Book Rave

Glue: Sticking Power for Lifelong Marriages by Paul & Patti Endrei

Love, love, LOVE this book. It has real, practical ways to strengthen the bonds of marriage, all based on biblical principles. Although I will say that even for the non-Christians out there, the ideas & advice in this book are good for anyone! Of course, it will help both partners in the marriage read the book & take its advice to heart, but better one person working to improve a marriage than no-one.

And don't wait until you're in trouble to start working on your marriage! Do it now! If your "glue" is strong, you won't break apart!

Read, and enjoy!

Boat Patrol last night

Last night Jason & I ran boat patrol for water rescue. It was a beautiful night to be on the River, and for the most part was a calm, relaxing boat ride. We had one broken down boat, dead in the water. We towed the boat to the nearest doc, then took the boaters (2 adults, one child, and 2 dogs) to the dock where they entered the water (about 10 nautical miles away), so they could get a ride. Didn't tow their boat the entire way because it's too hard on the rescue boat's engines.

Anyway, it was a great night for a boat ride, we did a good deed, and it made me nostalgic. Reminded me of our wedding. We got married on the rescue boat, the same one we were on last night. The picture above is actually from our wedding. Similar weather, same boat, on there with Jason. It was great.

He's actually out on the River for boat patrol again today. I'm at home hoping Jena will finally drift off to sleep (she's been fighting it for 45 min), and deciding how productive I want to be today.

Have a beautiful weekend!

How do you motivate yourself ??

Specifically, I need to lose weight. I even want to lose weight. But for some reason I am just not motivated to do what I need to do to lose it.

It's not bad enough that I still can't fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. It's not bad enough that I hate my new body shape. I'm still not motivated.

I'd like to be motivated. I'd like to be motivated to be more active & eat better. But man! That burrito I had last night was yummy. As was the cookies-n-cream shake from Chik-fil-a. Mmmm....

I don't know. I need to do something, but I just can't seem to get my butt in gear.

{sigh}

So I've been meaning to post this for a while...

... but I can't seem to find the right words. So I'm just gonna say it and hope it comes out right.

I am more me now than I have ever been.
My husband, my loving Jason, make me more me. He brings out sides of me that I never knew existed. Parts of me that I had forgotten about long ago. Parts of me that I always wanted to be, but never were. Being with him, makes me a better me. Not a better person, mind you, but a better me.

My daughter, my wonderful Jena, makes me more me. I am less self-conscious around her. Screw the rest of the world, I only have eyes for her when she's around. So who cares if I look like an idiot with a paci in my mouth? It makes her giggle. And since I am less self-conscious, I am more me than ever.

And I'm happy with that me. I'm content. Satisfied. In love with my "new" family and in love with my life.

Oh sure, there are things that could be better. Always are. One of my strong points, and simultaneously one of my vices, is that I always look for improvement. In everything (including myself). It doesn't mean that I'm not happy. It just means that I understand that perfection is not achievable, so there is always room for improvement.

One thing that I love, is that although my friends are fewer now, I feel like the ones I have now really know who I am, and love me for me.
I don't feel like I'm typecaste into a box anymore, and I really wish some of my older friends (particularly from college) could know me as I am now. Because I think I'm better this way.

For so long I was the TrumpetChick, the BandNerd. The SmartiePants. The ChristianGirl. The GirlFriend. The BaptistGirl. The NaiveOne. The FatOne. Whatever. Maybe it's all perception, but I felt like I was pigeonholed into one or more of these roles. That I had to live up to that description, and also that I would never be known as more.

Now? I don't feel like I'm in any box. I'm everything, all at once. I'm me. I'm Jodi.

Like I said, I don't have near as many friends as I used to, but I feel like the ones I do have love me for me.

It's been a long journey to this point. But I definitely see how Jason & then Jena were so instrumental in getting me to this point. They're so awesome. They're my family.

I recovered a memory this morning

You know how they say you often repress memories of painful moments in your life, kind of a function of self-defense?

