Dear Family (and friends):

I can't please you all. Never gonna happen. Not possible.

So please stop asking me to do such-and-such because that's how you like it, or not to do such-and-such because so-and-so's gonna think whatchamacallit.

Because no matter what I do, it is impossible to accomodate all of you 100%.

So instead, I'm just gonna continue doing what works best for me and my husband & daughter, and you can play along if you like, or go your own way if you like, and we'll all just be happy whatever the outcome, 'kay?

Thanks.