Weight, Confidence, and Attraction

So, for varying reasons the topic of weight & attraction has come up in conversation between me and different parties here recently.

One specific topic that keeps repeating itself is how it's unfair that overweight men are often still found attractive in our society, being the "cuddly teddybear", while overweight women are often written off as "fat cows".

This morning FireMan said he thinks it's not so much how society sees people, as how they see themselves. That guys are still found to be attractive, even when heavier, because they don't care as much about their weight, and so are still more confident in their appearance.

I argue that they're more confident because society as a whole still finds them more attractive than overweight women.

It's the whole chicken-before-the-egg argument. Which came first?

I do agree that confidence plays a big part in how attractive you are. But how confident can you be when society (especially the media) tells you that because you aren't a certain weight, you are therefore not attractive?

One point that I brought up is our recent excursion at Riverfest. I asked him how many overweight women did he check out compared to how many thin women. I got a nervous laugh in response.

Just think about it. You see yourself getting checked out (by anyone) and it boosts your confidence, thereby making yourself even more attractive.
You see numerous other women getting checked out by guys as you sit there seemingly invisible, and your self-confidence plummets, thereby making yourself even less attractive.
It becomes a vicious cycle.

I just hate double standards. The fact is that in our society today, "normal" weight people are treated differently than those of us who are overweight.
And to take it a step further, overweight men are treated differently than overweight women.