This Isn't Utopia

Recently there was an incident at a zoo fairly close to my home, and it has drawn quite the reaction online.

Short version: a 4 year old boy somehow managed to get away from his mother, thru a railing, wire fencing, dense vegetation, scale a wall, and fall into a moat inside the gorilla enclosure. One of the male gorillas ignored the recall keepers issued from behind the scenes (which successfully called back two female gorillas), and went to the boy. Witnesses & keepers agree that he did not appear to be in attack mode, but became increasingly agitated as both the boy and the crowd screamed, causing his actions to become more violent. Fearing for the life of the boy, the zoo's dangerous animal response team made the decision to fatally shoot the gorilla.

Since then there has been widespread outrage online, directed at... pretty much everybody, depending on who you're reading.

The mom is bearing the brunt of it, being blamed for not keeping a good enough eye on her kid. The zoo comes in second, with some people insisting that killing the gorilla was not necessary. Zoos as a whole are being blamed for causing the gorilla's death, because if he wasn't in captivity to begin with, none of this would have happened. And the third group I've seen criticized is Christians who blame the mother, or who mourn the gorilla, or who go to zoos at all, with other Christians shouting cries of "judge not lest ye be judged", human life means more than animal life, and the like.

Quite frankly, it's a mess.

And yet, yes, I'm adding my voice to the mix.

I'm gonna start by saying can we all stop being so harsh with each other? Even if you disagree, there's no reason to name-call, point fingers, and generally be disrespectful toward one another.

Now, let's break this down.

The Mother:
This poor woman. She has drawn the ire of the interwebs, that's for sure. I'm going to admit, I still have a hard time seeing how a properly supervised child could have made it away from his mom, under a railing, thru wire fencing, thru dense vegetation, and scaled a small wall without her noticing until he was already in the moat. In my mind, that could not possibly have happened that quickly. But, I also admit that I was not there. So far I have only read one eye-witness account, and it seems to indicate it really did happen that quickly and the mom was absolutely unable to stop it. Since I was not there, I will defer to the opinion of someone who was, and will say this appears to be a horrible accident.

I do think that even without assigning blame, we can still learn from the incident for our own parenting efforts. Perhaps we reconsider visiting public areas when we know they are likely to be extra-crowded, as it was this holiday weekend. Larger crowds make it more difficult to keep an eye on small children. Perhaps we simply take steps to be more attentive than perhaps we have been in the past. Certainly there are several ways to make this a learning point for our own children. We can talk to them about things like: why it's important to follow instructions, why we stay near parents in crowded places, respecting the homes & habitats of animals, etc. There are any number of ways to turn this into a learning point for ourselves and our children, and I think we should.

The Zoo:
I will begin by stating that I 100% stand by the zoo's decision to use lethal measures to rescue the child. Human life trumps animal life every time. I have read & heard statements from several different experts in this area and have yet to hear one actual expert say the zoo had another reasonable option. Tranquilizers not only take several minutes (estimates range from 10-25 minutes in this situation), but the instant the gorilla felt the dart hit likely would have agitated him further. I've seen numerous people on social media argue that lethal force wasn't necessary, but not only do they not have the credentials to be taken seriously on the matter, I have not heard one offer another, more reasonable option. So I'll stand by the actual experts.

The zoo's director has indicated that the zoo will review everything from the response of the multiple areas of staff involved in the incident, to the security at the exhibit, as they should any time there is an incident such as this. I am curious if any changes will be made to the exhibit. It has been secure for 38 years prior to this incident, but if such a young child really did make it thru the barrier in such a short amount of time, that may indicate a need for improvements. I trust that they will review all the information available and react accordingly.

Zoological Institutions:
At the interest of full disclosure, I support zoos. Are there a few places that call themselves "zoos" that are run in less than adequate ways? Yes, I can't deny it. But by and large, in this country anyway, our major zoos work very hard to preserve & protect a multitude of species, to repopulate endangered species in their natural habitat, to rehabilitate endangered animals with the hopes of returning them to the wild, and to provide the animals in their charge the best care possible.

Let's start with blaming zoos as a whole for this gorilla's death because if he weren't captive this never would have happened. Technically true. But let's dig a little deeper.

