"You don't even have a period!"

So, this happened in our house the other night, two days after I bought a carton of strawberry ice cream because it's my favorite. Not that I wouldn't share, but when your favorite food is in the house, it's pretty clear who has dibs, right?

Wrong.

*note* this story is meant to be read in an overall good mood, with laughter infused throughout. Not sure that came across well in writing.

Jason: {{ sits down on the couch with a huge bowl of strawberry ice cream }}
Me: Where's mine?
Jason: I didn't know you wanted any.
Me: Why didn't you ask?
Jason: I didn't think you'd want any.
Me: Liar. {{  pouts, goes back to Facebook }}

10 minutes pass

Me: Guess I'll get my own snack, since my husband didn't even think to ask me.
Jason: I thought about it. I just didn't.
Me: That's even worse! Jerk. {{ gets up & goes to kitchen }}
Me: {{ opening freezer }} Where's the ice cream?
Jason: I ate it all.
Me: You what?!?
Jason: {{ looking sheepish }} I ate it all. I didn't think you'd want any.
Me: Liar. {{ pause }} That's why you didn't ask, isn't it? You knew if you asked me, you'd have to share!
Jason: No.
Me: Liar. And I can't believe you ate the entire carton in two days! I didn't even get one single bite!
Jason: {{ starting to laugh }}
Me: {{ trying not to laugh }} Here I am, on my period, and you ate all of MY ice cream. My favorite kind. You don't even have a period.
Jason: {{ laughing harder }} Sorry
Me: {{ opening the cupboard }} Don't tell me you ate the rest of the Oreos too!
Jason: Sorry
Me: Are you kidding me?!? You ate all the ice cream & finished the Oreos? In two days?!?
Jason: Sorry.
Me: You are not! What am I supposed to eat now?!?
Jason: {{ laughing }} You said you wanted to eat healthier...
Me: {{ shooting him a death glare }} Shut up. Did you eat all the PopChips too?
Jason: {{ trying to suppress his laughter }} yes.
Me: That's for my lunch! You know I pack those for my lunch!
Jason: I got hungry.
Me: Ugh! I can't believe you ate ALL the snackfood in the house in two days! And you're gone tomorrow so I can't even make you go to the grocery! So I'll have to make an extra trip to the grocery store after work tomorrow, even though YOU ate all the food! But I can't because it'll already be a late night because we have gymnastics! Grrrr!
Jason: {{ laughing riotously }}
Me: This is not funny. Don't you know better than to take snack food from a woman on her period?
Jason: {{ laughing so hard he can't breathe }}
Me: {{ laughing at him, laughing at me }} You know what, go to the store! You owe me! You never once went while I was pregnant. Go make up for it now!
Jason: {{ laughing so hard tears are rolling down his face }} you really want me to go?
Me: Yes.
Jason: I'll go.
Me: You'd better.

And then, he got up and drove to Kroger at 10:45pm and bought me strawberry ice cream. And chocolate chip. And even got a different brand, because our regular brand only had strawberry yogurt stocked, and he figured that probably wouldn't do (he'd be right, for some reason I despise strawberry yogurt).

And he never complained once.

He even stayed up with me while I ate a bowl of ice cream, even though he was really tired (true story, by the time he came back I didn't even want it anymore, but figured I'd better eat it as a gesture of good will).

And then... I fell a little deeper in love with that man.

Introducing Maltese Cross (a.k.a. Molly)

 

Back in June, Buddy led me to a tiny kitten in the underbrush on our property. There were no adult cats nearby. He led me to it, and kept the other dogs at bay as I sat in the underbrush for half an hour, gaining multiple mosquito bites before it got close enough for me to grab.

And it proceeded to rip the crap out of my hands and arms. I brought it inside, and we locked it in the laundry room with Peg.

I estimated it's age to be around 7 - 8 weeks old. And it was completely feral. I would assume we were the first humans it had seen.

Having nearly 30 years experience with cats, I decided I would try to tame it, & find it a home.

Well, I succeeded in taming her. She is now completely tame.

