On the way home from work that night I stopped at the dollar store to pick up a pregnancy test. Or ten. Okay, just one. Two-pack. You know, just in case.
I figured if I was gonna have to keep buying them, I was going cheap. Who cares about early detection? I just need an answer. Besides, the high dollar tests haven't exactly worked out for me, have they?
Got up the next morning, and peed on a stick. Again.
Three minutes later, it was staring me in the face.
NEGATIVE.
Part of me is sad, but was pretty much expecting it by that point.
I didn't cry that time. I'd already done my grieving for the-baby-that-never-was.
A larger part of me is wondering WHY this all happened. I mean, a less than 3% chance of this happening, you know? Just makes me feel like there should be a reason.
And, having the faith that I do, am convinced that God had a reason. Just wish he would clue me in.
Because right now it feels like it all just happened to put me thru one heck of an emotional roller coaster for a month.
Dangling the carrot in front of me.
You want babies? Like... really badly? Well... here's your chance! Even if your husband isn't on board, here's your chance! And he can't get upset, because you didn't do anything delibeartely to cause it, and no one would have predicted this would happen! Weeeeeeeeee!
And he's actually okay with it if you get pregnant, becauase no one could foresee this happening! Weeeeeeeee!
And then, a month of ups & downs later.... nope. Nada. No babies for you. FireMan is still insisting you go back on birth control, so....
The next morning I put on The Patch.
Yay. {{ insert sad face here }}
7 comments:
This story sucks, just sayin'
I wish we could see the big picture and know why these kinds of things happen in our lives. Call me crazy, but I've often wondered if God gets some sort of kick out of situations like this. I know deep down that He doesn't, but sometimes it almost makes you wonder.
Praying for you and FireMan, that you can come to some sort of decision regarding expanding your family. But I'm especially praying for your heart, that God would comfort you and bring you peace, no matter what happens. You deserve a little peace right about now.
OH, I was really hoping a congratulations was in order. Maybe someday you will come to see why this all happened. And Maybe just Maybe Fireman liked the thought if it happening even though it wasn't in his plans right now. And maybe he will be more open for discussing it in the future. Good Luck!
I am so sorry sweetie! I was really hoping that this story had a better outcome as well, and i will continue to pray for you and FireMan as well. There are so many why's in this world and someday we will understand, but for now we just have to trust in God... and trust me, I know that is so much easier said than done. Experiencing this myself lately! Love ya!
I feel for your pain on this, but you know this isn't really how you wanted it to happen. You'd love an 'oops baby', but you really want for both of you to be on board with having another baby and that isn't the case right now. Team Fire Family.
Work your plan sweety. "Whether or not it is clear to you, the universe is unfolding as it should." ~Desiderata
I agree, this story stinks. I was hoping for a better conclusion then what I thought it would be based on observations over the past couple weeks :( I hope you and Fireman will eventually see eye to eye on this topic. Sooner then later. If you ever need someone to talk too, I am here for you. Through staying updated on your blogs and talking with a couple friends who blog. I think blogging might be for me. I'll keep you updated. Love you, Fireman and Firegirl!
Mine just came out after 4 1/2 years. I thought (sorry to be so graphic) it was the tampon string... imagine my surprise/horror/expletives. I just broke up with the worlds biggest jackass today whom I was with the night before. I've stopped seeing him over and over again and this was the last time and then BAM this. If for some reason this was not a period and was from it dislodging and I was pregnant with his little demon spawn... ugh. ( I have 4 munchkins already... I'm DONE) I'm not sure exactly what to do right this second. Morning after pill? Don't know how long it was dislodged and it could be too late... it is now 2 mornings after so does it even still work? I've been ridiculously emotional lately too.... insert panic.... Anyway... thought i'd share my 5 minutes ago story with you. I suppose i'll be planning a trip to the OBGYN this week.
I believe offspring is the right of both partners. If you want another and one isn't enough in my opinion your husband should accommodate. I would postpone timing but definitely wouldn't give up.
Browsed post to see how it would be like if my new IUD became expelled
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