I don't know that I would call it the "worst", but rather the "hardest", and that would be the meshing of two people into one life.
When you share your life with someone so intimately, the intertwining of the two of you sometimes results in... knots.
The fact is that even though you are sharing your lives with one another on the deepest level, you are still two totally different people. You have different personalities, different ideas, were raised differently, different wants, different don't-wants, different likes, different dislikes.
Getting all of those things to successfully merge is hard, H-A-R-D, hard.
It's a matter of compromise and of give-and-take. Sometimes you give more, sometimes he gives more, sometimes you're both trying to take and no one wants to give.
Sometimes... you remember how nice it was back in your tiny one-bedroom apartment just you and your cats when you didn't feel obligated to ask someone else's opinion before you made a life decision.
But mostly, you figure it out. You do the dance. You give, he takes. He gives, you take. You both give and the kid takes.
And sometimes it sucks, but mostly, once all the dust has settled... those knots? the ones that got in the way when you were trying to gracefully intertwine your lives? Yeah, it's those knots that made the two of you stronger together than you were apart.
3 comments:
You know, it's funny, my dearest darling dimple butt and I managed to merge pretty easily. Physically, it was easy 'cuz we were really young and didn't have a can of spaghetti -o's to our names. Mentally, early on in our relationship we established boundries and learned each others strengths, which eventually developed into what each of us handles (brains and brawn, baby!).
Emotionally....well that was a whole other can of worms. Hubbs has been a firefighter the whole time I've known him, so I was very well versed in schedules and department politics and fear by the time I agreed to marry him. I am not a nervous needy nelly by any stretch of the imagination, but I never anticipated just how emotionally unavailable the job would make him. I may have prepared myself mentally (as much as you can) for the possibility of his death in the line of duty....but I never anticipated what surviving a tragedy like the Sofa Super Store could do him and our marriage.
I guess the hardest part of marriage is the unexpected. The things you can't plan for. The things that you can't anticipate how they will affect you and your loved ones.
Dude, that was a total mood kill...but it was honest.
AMEN about those knots. They are the things that trip you up, that frustrate the heck out of ya, and in the end are what tighten that bond of love.
I'm dealing with that with Seth already. It's hard. No joke. I'm wondering if things get better and if it's worth all the hard work. Morbid, I know.
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