The home? Not so much. Ends up we literally couldn't even give her away.

And then there came the day when Jena said "We're not finding her a different home, right?"

And so, we've added a feline to our flock.

Maltese Cross. She goes by "Molly". Now so tame that Jena can pick her up & carry her around, and they cuddle together on the couch.

We really didn't want another cat, but she has fit in nicely. Sleeps on the bed with Jason, Tucker & I. Cuddles with Jena during the day. Is the only other cat we've had that Tucker has tolerated.

We've been fighting both roundworms & ear mites for the past 2 months, following her first visit to the vet. Unfortunately the mites were passed to Tucker, so even though we're treating both cats for both things, I think they somehow keep passing them to one another.

She's got one more visit for her last rabies booster, and we'll schedule her spay probably for January.

And that's where we are. Everyone give a nice warm welcome to Molly!

How to Make a Rainbow Cake

Now, I am not a baker by any means, but making the rainbow cake for my daughter's birthday was way easier than I thought it would be. Seriously. I was pretty nervous about it, but as you can see, it turned out pretty well.

Here's the deal

1. Mix up your white cake batter as usual.

2. Separate the now-mixed batter into six bowls (or however many different colors you want).

3. Using gel food coloring, color the batter in each bowl to the desired colors

4. Pour each bowl of colored batter into the cake pan one at a time, attempting to making even layers of each.

5. Bake as usual.

Interestingly (and this is what I was worried about), the colors don't mix together. I had a bit of a difficult time getting the layers even, but even so I think it turned out great. Perfect as far as I was concerned.

And seriously, ladies & gentlemen, it really is that easy.

I still can't believe it worked. Already planning out what to practice with next in the kitchen. Ha!

As always, thanks for checking in!

5th Anniversary Trip

For our 5th wedding anniversary, Jason & I celebrated by heading down to the Smoky Mountains. Mostly because we found a heck of a deal online. But also because we love the area. It's somewhat fitting as well. We went there on our first ever trip together when we were dating, and back there again for our babymoon when we were pregnant with Jena. And now back for our 5th. It's amazing how time flies...

 

I saw my very first Elvis impersonator at the American Oldies Theater

 

Tested my fear of falling by visiting the Sky Bridge

 

Saw lots & lots of beautiful fall colors

 

Spent a lovely week with my goofball husband

 

Sat in hours of traffic trying to get back home

 

Laughed at typos on signs at major attractions

 

Walked to the top of Clingman's Dome

 

 

Stopped at Cataloochee Visitors Center

 

Where I saw my very first (thru 11th) real-live-elk ever

the guy in red is totally about to get yelled at by the park ranger

 

Stopped on the way out of the mountains to hike to Soco Falls

 

 

Enjoyed every last minute that I got to spend with this man.

Put on your big girl panties and deal with it

Remember when I vented about how my upper management needed to rip off the bandaid? Well, I eventually did express my thoughts to them. Even made a few suggestions about how to go about it.

But did they listen to me?

Noooooooooo.

And guess what happened this morning during mandatory division-wide training?

It blew up.

You know when managers start arguing loudly with each other in front of the entire division, things aren't going to go well.

Blah, blah, blah. It basically comes down to a bunch of whining. Emotion. My feelings are hurt. You aren't doing things the way I'd like.

I've been listening to it since February, from every side, every angle, and every level (I'm one of those people that other people feel they can talk to and trust - which I am - so tend to hear everything). And quite frankly, I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of hearing it. I'm sick of Group #1 whining that we do everything Group #2's way. Which is funny, because Group #2 is venting about the same thing. I'm tired of one group complaining that they have no input into the division-wide training, when members from their group make up 50% of the Training Committee, and nearly 2/3 of the presenters have been form their group. I'm tired of it. I'm sick of it.

The perception of each group is that they aren't being heard.
The perception of each group is that the other group is being favored.

The reality is that both groups are being heard.
The reality is that both groups have to give up things for the merger to work.