The Western Lowland Gorilla is listed as "critically endangered". In short, this means that without intervention they are at high risk of extinction in the wild. Breeding this species in captivity is an important part of ensuring the future of the species as a whole, and the zoo in question has been a leader in this endeavour. When looking at the big picture, the answer isn't quite as easy as "don't put gorillas in captivity". The truth is without captive populations that can ensure the survival of the species it wouldn't be hard to envision the complete obliteration of this beautiful creature from our planet, at the hand of poachers, habitat loss, and the like. Are zoos ideal? No. But this isn't Utopia.

Christian Finger Pointing:
Ugh. Where to begin?

Let's start with those crying out to stop judging the mother with quotes of "judge not lest ye be judged". I hear ya. That verse has been beat to death about everything. Don't judge anybody for anything. It's also not quite that simple.

Just a few verses later we are presented with comparisons regarding the width of the gate to Heaven, false prophets vs real prophets, evaluating people by their fruits. All of which require a type of judgement or discernment. In other areas of the Bible we are instructed to "judge righteously". I think the key is in how we do it, and how we present it.

If we hold ourselves in higher esteem than another, as though we could never be at such fault, if we resort to disrespectful and unkind behaviour, surely this is not appropriate. But are we to review the actions of those around us, discern if they are best behaviors, apply to our lives accordingly? I think the answer is 'yes'.

Next, does human life have more value than animal life? Absolutely. But many of those pushing this point are upset that people are mourning the death of the gorilla, that there was a vigil at the zoo for the deceased animal, that anyone, especially fellow Christians, seem to care for animals at all. I'm not gonna lie, I don't understand this.

First of all, the little boy did not die. He has been released from the hospital with a minor concussion and a few scrapes. He is, for all purposes, fine. Therefore, there is no comparison. The little boy did not lose his life.

Had he died, I feel confident that the outpouring of emotion for his life would far outweigh any for the gorilla. Maybe some disagree, but I do think our society as a whole, Christian or not, does still value human life over animal life. Because the boy (thankfully!) did not die in the incident, but the gorilla did, this comparison, in my opinion, makes no sense.

So what about mourning the loss of an animal, caring for his life, being upset that he died? I believe all of those are not only understandable, but I'm going to go as far to say that they are understandable even within a Christian worldview.

From the beginning, God set man to have dominion over the animal kingdom. They are for us to eat, to clothe us, and most important in this case, for us to take care of them. Caring for the animal kingdom presents itself in different ways to different people, but I believe there is no shame in having an emotional response to the death of an animal. Furthermore, since this gorilla was an important link in the breeding population for this species, then it would be reasonable to mourn his loss even further as we look to the future of the species as a whole.

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As we look at this unfortunate incident, I think there is plenty of room for each of us to evaluate what happened, see where we can learn something, and decide if & how to apply it to our lives. We don't all have to agree with one another, but we can try to do so in a respectful manner, can't we?

As always, thanks for checking in.

Trip to the Zoo

Had an awesome time taking some friends from California to the Cincinnati Zoo!

Trip to the Zoo in Pictures

FireMan teaching FireGirl about insects

watching the gorillas

brushing a goat in the Children's Zoo

First time riding the train

Photo by FireGirl - she directed us to "make a funny face"

Cheeta

Peacock - photo by FireGirl

Loving on the manatee statue

Hiding behind the manatee statue

"No, that is not a manatee. That is me in a wetsuit."

And no, you don't get pictures    =P

So, here's my confession. My so-embarrassing-I-cried-when-I-finally-admitted-it-to-FireMan-last-year confession.

He kept bugging me about doing the manatee tank. It had been too long since I had done it, I enjoyed doing it, it was something we could do together, etc.

So what was the problem?

I had gained so much weight that I no longer fit into my wetsuit.

The wetsuit I bought after FireGirl was born.

And wetsuits, for those of you who don't know, tend to be very stretchy, very... forgiving.

As I start to tell the story, I realize I never told you any of the story...
In 2010, for FireMan's birthday, I surprised him with a trip to Florida to dive in the hot springs and snorkel with the manatees. Like, I tucked away cash here & there for a year-and-a-half (small amounts so he wouldn't notice, any cash I received for my birthday or Christmas, etc), spent about two months planning it, called his boss to schedule his vacation, and surprised him with a certificate that said "We leave tomorrow".