Well, as I lie in bed half-asleep this morning, a flash came before me, and I remembered one of the most painful moments of my life. When my ex left me. Told me he didn't love me anymore. I have no idea what brought this on. What was even more surprising to me was how completely I had forgotten it, until the wee hours of this morning.
Every detail wasn't there, it was bits & pieces, flashing thru my mind like a slideshow. But the details that were there were vivid. What I was wearing, where he had parked his car. Random stuff like that.

The really nice thing was: for the first time (obviously) of reliving that moment in a long time, there were no feelings attached. None. It was like any other memory, like remembering going to a football game, or a high school class, or any other boring memory of your life.

I like that it's just like any other moment from my past now. It has shaped my path thru this life, but does not define who I am. Love it.

I did not eat an entire (small-ish) frozen pizza for dinner last night. All by myself.

I did not pretend not to see my ex as he drove by me in the church parking lot yesterday, just because I didn't feel like talking to him. Or even looking at him.

I did not spray a spider with flea spray, just because I was too lazy to go upstairs and get the Raid.

I did not lock the dogs up last night before I even went to bed just because I didn't want to even think about getting up in the middle of the night because they were barking.

I did not hit the snooze for 45 min this morning.

I did not let my parents talk me into letting Jena spend the night with them last night, just so I could have a night to myself.

And I most certainly am not, at this moment, eating a yummy buffalo chicken salad from the work cafeteria just because it's so very, very yummy and trying to pretend that because it's a salad it counts as being "good", even though it has breaded chicken, cheese, tortilla chips, and ranch dressing on it.

Never. I would never do those things. Not me. Not Jodi.

Celebration Time!

Yesterday we had two celebrations to attend.

First, my cousin & his wife welcomed a new addition to their family - we celebrated the adoption of their son (as well as his 3rd birthday!).

It was awesome. Just to see God work through their lives, transforming them into the parents they have become, and watching this gift of family unfold before our eyes. It has truly been a blessing.

And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.
- Matthew 18:5

Following that celebration we went to my brother's house to celebrate his wife's 35th birthday. It was a total surprise. She was shocked! For me I think the greatest blessing was seeing the care that my brother took into organizing this for his wife. He is an awesome husband, and I am proud of him.

Well, as you can tell it's been a busy, but great weekend. Now to prepare for the week ahead.

How would you choose ??

Let's say there is a cause that you believe in, but many people are very against it. So much against it, in fact, that you are concerned that to support the cause might cause trouble, if not violence, against your family, either now or in the future.

What would you do?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Not sure what started this thought in my head, but it lingers.

In the past, I would have said "safety be damned, I will not compromise supporting what I see as a good cause". Now that I have a daughter, I think "why would I put her at risk".
Really has nothing to do with me. Kill me. I'm saved by the blood of Christ. I'll see ya in Heaven. Whatever. But my baby? I'd do anything to protect her.

I struggle with which is the best choice: supporting a cause you believe in, and showing your children what it means to be committed to something and how important it is to throw yourself behind worthy causes, or keeping your mouth shut and protecting those same babies.

I just don't know.

You know in Nazi Germany, historians believe that the reason Hitler was able to rise to power and follow thru with his gruesome plan was because the German public was complacent. But now that I have a family, I wonder if complacency is the right word. Maybe they didn't do anything to stop it not so much out of complacency, but out of fear for their own safety, and the safety of their family.
And as much as we would all like to think that in the same situation we would rise up against such atrocities, if you knew that to do so would end up in your death, and possibly the death of your family, would you really? That if you were caught protesting the leader of your country you & your family would almost certainly be killed? Would you still do it?

I've studied WWII Germany in the past, for various educational projects. And I was always baffled at how such a large number of people, as the German public, could let such a thing happen. History has largely overlooked this occurrence. How could otherwise decent, loving human beings let such atrocities occur, how could they seem to not care? It just never made sense to me.

We probably will never know for sure. There are no records as to how many people actually supported Hitler, versus how many pretended to out of fear. But I think it's something worth thinking about.

After all, those who forget history, are doomed to repeat it.