The truth is our management team has been put in an incredibly difficult position.
And the truth is that even though we have some fantastic managers, right now no one is emerging as a leader.

And right now we need a leader.

Over six months later, and people still aren't sure about their jobs, are uncertain about the division's future direction. Over six months later, and people are still quibbling about stupid stuff.

We need someone to stand up, take the reins, communicate a clear direction to the entire team, and then sit everyone down and say something to the effect of:

"We are not Group #1. We are not Group #2.
We are a new organization, Group A.

Those are the facts. They aren't changing. We all will have to make compromises to make this organization into the strong, influential place in the company in which we rightfully belong.

We are Group A. Period.

Now put on your big girl panties and deal with it."

And the longer upper mangement puts off taking that determined lead, the longer our group is going to flounder. And the more public flare ups we're going to experience.

The point of me posting this is to say this:

If you're in a leadership position - be it in a company, community organization, or the like - then lead. You are going to upset people. Maybe a lot of people. You will not please everyone.

If you're considering a leadership position, before you accept it ask yourself this question: is it more important for me to be liked, or for me to be respected? Because if it's more important for you to be liked, then either you will not succeed as a leader, or you will be miserable at it.

Birthday Surprise

Jason was in Haiti over Jena's birthday, and even though we'd already had her party, she's old enough to know (and care) when her actual birthday is, so I wanted to do something extra special for her to take her mind over Daddy being gone and no party on her birthday.

And so this is how we woke up on her birthday morning:

Might be hard to tell from the picture, but that would be a hotel room.

The week before her birthday I got on Hotwire & got a room about an hour away from the house for dirt cheap, making sure it had a pool.

The night before I packed our bags, and hid them in the back of the car. The day of we had plans to go to my cousin's house, then when we left, instead of heading home, I started driving to the hotel.

She had no idea.

I have to say, best. idea. ever.

We got there around 7pm, checked into the room, changed into our swimsuits, & hit the pool.

Swam until around 9pm.

Got back to the room, and started flipping thru channels. We don't have cable at home, so it's always a thrill (for me!) to see what we have to choose from. I'm always a little worried about finding something for the munchkin to watch, but they had Disney Junior, so we were good to go.

Got into our pajamas, and snuggled into bed. And... I passed out. Probably around 9:30pm. I tried to stay awake, but was exhausted. Laid there and thought: the door is locked, there's not much she can get into, there's no one for me to take care of, no pets to tend to, no chores to do... I guess it would be okay to fall asleep.

And I did. The last thing I remember is her watching Disney Junior.

I woke up around 2am with her asleep beside me & Disney Junior still on the TV. In the morning, she told me she watched "lots of lots" of shows after I fell asleep.

We slept until we woke up, enjoyed a free hot breakfast buffet at the hotel restaurant, suited up, and hit the pool again. Got out just in time to change clothes, pack up, and leave before check out time.

So for the price of a birthday present, she got a special night in a hotel, got to go swimming twice, got to stay up late, and... I got one of my most restful nights in months.

I'm seriously thinking a hotel room to myself once or twice a year might be an even better idea. Mothers' Day gift? Every holiday? LOL.

As always, thanks for checking in!

by love serve one another

Rambling thoughts here, but I needed to get it out. More of a stream of consciousness than a well-written post. Read or don't. I just felt the need to put it out there.

Been thinking a lot lately. Life. Death. Everything in between. So many loved ones have come to mind.

Stacy*. Katie. Bob. Carl. Uriah.

Bob. A year-and-a-half since you committed suicide, and I cried over you again tonight. You were more than a co-worker, you were my friend. I miss you. All the time.

It seems like lately so many of my loved ones are struggling with different things. Not naming any names, because while some of been public about them, others are choosing not to. Just know for each of you that I think of you. Often. Daily. More than once a day.

Pray for you. For your families. As you go thru these things. Stressful things. Painful things. Hard things.

It's so hard sometimes. Life. I know. I've been there. Quite frankly, sometimes it sucks.

But it's good. Life is good. God is good. We just have to get thru those rough patches.

When your dad becomes seriously ill seemingly overnight.