Yes, you do wish I were your wife. Because I am that awesome.

And to answer the question before it's asked: yes, that was before our marital problems surfaced. Or at least before I saw them.

{{ mental note - seems like there's a whole 'nother post in there I could write on later}}
Okay. Are we all caught up now? Good.

So on that trip, as we were preparing for our first snorkel with the manatees, and I put on my wetsuit, I thought it felt a little snug, but, well, wetsuits are always a little snug. And mine zips up the back, which I should be able to do myself, considering the long zipper pull, but it was morning, and I'm not a morning person, and things just weren't working, so Hunny, will you please help zip me up?

It took about a half a nanosecond for both of us to realize the problem.

I sucked in. He pushed on me, and squeezed on the wetsuit, and pulled on the zipper.

Until the zipper broke.

It still zips (thank the Lord!), but pull tab? Broken. Won't even hold the string of the zipper pull anymore.

And this happened in front of other people.

I was humiliated. Embarassed. Mortified.

Self-esteem plummeted instantly.

I did manage to enjoy the snorkel, and the rest of the snorkels & dives on the trip. And FireMan mastered the art of sausaging me into my wetsuit.

Devestating.

That trip, in early 2010, was the last time I put on my wetsuit until last Friday.

I had managed, barely, to get thru that trip. But I also gained more weight after that trip. I never tried it, but in my head there was no way it would fit. And wetsuits are not cheap, so I didn't want to buy a new one, when that one was only a couple of years old and barely worn. And we have to be at the zoo so early, that if I rented one I'd have to pay two days of rental fees for a mere two hours of diving.

But mostly... I was embarrassed. Horrifyingly embarrassed. The thought of putting on a wetsuit, or trying to put on a wetsuit, in front of other people seemed like about the most awful idea in the world. I was ashamed of myself, embarrassed of my body, and just the thought of it made me feel about yay big.

Just the thought of it made me feel so bad, that one day last year, when FireMan was asking me yet again when I was going to go back, I finally broke down in tears, confessed why I hadn't signed up, and begged him to stop asking so I could stop thinking about it.

To his credit, he did not ask me any more after that. Even when he went by himself a couple of times.

Still nervous, I knew I had lost weight, so when the manatee keeper contacted me and said it had been too long since I had been there and I needed to either sign up, or quit... I signed up.

Yes, in saying that I'm also saying that if he'd given me that choice last year, I probably would have turned in my volunteer badge. I was that mortified.

So that, dear readers, is my confession. Something that up until now only I and FireMan knew. But now you.

Diving with the Manatees

You may remember from a previous post or two that FireMan & I are volunteer divers at the zoo. We clean the manatee tank.

Well, it had been quite a while since I had been (post about that to follow), and last Friday was my first time back in the tank in what seemed like forever.

It was good. Very good.

As a scuba diver, it was good just to get back in the water. Living in the Midwest, unless you travel pretty far, your only options are pretty much cold water dives. Which were fine... until my first ocean dive. Ha! That warm water ruined me for those cold quarry dives.

And then it's good to see the manatees. Being an endangered species, any manatees in captivity are part of a rehabilitation program, with the hopes of eventual release. It's just so good to be a small part of that effort.

And it was good to get news.

The zoo's previous manatees, Slip & Li'l Joe, were sent to Florida at the end of 2009 to finish their rehab and be released. We found out that Slip is doing very well, while Li'l Joe has had some difficulty adjusting to life in the wild. He's not really catching on, and has had to be pulled back in and re-released three times now. This last time he happened to be released near where Slip was, and they met up and have been hanging out for some time now. Everyone is hopeful that being near his old friend, and following  Slip's lead, will help Li'l Joe get things figured out so he can permanently stay in the wild. Hopefully.

So now the zoo has three new manatees: Betsy, Illusion, and... ??  I feel horrible that I don't remember the third one's name. For now I will call him "Baby M".

Betsy was born in captivity while her momma was in a rehab program. She is now 20 years old, and has never lived anywhere but in captivity. That used to be a sentence for either death when released, or simply a lifetime in captivity. Now that FWS (Fish & Wildlife Services) uses GPS tracking, they are able to release them, and monitor their progress, pulling them back in when needed. Success rate for manatees raised in captivity is still only about 50%.