I hadn't intended to go off on that Holocaust tangent, but the idea fits, that's just an extreme example.

Anyway, I think it's worth examining ourselves and our lives and thinking about what we would do. If for nothing else than to help us understand others, and to help us understand ourselves.

Take care, and God bless.

Newport Aquarium

FireMan & I took FireGirl to the aquarium for the first time last night. She loved it. She would grunt and reach toward the fish like she was trying to grab them. Definitely had more luck with the bigger animals. And luckily there were plenty of them, and they were active.

I think her favorite part was on the way out, you can look down into the HUGE tank that has the sharks, rays, turtles, etc. The animals were being very active, and we had a good view. She was just watching them all go by.
I'm thinking that was easier for her to understand - looking down into the water. When we're looking into the water from the side, or all around like in the tunnel, I'm not sure she knows what to think about that. She seemed a little unsure.

My favorite part was the otters. They are so cute! Playing and fighting and rolling all over each other and all thru the water. Adorable!

FireMan got the nectar to feed the birds. That was pretty neat, but I think they'd already had their fill for the day. Weren't too interested. I was hoping to get one or two closer so FireGirl could be more involved, but they wouldn't budge.

All in all, it was a great night.

Choice: the ultimate freedom

We always have a choice. We may not like the choices we have. They may be difficult choices. But we always have a choice.

I don't like the phrase "I didn't have a choice". Yes, you did. Even in the most dire of situations, you have a choice how you are going to react to it.

To deny yourself choice, is to take away your own freedom. No one can take your choices from you. Only you can take them away from yourself.

"You leave me no choice". Not true. You may not like the choices you are left with, but you still have a choice. You still get to decide how you are going to act.

When we are slighted, we decide how to react. Are we going to get angry, blow everything out of proportion and ruin the day of everyone around us? Are we going to take it all in with grace, forgive the person for slighting us, and do our best to not let it affect our mood? Somewhere in between?

See... you have a choice.

But Jodi, you say. Such-and-such happened to me and I had no choice at all. Now my life is ruined. I'm the victim. Blah, blah, blah.

I understand. I really do. But you still have a choice how you will react to the circumstances in your life.

Still think I don't understand?

In 2002 I was in a car accident. A lady ran a red light and T-boned my car going approx. 50 mph. My car was totalled, and I was injured. I had no choice. I didn't choose to be hit by another driver.
However...

I chose to call the police. I chose not to request an ambulance (mistake). I chose to drive myself to the hospital. I chose not to go on disability. I chose to continue working. I chose to continue to do whatever I could to lead a normal life. I chose to follow the doctors' advice and postpone surgery for as long as possible. I chose to smile even when I was in pain. I chose not to take this accident out on those around me. I chose to forgive the woman who hit me. The list goes on and on.

We do have choices. Even when it seems we don't.
So the next time you're sitting there feeling as if you don't have any choice, think about it. Think about it long & hard if necessary. Find your choices, then make them.

Why is life so complicated? Or am I making it so?

So, the friend that I went to the park with, the one that saw FireGirl's first steps? Well, DeeDee's actually the wife of my ex.
I knew her before I knew him. We were all friends. At one point, she was actually my best girlfriend.
We had a falling out, but recently cleared the air and made amends, and have been trying out this friend thing again.

For obvious reasons, there is some awkwardness from time-to-time.

Fast forward to last night, when I get word that one of my bestest friends is having trouble with her husband. She found out she had been contacting his ex-wife in secret. For months. Both he and his ex swear there's nothing going on, but.... you understand why it's hard to believe, right?

So this has me re-thinking this friendship with DeeDee. I do want to be friends with her again. I would love for us to get together, go out together, go shopping, talk, just hang out. She was a great friend before, and I would love to recapture that. But... now I'm wondering if I should. Because she's married to my ex and all.
What if it does eventually lead to all of us getting together?
I just don't ever want to do anything that anyone would translate as any sort of impropriety on my part. I don't ever want my husband to ever even wonder that about me.