Or your grandpa's been sick for a while, but is getting dangerously worse.

Or your child is sick. Again.

Or the doctors don't know why you keep getting sick.

Or you're struggling in your marriage.

Or empty nest syndrome has set in.

Or you're fighting to get thru your depression. That you may or may not admit you're struggling with.

Or you can't find a job that pays the bills.


Or your grandma died.

Whatever. So many problems. So many struggles. So much pain right now.

I just can't help thinking about each of you. Everyone. Those whose problems I don't know about. Those who I do.

And I want to do something. I want to help. I want to save everyone. I want to be there for everyone.

But how?

Quite frankly, it's impossible. One, sure. Two, maybe. And so on. But everyone? Impossible.

You can't save the world. At least I can't.

But maybe I should try. Maybe we all should.

I mean, maybe we can't do anything big, but...

Maybe we could be a little nicer, be a little more helpful. Maybe we could share an encouraging word, just because. Or smile at someone who seems down.

Maybe just doing our job well, helps someone. How? Because they know they can rely on you.

Some things are preventable, or at least early-detectable. Cancer. Heart disease. Suicide.

Maybe I could spread the word about these conditions. Warning signs. What to do. How to seek treatment. How to get help.

Maybe we all could.

Maybe we could all do a little bit more to serve our fellow man, to serve our world.

Still figuring out how.

But maybe that's just part of the journey.

I mean, part of my journey was going thru my struggles with depression & anxiety & such. There were plenty of times I was in survival mode. It truly felt like it was all I could do to make it thru the day.

I think we all go thru times like that, for one reason or another. And during those times, maybe it's not that we're serving ourselves, as much as it is we're just trying to live.

But now those issues are past for me, and I feel a real pull to serve. And shouldn't we all? This verse speaks perfectly of my situation:

"For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another."  -- Galations 5:13

I have my liberty. I am free. I cannot use this liberty purely for myself. I must, by love, serve those around me.

And though I want to, for some reason I've had a hard time figuring out how to do it, where to jump in, what to do, when, how.

Maybe it's all about love. Maybe I just need to love. As a verb, love, express love, show my love to others, however that may manifest. Maybe that is enough. Maybe that will help me figure it out. Maybe, if I just concentrate on that, then little-by-little, maybe it'll work its way into bigger action as I settle back into serving & loving others.

Part of the journey, I suppose.

Back to my loved ones suffering right now. Just know that I am thinking of you, and praying for you. Know that I love you.

My Fat Butt - here we go again

So, after gaining another couple of pounds & giving up on trying to lose weight... I hit that plateau. Nice, in that I stopped gaining. Adds to my frustration in that months of trying to lose weight resulted in gains, then when I give up, my body says 'okay, I'll stop piling it on now'. Ugh.

So, I have still been trying to eat more veggies, get more exercise, and not eat out as much. But other than that, I eat what I want.

The news comes because I had my 6 month check with my endocrinologist today. Which I had somehow not marked on my calendar and had completely forgotten about until I got the appointment reminder call.

He thinks my insulin is out of whack again, and is putting me back on Metformin.

*to re-cap, no I am not diabetic. In fact my blood sugar tends to be on the low-side of normal, and I have been diagnosed as hypoglycemic (low blood sugar) since I was 15 years old. I have an insulin disorder that makes my levels go crazy high, then crazy low, and not remain steady. Contrary to popular belief Metformin does not increase insulin, it regulates your body's production of it (ie. evens it out). Or at least that's how my endocrinologist explained it to me.Basically, my weight gain actually began when I went off the Metformin just over a year ago. I guess I somehow hadn't realized it, but he went back thru my chart and showed me. While I've gained around 8 lbs in the past 6 months (feels like so much more), I've gained almost 30 lbs total in the 14 months since I stopped the Metformin. Just over half the weight I had lost.

So... back on the Metformin. Although, if you remember (for some reason I couldn't find the post, hmph), I went off of it because of severe gastrointestinal side effects. But apparently there's a new (or new to me) form of it that is supposed to be much gentler on the stomach. So we will try again.