See, ends up this feeding / migrating / what-to-do thing, for manatees at least, isn't as much instinctual as it is learned. So if babies aren't in the wild with their mommas when they are very young, then... they don't learn it. It's up to us humans to try to teach (or "rehabilitate") them.

Illusion was my personal favorite. Probably because she also seemed to take a liking to me. We're not supposed to touch the manatees, except to push them away if need be. But they can touch us all they want. She was all over me! The whole two hours! Kept swimming by me, nibbling on my fins, I swear she was performing for me at one point (it was so cute), knocked me into the window once, and towards the end I even got three manatee kisses (they come right up to you with their noses and "kiss" you - very lightly touching / pushing on your face / goggles).

Her story makes me sad. She was pulled out of the wild because of a severe injury from a boat propellor. It cut through the muscles leading to her tail, which is how manatees propel themselves. The muscles are permanently damaged, but luckily over time the surrounding muscles have picked up the slack and she is now able to get around the water just fine! The head manatee keeper expects her to be the next to be released, possibly later this year. Although they & the zoo veterinarian just make recommendations, and it's up to FWS to make the final call. We'll see! It would be awesome to have her back in her natural habitat.

And then there's Baby M. So little. Baby M was pulled from the water during the winter months due to signs of severe cold stress. He was very thin, and had ulcers that covered most of his body. Florida has been hit with several cold winters in a row, and this has had a devestating effect on the manatee population. He is now doing well. At two years old his skin is as smooth as can be, oddly void of the scars from boat propellors that most manatees have. He is eating well, and gaining weight like a champ, but still needs to gain a couple of hundred pounds before he meets the minimum qualifications for release. Luckily he did start out in the wild with his momma, so his chances of a successful release are pretty good.

As you might be able to tell, thru our volunteer efforts FireMan & I have become... attached... to manatees. They have become an animal favorite for each of us, and we've started teaching FireGirl about them as well.

Such noble, gentle, curious animals - endangered (as so many are) simply because of man's carelessness.

There are various ways to support the manatees, even from the comfort of your own home.

Organizations that promote manatee protection:
http://www.savethemanatee.org/
http://www.savethemanatee.org/sirenian.htm

Zoos & Other Organizations that rehabilitation manatees:

http://cincinnatizoo.org/
http://www.columbuszoo.org/
http://www.lowryparkzoo.com/
http://miamiseaquarium.com/
http://www.seaworld.com/
http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/

*note* these are not complete lists

Friday Fragments

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So far FireGirl's new preschool is going really well. Except for drop-offs. And that they keep not giving her her paci for naptime. Other than that, great.

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FireMan & I did a mini-vacation last weekend. One of these days I'll post some pics. It was a nice time to relax, and reconnect. Much needed, and well-timed.

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Got my MRI results. Yep, a fragment from my disc (same one) has broken off and is "dangling down" and interfering with the nerves in my spine. I have a surgical consult scheduled for next month.

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Did I tell ya'll about the weird stomach virus I had last week? and the week before? and back in March? Well, my mom finally convinced me that there was no way that could be a virus. I saw my family doctor yesterday. He thinks it's my gall bladder. Great. They're supposed to call me sometime today to schedule an ultrasound. Oh, and if it is my gall bladder, I'll probably need surgery. Because if it's progressed to the point of interfering with my digestive system, there's not much more they can do. Great.

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I've decided I need to start photographing & keeping track of the wildlife we see at our house. We see so many interesting things. Last week alone: five-lined skink, various frogs & toads, white-tailed deer, snake (still unidentified), pileated woodpecker, two other kinds of woodpeckers, lots of birdies, box turtle (actually a tortoise, but whatever).
In the past we've also seen walking sticks (maybe my favorite insect), raccoons, opossums, salamanders, another type of turtle (still unidentified), another type of snake (still unidentified), tree frogs, and... I'm sure a bunch of others I'm forgetting.
Plus all the buggies. I'm learning a lot about bugs. Which are good. Which are truly icky. Which I hate so much I kill with a vengeance on sight.
But I love nature. And I find all this wildlife invigorating, inspiring, and peaceful.