So I'm unsure of next step.
One part of me wants to call her up and schedule a girls' shopping trip to the new outlet mall. As long as I keep my nose clean, now worries.
Another part of me thinks maybe I should just stop everything, and let this old friend be just that: a friend from my past, not my present.

I don't know. What do you think? Comments appreciated.

Went Diving this past weekend

Had a great weekend.

Still trying to overcome my fear of sinking. Makes the initial descent a little difficult. Had some trouble equalizing on the initial descent on our last dive Saturday and my only dive Sunday. Not good, but as long as I can take my time and go down at my own pace (which FireMan is really good at letting me do), then I can usually get my ears on board and continue on with a good dive.

My buoyancy is getting better & better, so that's good. In fact, despite the issues on the initial descent on Saturday, I'm declaring that my best dive yet. It was definitely the closest I had gotten to the bottom, without ending up touching anything!

One thing I have to work on is that my legs tend to hang below me, so I'm in a semi-vertical position, trying to move thru the water. Creates a TON of drag, and ends up with me kicking more than I need to. Not sure how to fix it. Might have to consult my instructor-friend.

I may just be ready for the Bahamas yet!

FireGirl took her first steps last night!

She walked from me over to a friend, in an effort to get said friend's keys! About 4 feet away!

Of course she didn't realize she'd done it, and when we tried to turn her around to walk back to me she was too scared. Stood there frozen in place and shaking! Poor baby!

She did walk a few other times. So cute! At one point she took about three steps away from me, turned back, and just laughed. She was so delighted with herself!

And Mommy is so proud of her little girl!

PSA: Driver's Ed

When approaching a stoplight that is not functioning, you are to treat it as a four-way stop.

It is not a free-for-all for everyone to go blasting thru the intersection at 45 mph.

Thank you.

Oh, what we do for love... of our children, that is

I went to see my Ob today. I'm still having some complications from my Labor & Delivery (L&D). It's kinda personal, and really TMI, so I'm not going to go into details.

Basically, he thinks/hopes it can be fixed with what amounts to at home physical therapy, sort of. If that doesn't work, then I will need to consult with a surgeon. Nice.

Since I hadn't started my blog until months after FireGirl was born, obviously I've never written about my experience here.
It was bad. Traumatic really. And by traumatic I mean emotionally & physically traumatic. I was hospitalized for nearly a week, and ended up at the ER just four days after being discharged. Follow up appointments several times a week for about a month.

So here I am 10 months later and still have complications. My ob also gave me the heads up that if surgery is needed, that they usually prefer to wait until after the patient is done having children (I'm not), because there's a high likelihood of repeating the injury during subsequent L&Ds. Nice.

Oh, what we go thru for our babies. Of course, as long as the end result were still my precious FireGirl, I'd do it all again. Hundredfold. I'd go to the ends of the earth, to Hell and back, for that sweetie.

Not Me Monday

I did not decide that Jena splashing around in the kiddie pool yesterday was as good as a bath.

I did not eat the leftover Hamburger Helper instead of giving it to the dogs.

I did not get upset with Jason for a not-very-good reason, and then barely look at him for hours.

I did not laugh out loud for 10 min straight when Jason called to tell me that Jena's diaper had exploded and he had to give her a bath.

I did not put a bottle in the crib with Jena last night hoping it would soothe her back to sleep, especially since I hate when Jason does that (on a regular basis).

Looks like P90x is a bust

We started P90x last Monday, working out in the evenings after FireGirl went to bed.

Day 1 went great.
Day 2 went great.
Day 3 went great.
Day 4, while at work, I had two bad back spasms. Decided to take the day off from working out.
Day 5, still experiencing some minor back pain, made that a rest day too.
Day 6, started the workout. About four exercises in, had a small back spasm. Sat out the rest of that exercise and started up again with the next one. Another small back spasm. Rinse, repeat. Decided I'd better stop before I have a bad one.

Grrr. I was really excited about this workout program. Especially after the first three days went so well. Now I'm pretty bummed. I'm glad I tried, but with my history of back problems (car accident in 2002, surgery in 2006), I have to be careful.
I guess I'm just disappointed because I've been able to do so much since my surgery, that was unthinkable before the surgery. When I'm hit with that harsh reminder that my injury is considered a "lifetime" injury, it means just that. I will be dealing with this injury in one way or another for the rest of my life.