I have the option of going back on the rest of my meds, doing the aggressive drug therapy all over again, but considering the side effects of the other medications as well, I'm not ready to do that.

He also basically told me that he recommends an actual weight loss medication as well. We didn't go into details, because I'm not ready for that, but essentially because I have a physical ailment (my spine injury) that prevents me from exercising the way I need to to lose & maintain a healthy weight, I'm an ideal candidate for weight loss medication.

He said that intense physical aerobic activity needs to be part of this plan, but weight loss medications' original intention were people just like me: patients who for one reason or another were currently unable to exercise. If I were healthy, no ailments, he'd tell me to start running. But he cannot in good conscious do that as a physician (although if I want to refuse my neuro's orders, that's up to me, LOL), since he is aware of my spinal injury. So we need to look at other, proven safe methods, for helping to bring my weight down to a healthy level.

I don't know. I am certainly not against the idea, and what he says makes sense, but... I guess part of me feels like it would be giving up. And I'm not ready to do that yet. Or maybe I just need to think on it longer.

I told him "screw my surgeon", so since it was my choice, he went over what exercises he recommends for his patients with similar metabolic disorders, and why (ie. did you know swimming lowers your metabolism? ack!).

So for now, back on a new type of Metformin, keep trying to eat healthier, and try to increase my exercise. I go back in a few months, and he's ordered a bloodwork panel to be done just before that appointment. We'll check insulin levels, A1C, etc. but he'll also run my thyroid again just to be safe. He said that even though my last bloodwork showed normal thyroid function, since I do have a family history of hypothyroidism, it's something we should probably check every couple of years just to make sure nothing new has developed.

I really love my doctor. He's very thorough, and also very good at explaining how the body works in this way, why we do (or don't do) certain things, etc. I'm a "why" kinda gal, so I like someone who pre-emptively explains, LOL.

Anyway, I feel like I just wrote you a book! And believe it or not, I left a good chunk of our discussion out!

So, as always, thanks for checking in! I'll keep you posted on my progress!

Basic Economics

So... I just saw something about boycotting Papa Johns because they have stated they will need to increase the cost of a pizza approximately $0.15 to cover the increased healthcare costs imposed on them by Obamacare.

Um... is it really not common knowledge that when a company incurs additional expense, wherever it comes from, that it is relayed on to the consumer?

Gas prices rise = prices went up. High rates of theft = prices go up. Raw materials goods increase in price = price of final goods go up. Manpower costs increase (including health care coverage) = prices go up.

I don't understand why the surprise & outrage from people who supported Obamacare. Did they really not think this thru? Not even this very simple result of the legislation?

I mean, this is pretty basic economics. The money has to come from somewhere. In order for the companies to remain profitable & competitive, they must increase prices.

Pictures from Haiti

Here are some pics from Jason's recent mission trip to Haiti. It was a wonderful experience for him & his brothers, and they do plan to return in the future to continue serving the people of this country.

 

Their primary task was to aid in re-building a wall that was destroyed in the 2010 earthquake . This wall surrounds the Good Shepherd Orphanage and provided protection for the residents & staff.

 

Now, why would an orphanage need protection, need a huge all surrounding the campus? you might ask. Well, the sad fact is that the entire area is struggling. And by struggling, I mean desperate. Desperate to feed their own families. Since the wall has been down, the orphanages supplies, including much-needed food, have been stolen on a regular basis. Not out of any sense of evil or wrong-doing, but because families are desperate to provide for their own children. Without the wall, the simple fact is the orphanage cannot afford to continue, because it cannot afford to feed everyone. It is a very sad situation for all.

 

the orphanage has its own school

Besides the wall, another member of the team, Avi* came down to assist with the school's food program.

solar oven

 Avi is a successful pastry chef with his own business. He makes semi-regular trips to the orphanage to help them with their food program.

solar oven from the side

 He aids with the solar ovens, but he also creates recipes that are easy to make, with ingredients the orphanage has access to, that increase the nutrition provided to the children there. While there, he also spends time mentoring several of the older children in the art of baking, helping them develop life skills.