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I have a new boss. Again. Four bosses in seven months. Basically now I just directly report to the guy above the other three guys. And he sat down with me and apologized for all the confusion and that none of it was my fault, that it was management's fault for not getting their act together. I've worked with him for years, and I really like him, and think it'll be good, but all the changes still kinda stress me out. Being the only one here who does what I do, I've had to "train" each one of them on my job and what I do and stuff. And it's just getting really old.

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Next week I'm scheduled to clean the manatee tank at the zoo again. For the first time in over a year. They finally called me out on not doing it in too long. My fault, totally. But now I'm nervous. Not about the manatees, about the diving. And about squeezing my butt into my wetsuit.
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We bought FireGirl a giant floor puzzle of the United States. She loves it. Asks to play with it every day, but unfortunately usually at very inopportune times. Like five minutes before we're supposed to leave. Which is probably her plan, as she is brilliant at crafting stall tactics. But anyway, she loves it, which makes me happy. Because I like when we can make learning fun for her. Because I'm a dork. And she's a genius    =P
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Speaking of FireGirl, she has discovered Yo Gabba Gabba. And it is her latest obsession. What little I knew about the show pretty much came from The Original Bean's posts. So far, I like that it tends to get her moving, even early in the morning. Lots of dancing. Which she hasn't done much of since she got tired of watching Angelina Ballerina about three months ago. And the lessons are nice, I suppose. Same as most kids' shows, just delivered differently. But mostly I think it's really weird. Although I do like the DJ guy, because he reminds me of a friend from college    =P

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Have a great weekend!

Never Marry an Amazing Man

It comes with too many expectations that you will be amazing too.

FireMan is amazing. He really is. He is hard-working, generous, and will do anything for anybody.

I mean, c'mon... the man is a firefighter. His chosen profession is to run into burning buildings to save other people. He took a significant pay cut to put his life in danger to help others.

He's that guy.

He's incredible.

He also volunteers with the local water rescue as a rescue & recovery diver and EMT. And he's great at it. In fact, I contend that if you ever (God forbid) need someone to recover a corpse from a body of water, FireMan's your guy. He's the best at it.

Yes, it's a weird thing to be the best at, but he is. And him, again putting himself in danger, to recover a loved one so that a family can gain closure... well,  how awesome is that?

And then we started volunteering as divers for the Zoo. I stopped, because I didn't feel like I had the time, but he's continued.

And he tried out for Ski Patrol this past winter. And although he didn't make it this time around (it was kinda last minute and he did it on a whim), I have a feeling that's not the last we've heard of it.

Friends and family know FireMan as the type of guy that they can call whenever they need him. Car breaks down? Call FireMan. Sick and need help? Call FireMan. Need help with something on your house? Call FireMan.

He is reliable, dependable, great at what he does, generous, and always willing to help.

It's one of the things that attracted me to him to begin with.



Don't ever marry an amazing man.





Why? Because you're expected to be just as amazing. People who don't know me assume that I'm an EMT or firefighter. And they're surprised, and seemingly somewhat disappointed, to learn that I don't currently volunteer anywhere.

And when "they" need your husband? You're expected to just give him up, no questions asked, no complaints. Keep your mouth closed, and smile graciously, relishing in the knowledge that your husband is serving others.

Even if you had plans.

Even if you had something you wanted or needed done around the house.

Even if your daughter is asking for him.

Even if you're just lonely and missing him.

If you marry an amazing man, you're expected to be amazing too. You can't just be the normal wife, nagging because her husband worked late.

After all, he's not just working, he's helping others.

It's a lot of pressure.

And when it boils over, and you tell your husband you need him to cut back so he can be home more, you actually end up feeling bad, feeling guilty.

You feel guilty for wanting to be with your own husband.

Because it's not like he's out at the bar or the strip club. He's out helping others.

And you asking him to cut down on doing that "just" to be with you? Well, that seems... selfish.

Because as the wife of an amazing man, you're supposed to be amazing too. You're supposed to generously & supportively give up your husband, quietly live the life of the single mom all the nights that he's gone, and do what you need to do so that he can do what he does best... help others.

Even when you don't want to. Even when you're tired. Or sick.

