on shift, so I went to the first class alone.

And I can't stop thinking about it.

Not so much the class itself, or (to be honest), anything Dave Ramsey said on the tape DVD (whatever, I'm old). But something that was said in the discussion we had afterward.

One of the core teachings of the class is to have a substantial emergency savings for you / your family. During discussion, we were discussing what a true "emergency" means.

Of course, people immediately started talking about medical bills.

As they talked, I started to get physically ill thinking back to everything I went thru after my accident in 2002. Not just physically, but what that did to me financially.

I had the realization long ago, that had it not been for my supportive family, I probably would have ended up on the streets.

At one point I was seeing eight different doctors. That means eight different doctor bills. Plus the emergency room bills (because you know if you make one visit to the ER, you'll get like five different bills, right?). Plus prescription meds.

And let's not forget my car was totalled (I managed to drive it for another year - some parts literally held together with duct tape - before it actually died).

I missed work, unpaid. But not quite enough to file for short-term disability.

My health insurance wouldn't cover it, because I was injured in a car accident.

My car insurance decided to fight my claim, so I had to hire a lawyer.

Thank God I lived with my parents at the time (something I lamented at the time, but later saw as part of God's plan. Maybe I should tell that story on here someday).

And sitting in that class, my stomach completely sank when the gentleman leading the class said:

"Okay, many of you are bringing up medical bills, so obviously it's happened for several of you. Now think for a minute... what if that happened again, right now? What would you do (financially)?"

I seriously wanted to puke.

FireMan and I have a little savings. We have good equity in our house. We have things we could sell to get money.

But... honestly? If something like my accident happened to one (or God forbid, both) of us right this minute? Where we were seeing eight different doctors, none of our insurance would pay it, our vehicle was totalled, we were missing work unpaid, etc... Oh.... my.... goodness.

The thought of it literally sickens me.

The chance of that happening? I'd like to say slim-to-none. But then again, it happened to me. One thing Dave Ramsey explains in his philosophy of saving for an emergency is that the unexpected isn't really unexpected.

These things do happen. People get sick. Accidents happen. People lose jobs. It happens. To say it's unexpected, really just shows how much time we spend living in a fantasy world where these things don't happen. Because they do.

The good part of this? I'm excited about saving.

Now... we're just starting Step 1: Have $1000 in your emergency fund, but I'm already thinking ahead to Step 3: Have 3-6 months of expenses in your emergency fund.

Can you imagine having 6 months of expenses in your emergency fund?
And then, because I am also baby stepping my way to stockpiling via coupon savings, can you imagine having 6 months of expenses in your emergency fund, plus 6 months of food & toiletries in your stockpile?

What a comfort that would be. Combining the two you would surely have 8 - 9 months of a cushion, should someone lose a job. And what a security net should there be an accident, illness, or other unexpected occurrence.

I can't stop thinking about it.

So much so that I've thought about cancelling our upcoming trip to save the $$. Except some of our reservations are non-refundable. So... I'd rather get something out of it, then not go and lose both the money and the reservation, ya know?

Besides, I really think this upcoming trip is going to be very beneficial to our marriage, which is an even better investment than money.

So... what's your savings situation? Have you taken Dave Ramsey? Thoughts?

As always, thanks for checking in!

Friday Fragments

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I've been on a huge writing kick, which is awesome, but I kinda feel like I've neglected keeping ya'll updated on some issues, so let's do it in a Friday Fragments post, 'kay?

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Jena is now 3 years old, and is finally settling in to her new classroom at preschool. She resists change (like her momma), and still wants me to watch her for a few minutes, and occasionally cries, and always pouts, but drop offs no longer take 30 minutes, nor do they consist of the staff literally ripping my daughter off of my person while she screams bloody murder and sobs about wanting her mommy, so... I consider that as going well.

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I am really impressed with the curriculum in her new class. They teach reading via phonics, and she's already beginning some basic math concepts. Very impressed.

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Potty training has regressed, and I'm at a loss. After washing way-too-many loads of sheets, comforters, and the like, I finally gave in and bought some Pampers UnderJams for bedtime. Mostly because I was getting too far behind on our regular laundry trying to keep up with the pee laundry so our house wouldn't smell like urine and Jena would have clean bedding to sleep on.

The vast majority of her accidents are at night (every night), with rare accidents during the daytime.

Sometimes I wonder if it has to do with stress from changing rooms at preschool. But then again, since they're mostly at night, I don't know.

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The chickens are growing. Fast! I can't believe how fast those little suckers have grown! They are very tame, and have now moved to their chicken tractor in the garage.

Just by word of mouth we already have people putting in orders for fresh eggs once they start laying, so that's a blessing. Because we just won't eat a dozen a day.

Oh, and one is HUGE. I call her Fatty (endearingly, not insultingly). Much bigger, in every way, and not as social as the rest of the flock. We're starting to wonder if "she" is really a "he". And being new to the chicken business, we don't know how to tell yet. Guess we'll find out soon enough.

BTW - they came sexed with a guarantee of 90% accuracy. Not bad. We can deal with one rooster. As long as it's just the one.

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Jason & I are still doing well in our marriage

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We are also taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University, and are getting a better handle on our financial situation.

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We decided to cancel our family trip in December. Mostly due to finances, but some due to other stuff. But mostly money.

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I'm really enjoying being on this writing kick that I've been on, but I'll try to do a better job of keeping ya'll updated on my life as well. After all, you guys are the best readers a gal could ask for!

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Today is the last day for the giveaway, so don't forget to sign up!

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Have a great weekend!