Guess I'll just go back to eating salads (blech!) and trying to be more active in little ways.

{sigh}

Baby Contest at the County Fair

So.... I entered FireGirl. I know, I know. And right after my post about Toddlers and Tiaras. I don't know what I expected. I just thought it might be fun.

And it was. But after we got there and got registered, and I started looking around, I wanted to back out. Looking at all of these adorable, beautiful babies, it just kinda bothered me that we were gonna judge them based on who was cuter than whom. And how can you really decided that? They're all gorgeous! I don't know. It just seemed... goofy and weird somehow.

So we won't do that again. I mean, when FireGirl gets older, if she wants to enter a pageant here & there because she thinks it's fun, then fine. But otherwise, we're done.

P90x Progress

Well, last night was day two of P90X. We're doing the P90x Lean (to burn fat and build lean muscle). I have to say it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong. It's tough. But I can keep up (for the most part).

There are a few exercises that I can't even do yet. Not even one rep. So I just use that minute or so to get some water & wipe off the sweat. And a lot of the other exercises I have to do modifications on. Especially on the push-ups and such. I have no upper body strength at all. I have to do baby sissy push-ups, if that makes sense.

But I've kept up with it, and busted my butt. Worked up a sweat. And my muscles are sore. So I guess that means it's working.

Ultimately I'd like to do the entire P90x Lean doing all the modifications and such, and then hopefully be in shape enough to go back and do either the P90x Lean or the Classic P90x with no modifications. That would be awesome.

To everyone who keeps spouting "Buy American" cars:

Do you have any idea how many AMERICAN jobs are created by "foreign" auto manufacturers?
Do you have any idea how much money is pumped into the US economy by "foreign" car companies?

I am so sick of hearing this. Why?
Because usually it's said in ignorance.
Because I'm tired of people buying into some line that their being fed by the media, or the UAW, or even our own President instead of getting the facts & thinking for themselves.

Did you know the most "American" car for 2009 is the Toyota Camry?
That five of the top 10 "American" cars are made by "foreign" manufacturers?http://www.cars.com/go/advice/Story.jsp?section=top&subject=ami&story=amMade0709

It's not just the plants where the cars are made either. The number of AMERICAN suppliers, sub-suppliers, and raw materials suppliers that get business from "foreign" car manufacturers is ENORMOUS. So big it's actually difficult to grasp.

Look here in the tri-state. Over 1000 people employed by TOYOTA in Kentucky alone. And that doesn't count the contractors they employ. Or the suppliers that I mentioned earlier. Over 1000 people in Ohio & Indiana employed by HONDA. Again, not counting contractors or suppliers.
And that's just the manufacturing side. Doesn't include finance (Toyota has an office in Cincinnati), sales (all over), etc.

I'm not saying buying American is bad. I'm just asking people to use their heads and think about what that really means.

Is it better to buy a "foreign" car that is built in Kentucky with the majority of its parts from the US?
or is it better to buy an "American" car that is built in Canada with a good deal of parts from foreign suppliers?

Just because the company is based in Detroit doesn't mean you're necessarily driving an "American" car.
And just because the company is based in another country doesn't mean you're not.

Just think about it.

Played Hookie from Church Today

I know, I know.

I decided to stay home with Jena all day. Haven't gone anywhere. I just felt like I needed some mommy & baby time together.

So far it's been a pretty good day. She slept till 9am (praise Jesus!), we had a good morning, after lunch we played in the kiddie pool for a little bit. She's napping now. I've gotten a couple of loads of laundry done, took out the garbage, and actually managed to play with the dogs for a few minutes.

Pretty boring day, I know. But it means a lot to me. These are the days that get me thru all the others.

Oh, and in case you're wondering... on Friday night I decided to leave Jena with my parents and have a late date night with Jason. It was good, and much needed.

Have a great day!