It's hard to believe the damage from an earthquake two years ago that still exists. In our country there would be no visible signs, nothing that anyone not very familiar with the area would recognize. Not every country is blessed with the resources that we have here.

damage to the inside of the orphange
half of the building is completely unusable

a view of the other side of the building
(ie. what it should look like)

as they started on the wall

when the boys left

Those are just a few of the pics he got, but I think those are the ones that best represent their trip.

As always, thanks for checking in!

________________________

* actually his real name

My Fat Butt - oh, well

Well, I reached a point in my frustration where I went back on my meds. I still had some left, so I just decided to do it. Told Fireman, and asked him to help me keep an eye out for side effects so I can stop them if I need to.

Three weeks of being on my meds.

Three weeks of even-more-strictly watching what I eat.

Three weeks of seeing our grocery spending increase while our restaurant spending decreases.

Three weeks of my husband making comments about how little I ate at such-and-such a meal.

Three weeks of getting even more exercise (but being careful, because my back is even worse - need to do a separate post on that).

Three weeks later... and I am holding steady. Haven't gained any more. But haven't lost so much as a pound. Not one.

And that's on my meds.

Got so frustrated that I took a pregnancy test (no, we're not trying. yes, I'm on birth control). It was negative. Not surprising, but I was hoping for an answer.

This has been my life. For as long as I can remember.

Add in side-eyes from thin people. Comments about how I should just eat less. Exercise more. It's easy!

It's not easy. Not for everyone.

What sent me to the endocrinologist in the first place was the tipping point of standing in the gym and having a trainer yell at me that I was lying to them. That after six weeks of following their program, if I had been following, I would have lost a ton of weight & inches.

I didn't. I lost one stinkin' pound. I went from not exercising at all, to working out 3 -5 times a week, including 1 -2 times a week with a personal trainer. I was doing my best to follow their eating plan. I'll admit I didn't manage 100% adherence, but it was a drastic change to what I had been doing beforehand.

And after six weeks I had only lost 1 lb.

And was being accused of lying. Because everyone loses weight when they make those changes.

Not everyone.

Not me.

See. Here I am again.

Part of me is depressed. I can't stand the way my body looks. Very few clothes fit (although I did give in & with FireMan's blessing spent $$ on a new work outfit).

Part of me is just... okay with it. I've tried. I an honestly say that I have tried. I have worked really hard. No matter what society says, I have nothing to be ashamed of. I gave it my best. And my body just refuses to be thin. Even with medical intervention.

So, what now? I'm not sure. I'm continuing to improve my eating: eating more & more at home, incorporating more & more fruits & veggies. Everything in moderation. I'm continuing to try to find ways to get exercise: we recently joined our local YMCA (year-round swimming! zero impact! yay!).

I've considered more drastic measures. Strict, programmed diets (ie. meal replacements & such). Even surgery (there are more options than I realized).

But as frustrated as I am, I'm not ready for anything drastic. At least not without guaranteed results, which no one can do.

Maybe I'll just learn to be content with this body. Maybe I'll hit a plateau, and stay there. Maybe I'll eventually learn to dress this body well (Geesh! It took me 25 years for this fashion-handicapped person to figure out how to dress my old pre-pregnancy body!). And maybe all of that is okay.

As always, thanks for checking in.

Jena Turns Four !!

staring at her cake,
waiting patiently for festivities to start

opening presents

pinata time!

time for Daddy to help get it open!

rainbow birthday cake!

Jena on Marriage

Who remembers this scene from Friends?

If you don't wanna watch the whole thing, fast forward to time mark 7:45 and watch till the end.

So, the following conversation happened in our house the other night.

Jena: I don't want to get married. Ever.

Me: Okay.

Jena: (clearly upset) But I have to.

Me: No you don't. Plus, you have plenty of time to decide.

Jena: Yes, I do.

