Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Maybe I should stop fretting

Ugh. My weight.

I really want to start of the next pregnancy below my pre-pregnancy weight from before. And right now, I'm not there.

The truth is my weight has fluctuated up & down the past few months, ranging from 14 lbs under my last pre-pregnancy weight, to 2 lbs over.

Right now, I am just over that previous pre-pregnancy weight.

Even if it's just 5 (or better yet 10) lbs lighter. But at that weight, and stable at that weight, you know?

Maybe I'm being silly. In my head if I'm even just 5 lbs lighter, I'm giving myself & baby that much more of a chance at starting things off healthy.

But the fact is my last pregnancy, with my pre-pregnancy weight exactly what it was this morning, was healthy. Jena was fine, perfectly healthy. I was fine.

I don't know.

Part of me says I really need to be stable at that lower weight to be healthier for both of us.

Part of me says I was healthy before, baby was healthy, and I'm making changes to live a healthier lifestyle, so stop fretting.

Also - I'm slightly upset. According to the scale, I've dropped 2 lbs, and yet this morning I had to go rummaging thru my bin o'fat clothes to find pants. Pants that have been too big for me for well over a year. This had better just be an unusually massive case of bloat (it is that time o' the month), because dropping 2 lbs should not mean bigger sizes. In my humble opinion.

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