Dear Toilet Squatter:

I respect your freedom to choose to squat over the toilet.

However, I choose not to squat. I choose to sit.

Why? Because I understand that unless I have an open sore on my butt (which I do not), then the chances of me catching any dread disease from a toilet seat is minimal. Which, to me, makes squatting just not worth it.

That being said, just because I'm not afraid of catching something from the toilet seat, does not mean that I don't deserve to be able to sit on a DRY toilet seat.

That's right. Your aim SUCKS.

Learn to aim, or at least have the courtesy to turn around & wipe your pee off the seat before you leave.

For someone who is so dainty, or whatever, that you can't sit on a toilet seat, you sure are disgusting, leaving your own bodily fluids sitting around like that.

Oh, and BTW, I will (and have in the past) call you out on it, if I happen to enter the stall right behind you. Whether I sit in it, or notice it & wipe down the seat myself, I have no problem calling you out on it in front of whomever else happens to be there.

Thank you. Have a nice day. And remember the Girl Scout code: leave this place better than you found it. Not pissier.