Or lonely and just want your husband back.

Or just want someone else to help with your child that night.

Or just don't know what to say anymore when your daughter asks where daddy is this time.

Or just want your husband back.

That is your sacrifice, your generosity, your amazingness - supporting him and willingly & happily going without him so that he can help others.

When he is amazing, when he is generous, helpful, hard-working, and will do anything for anybody...

You have to be amazing too. You don't really get a choice here.

You have to be generous, and supportive of him - because he's amazing.

And to be anything less would be seen as selfish.



So, my advice to all you single ladies?

Never marry an amazing man.

the ABCs of me

inspired by JenM

Guess it's about time I told ya'll a little bit about me, huh?

A - Age: 33

B – Bed size: Queen

C – Chore you hate: floors (vacuuming and mopping)

D – Dog's name: Buddy (male Anatolian Shepherd, approx. 9 years old), Tootsie (female chocolate Lab, 10 years old, and Flopsy (male Chihuahua / Rat Terrier mix, approx. 5 years old
E – Essential start to your day item: toilet (LOL!)

F – Favorite color: I always say blue, but lately I've noticed myself favoring purple

G – Gold or Silver: Silver

H – Height: 5'6" (I've shrunk over an inch, ask me how!)

I – Instruments you play: trumpet

J – Job title: Professional Staff. Also known as Contracted Administrative Specialist.

K – Kid(s): Jena, who turned two this month!

L – Living arrangements: Ugh. Tough right now. Jason stays at the new-under-renovation house when he's not at the firehouse. Most nights that he's there I try to stay there. Jena spends most nights at my parents' house, and when Jason is at the firehouse, I spend the night with Jena at my parents'. And it's getting old.

M – Milk: 2%
N – Nicknames: nothing interesting

O – Overnight hospital stay other than birth: back surgery in 2006

P – Pet Peeve: drivers who don't use their turn signals

Q – Quote from a movie: "In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight" -- Vivian (played by Jula Roberts) in Pretty Woman

R – Right or left handed: Right

S – Siblings: one sister & one brother, both older

T – Time you wake up: too early, but apparently never early enough. Lately it's between 7am-7:30am

U- Underwear: yes

V – Vegetable you dislike: beans

W – Ways you run late: Jena! and I'm pretty easily distracted

X – X-rays: abdomen, back, head, full-body scan. Pretty much everything but my arms & legs

Y – Yummy food you make: marinated grilled chicken

Z – Zoo animals: the cat house! and the manatees!

Rainy Sunday at the Zoo

We went to the zoo yesterday after church. Rained most of the day, but we still had a good time. Wandered from exhibit house to exhibit house when the rain was light, stayed indoors when it was heavier. FireGirl loved the Cat House. No big surprise there. She especially loved the snow leopard.

FireMan & I spent the first two hours there cleaning the tank at Manatee Springs. It was neat to be able to look up and out the glass and see FireGirl there looking at us. At first she was really scared. I think all the scuba equipment freaked her out. But she eventually waved back at me. My inlaws were with us, and managed to get some pretty decent pics of FireMan & I in the exhibit.

The manatees, Slip & Li'l Joe, will be leaving the Zoo in October. It's a good thing really. They're part of a rehabilitation program, and will be moving to Florida to take the final steps to be released back into the wild. I haven't been volunteering with them very long, but already I know I'm gonna miss those gentle giants.

So after our busy, productive, and fun day at the Zoo, I am sore and tired, but glad we had a good day.

You have a good day too, 'kay?

Welcome!

Welcome to my blog! My intention is to share our life with you, as well as to pass along some (hopefully) helpful information.

As you might guess by the title, my husband is a full-time firefighter. If you are also a firefighter's wife, you understand that there are some unique challenges to this relationship.
He is also currently in Paramedic class, so add another challenge on there.

He & I also both believe in giving back to the community, and we volunteer together on our local water rescue team, and at the local zoo.

In addition to my husband, we have a beautiful baby girl. She is nine months old (already!), and I am cautiously navigating my way thru motherhood.

We are conservative Christians, and make no apologies for it. I'm sure that will come out in some of my future entries.

Thanks for visiting, and I hope you'll come back to check in with me again soon!