Perspective

I've been thinking a lot about perspective lately. Specifically how one's perspective on something greatly helps to shape their thoughts, feelings, and reactions to that something.

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First, in relation to work. Maybe you remember my post asking my co-workers to stop whining. In that post I explain that everyone feels like they are getting a raw deal. And maybe some are. But from what I can see, what makes them feel this way is less what is actually going on, and more their perspective on what has occurred.

Because most of our upper management came from Group B, Group A feels like the org change has been a "takeover". From Group A members I've heard repeatedly "why do we have to do everything the way Group B did it?"

At the exact same time, our mgmt has taken pains to try to make Group A feel included, I've been in the meetings where they refused to change something just to not offend Group A. These actions lead to me hearing from Group B members "why do we have to do everything the way Group A did it?"

If it weren't so annoying, it's kinda funny. Members of both groups feel like "everything" is being done the way the other group did it, and their ways of doing things are being tossed aside.

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Next, in relation to the SAHM vs Working Mom thing. I'm sure my last post on the subject may have ruffled a few feathers. I even debated not posting it, for that reason. But it's my blog, and it articulates well how I feel, so I kept it.

But I kept asking myself why it bothered me so much. And I finally realized. I feel like it's lopsided.

From my perspective - what I see, hear, and deal with on a daily basis - SAHMs get more support than working moms. That's what it boils down to. I'm hurt, upset, and a little angry that working moms aren't given the same support & respect for the job they do as moms.

I hear SAHMs complain about how busy they are, how much work they have to do, how their houses are messy and they can't find the time to get anything done - and I hear others telling them that oh, yes, you do hard work, it is hard to stay home, you do do a lot of work, no one can expect you to keep a clean house all the time because of everything else you have to do, can I babysit for you sometime so you can get something done / have some time to yourself.

I've heard it verbally, I see it posted on someone's wall or on a mommy message board probably weekly.

At the same time, if I say something about how busy I am, my house isn't clean, I can't find time to cook, or grocery shop, etc.... well, from my perspective instead of understanding and support, I get told (nicely or not so nicely) that I need to manage my time better.

I mean, if only I managed my time better, I would be better at meal planning, and could pre-cook all of my meals on Sunday to be re-heated during the week, I could cook more.

If only I managed my time better, I could follow FlyLady or Organized Home or Martha Stewart and my house would be clean.

If only I managed my time better, I could clip coupons and maintain a good grocery list, and zip thru the grocery store in no time, and still spend less money.

Oddly enough, I get more criticism from fellow working moms, and the understanding I do get usually comes from SAHMs.  Honestly, I would think it would be the other way around.

At the same time that my perspective tells me SAHMs get more understanding & support than WMs, I also acknowledge the perspective of a lot of SAHMs feel exactly the opposite. And maybe if all of us could somehow take a step back and see things from a completely objective third-party position, then maybe all of our insecurities, and hard feelings, and emotional ickiness would just fall away.

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Those are just two issues, but this idea of perspective has infiltrated my thoughts on nearly every topic over the past few weeks. From Entitlement, to Presidential Debates, to Volunteer Work, to Religion, to Infertility, and so much more... perspective.