I've decided I've been worrying way too much about my weight lately.
Don't get me wrong, I know I have weight to lose, I'd like to lose a few pounds.
But I need to stop focusing on the number on the scale.
We're trying to get pregnant, there will be another life depending on me. I need to shift my focus.
I'm still watching my portions, but I've begun putting greater focus on what I'm eating. More fruits & veggies. More salads & nuts. Lean meats. Fruits. Veggies.
Did I mention fruits & veggies?
In case you weren't aware, I'm ont a big fruits & veggies eater. Or at least, I wasn't.
I am not. More than how much I eat, I need to make sure I am eating things that are good for me.
I still watch my portions, but am not as concerned anymore. The meds my endo put me on some two years ago, well, I see the positive effects it has made on my body. Like how now I can go to a restaurant and order a half-order salad and leave feeling full, whereas before a meal like that would have left me wanting more.
And as far as weight goes, well, I know the last time we were trying I gained 14 lbs the first six weeks off of birth control, due to hormonal changes. So I can't be surprised that this time, despite watching my eating & getting regular exercise, I've already gained nine lbs in five weeks.
I need to stop beating myself up about stuff like this, and just focus on being healthy. It's not just about me anymore. It's not about wanting to see a certain number on a scale, or being able to fit into a certain article of clothing. It's about preparing my body to carry my child.
And if hormonal changes or bloat or whatever leave me a few pounds heavier, half a size bigger, then so be it. As long as I know I am making positive changes to be healthier, then I need to be okay with that.
So that's where I am right now. As always, thanks for checking in.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
On to try again next month
First cycle = negative
Not surprised. I mean, first cycle, really?
I was wondering though, to be honest. I've had some "symptoms" of pregnancy, except I also know that most of them can also be attributed to the fact that I just suddenly stopped hormonal birth control. So no biggie.
What did have me wondering is the waves of nausea that I've experienced daily for the past week. Like right now as I type this. And the fact that no food ever sounds good. I force myself to eat, but would really be happy living on popsicles, if I could get away with it. So far that's the only thing that doesn't make me want to throw up thinking about it.
Today I'm gonna try Jello, to see if that works as well. I feel like I can get away with Jello moreso than popsicles. I mean, what am I gonna do, put a box of popsicles in the community freezer at work? Eat one for dinner at home when I tell Jena she can't have any until after her dinner? Isn't very practical.
Tomorrow was the worst, and I came very close to leaving work because of it.
But the there's also some sickness going around as well, so maybe I'm trying to get sick? Although you'd think after a week I'd either actually get sick, or feel better.
So here I am, exhausted for no reason, constipated, headaches, and nauseaus, but also with my period and a negative pregnancy test.
Hopefully the longer I'm off birth control the other "symptoms" will settle down, and whatever is causing this nausea will go away as well.
On to try again next month! Thanks for checking in!
Not surprised. I mean, first cycle, really?
I was wondering though, to be honest. I've had some "symptoms" of pregnancy, except I also know that most of them can also be attributed to the fact that I just suddenly stopped hormonal birth control. So no biggie.
What did have me wondering is the waves of nausea that I've experienced daily for the past week. Like right now as I type this. And the fact that no food ever sounds good. I force myself to eat, but would really be happy living on popsicles, if I could get away with it. So far that's the only thing that doesn't make me want to throw up thinking about it.
Today I'm gonna try Jello, to see if that works as well. I feel like I can get away with Jello moreso than popsicles. I mean, what am I gonna do, put a box of popsicles in the community freezer at work? Eat one for dinner at home when I tell Jena she can't have any until after her dinner? Isn't very practical.
Tomorrow was the worst, and I came very close to leaving work because of it.
But the there's also some sickness going around as well, so maybe I'm trying to get sick? Although you'd think after a week I'd either actually get sick, or feel better.
So here I am, exhausted for no reason, constipated, headaches, and nauseaus, but also with my period and a negative pregnancy test.
Hopefully the longer I'm off birth control the other "symptoms" will settle down, and whatever is causing this nausea will go away as well.
On to try again next month! Thanks for checking in!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Stupid Hormones
Debated whether or not to post this, because it's kinda personal. But then I realized it's part of the journey that I'm sharing with you, and I know there are others out there with similar experiences, so... here goes:
I have no sex drive.
Ever since I stopped birth control, I have virtually no interest in sex. At all.
This is unusual for me. I normally have (what I have been told is) a very high sex drive (for a woman). Now? Meh.
Not really interested. Not as enjoyable as it used to be. At no fault of my loving hubs.
I was confused for a while, then I realized it must be the hormone changes from stopping birth control.
Kind of ironic, isn't it? Trying to conceive, but no interest in the act needed to conceive.
On another stopping-birth-control note, I've gained three pounds since I stopped it. Despite starting a new exercise routine, cutting down on my portions, eating more fruits & veggies, and taking the meds my endocrinologist has me on for my metabolic disorder.
I shouldn't be surprised. The last time we were TTC I gained 14 lbs in the six weeks from when I stopped birth control to when I got pregnant. I remember my Ob/Gyn telling me it was normal, and I probably would have lost it just as easily over the next few months if I hadn't gotten pregnant so quickly. I guess we'll see, huh?
Ugh.
I have no sex drive.
Ever since I stopped birth control, I have virtually no interest in sex. At all.
This is unusual for me. I normally have (what I have been told is) a very high sex drive (for a woman). Now? Meh.
Not really interested. Not as enjoyable as it used to be. At no fault of my loving hubs.
I was confused for a while, then I realized it must be the hormone changes from stopping birth control.
Kind of ironic, isn't it? Trying to conceive, but no interest in the act needed to conceive.
On another stopping-birth-control note, I've gained three pounds since I stopped it. Despite starting a new exercise routine, cutting down on my portions, eating more fruits & veggies, and taking the meds my endocrinologist has me on for my metabolic disorder.
I shouldn't be surprised. The last time we were TTC I gained 14 lbs in the six weeks from when I stopped birth control to when I got pregnant. I remember my Ob/Gyn telling me it was normal, and I probably would have lost it just as easily over the next few months if I hadn't gotten pregnant so quickly. I guess we'll see, huh?
Ugh.
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