Me: No, you don't. You know mommy's friend Miss Lori*? She's not married. Neither is Miss Brandi, or Miss Teri, or the other Miss Lori. They're not!

Jena: They're not?

Me: Nope.

Jena: Why not?

Me: Well... maybe they don't want to be married either. Or maybe they just haven't found the right person yet. All kinds of reasons. They're just not.

Jena: But I have to.

Me: No. You don't. If you grow up, and you really don't want to get married, you don't have to get married. Okay?

Jena: Okay.

Me: But hunny, can I ask you a question?

Jena: Uh huh.

Me: Why don't you want to get married?

Jena: (starting to cry, and said in the most pitiful whiny voice ever) BECAUSE THEN I HAVE TO LIVE WITH A BOOOOOYYY !!!!

*************************

*all names changed to protect privacy

Family Day at Kings Island

Every year my company hosts a family day at Kings Island, the nearest amusement park to our work location.

Perspective

I've been thinking a lot about perspective lately. Specifically how one's perspective on something greatly helps to shape their thoughts, feelings, and reactions to that something.

*******************

First, in relation to work. Maybe you remember my post asking my co-workers to stop whining. In that post I explain that everyone feels like they are getting a raw deal. And maybe some are. But from what I can see, what makes them feel this way is less what is actually going on, and more their perspective on what has occurred.

Because most of our upper management came from Group B, Group A feels like the org change has been a "takeover". From Group A members I've heard repeatedly "why do we have to do everything the way Group B did it?"

At the exact same time, our mgmt has taken pains to try to make Group A feel included, I've been in the meetings where they refused to change something just to not offend Group A. These actions lead to me hearing from Group B members "why do we have to do everything the way Group A did it?"

If it weren't so annoying, it's kinda funny. Members of both groups feel like "everything" is being done the way the other group did it, and their ways of doing things are being tossed aside.

*******************

Next, in relation to the SAHM vs Working Mom thing. I'm sure my last post on the subject may have ruffled a few feathers. I even debated not posting it, for that reason. But it's my blog, and it articulates well how I feel, so I kept it.

But I kept asking myself why it bothered me so much. And I finally realized. I feel like it's lopsided.

From my perspective - what I see, hear, and deal with on a daily basis - SAHMs get more support than working moms. That's what it boils down to. I'm hurt, upset, and a little angry that working moms aren't given the same support & respect for the job they do as moms.

I hear SAHMs complain about how busy they are, how much work they have to do, how their houses are messy and they can't find the time to get anything done - and I hear others telling them that oh, yes, you do hard work, it is hard to stay home, you do do a lot of work, no one can expect you to keep a clean house all the time because of everything else you have to do, can I babysit for you sometime so you can get something done / have some time to yourself.

I've heard it verbally, I see it posted on someone's wall or on a mommy message board probably weekly.

At the same time, if I say something about how busy I am, my house isn't clean, I can't find time to cook, or grocery shop, etc.... well, from my perspective instead of understanding and support, I get told (nicely or not so nicely) that I need to manage my time better.

I mean, if only I managed my time better, I would be better at meal planning, and could pre-cook all of my meals on Sunday to be re-heated during the week, I could cook more.

If only I managed my time better, I could follow FlyLady or Organized Home or Martha Stewart and my house would be clean.

If only I managed my time better, I could clip coupons and maintain a good grocery list, and zip thru the grocery store in no time, and still spend less money.

Oddly enough, I get more criticism from fellow working moms, and the understanding I do get usually comes from SAHMs.  Honestly, I would think it would be the other way around.

At the same time that my perspective tells me SAHMs get more understanding & support than WMs, I also acknowledge the perspective of a lot of SAHMs feel exactly the opposite. And maybe if all of us could somehow take a step back and see things from a completely objective third-party position, then maybe all of our insecurities, and hard feelings, and emotional ickiness would just fall away.

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Those are just two issues, but this idea of perspective has infiltrated my thoughts on nearly every topic over the past few weeks. From Entitlement, to Presidential Debates, to Volunteer Work, to Religion, to Infertility, and so much more... perspective.