or photographs. or video. or any way to see ourselves at all.
What would this life be like?
I vote: better. happier.
The week we were on our cruise, the only mirrors available were head high - meaning all you could see was essentially your portrait. No way to check on how your body looked in a certain outfit, nothing.
And I was happy. And I felt good about myself. And I was confident. And I felt attractive. I daresay on occasion I even felt sexy.
And then we came home. And I was still feeling pretty good. Until I saw the pictures of me from our trip. And was reminded of how much weight I have to lose. And was disgusted with how fat I looked.
I know. This post says more about me and my personal struggles than anything. But I have to wonder. How much better would life be without any way to judge how you looked?
Do you ever wonder if you need professional help? Seriously. Sometimes I think this is a bigger issue for me than it should be.
I mean, on our trip, I felt really good about myself. I knew full well that by conventional standards I wasn't as attractive as the other women on the cruise, but I didn't care. I achieved a lot last week. Had a lot of firsts. Spent some great quality time with my hubby. I was confident. I was fun. I sought out adventure. I liked who I was.
Now? Back home, remembering how fat & gross I am? I have no confidence. I pretty much think I stink at everything. I wonder what people think when they see me. I'm not motivated to do much. And I dare say all this makes me less fun & less attractive.
Maybe I do need help.