Who Needs a Five Year Plan?

Back when I was interviewing for jobs, the most hated question for me was the dreaded "Where do you see yourself / where do you want to be in five years?"

I don't, okay? I want to be happy. That's it. Whatever shape that takes, the answer is that I want to be happy.

Incidentally, I gave that answer in the interview for my current position.

The thing is, I learned at a relatively young age that plans don't work out how you want, and that even if they do, it's not always how you expected.

In short, fulfilling your plans does not guarantee happiness. And your plans aren't guaranteed to pan out anyway, so...

who needs a five year plan?

*aside* I know there are those out there who find five year plans and the like very helpful for them and satisfying, and helpful towards them achieving their goals. I just am not one of them.

The fact is, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I still haven't decided if I want to grow up.

When I was a teenager, the age when people seem the most likely to ask what you wanna be when you grow up, I would tell them I wanna be Peter Pan... and never grow up.

Most adults seemed either to think this was brilliant, or foolish.

Past the age of 15 or so, there was never a career that really seemed appealing to me. Not one. Oh, there were phases I'd go thru where I thought it would be really neat to be a teacher, or an FBI agent, or what not, but... nothing that grabbed my attention, nothing that held my attention, nothing that I wanted to dedicate my life to.

As a child I wanted to be a veterinarian. Until I found out they had to euthanize animals (not against euthanasia in certain instances, just not sure I could do it myself). So then I decided I wanted to be an animal breeder. Until I learned about pet overpopulation (not against all breeders, just too many pets dying to be rescued). So then I wanted to start my own rescue, except there's not really any money in that, and a gal's gotta eat, you know?

I still think about it.

Sometimes I think I'd like to be a pro-blogger, maybe start my own web design business, marketing is kinda interesting, as is being an Ebay reseller. I'd love to have an Etsy shop (but I'm not crafty), sometimes I think I'd make a fantastic CEO, maybe I should get my EMT certification, wonder if I could be an underwater engineer, should I become a computer programmer? or start that cat rescue I've thought about? Wonder if I could ever get that foundation going that I've wanted to run for years. Or maybe I could be an animal breeder, if it were for rare breeds or possibly working breeds. The list goes on & on. And on. And on.

The fact is, the only thing that has held my attention is that I feel called to be a wife & mother. Have since I was a teenager. The same as some feel called to be doctors, or lawyers, or ministers, or what not.

Wife & mother.

And now I am.

Yet somehow I still feel this pressure to have a plan for my career. But I don't. And I don't really care. Although I'm a little bummed that I've been working a job for eight years, with no motivation to move up, and not much of a chance of that happening anyway ('cause I don't play those politics-at-work games).

I picture myself in so many roles.

And even as a wife and mother, I see myself more loving & patient & kind than I really am in real life.

In my head I see that day where I bake cookies with my daughter, and cook meals from scratch, and craft the heck out of our house, and homeschool my children, and have an immaculate house, and wear sexy nighties every night before rocking my husband's world in bed.

Oh, and I can also do minor plumbing, take care of all the animals, do basic auto care, and build a doghouse. Out of brick.

And I do it all well. In my mind.

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