Monday, December 13, 2010

I Don't Wanna Do This Anymore

I'm tired of struggling. Tired of fighting. Tired of not being good enough. Well, tired of not feeling like I'm good enough.

I'm tired of wondering. Tired of watching. Tired of waiting. Tired of battling. Tired of proving myself. Tired of taking the high road.

Tired of being tired.

Tired of being judged. Tired of being accused. Tired of never having enough to give. Tired of feeling like I'm not satisfying... anyone. Tired of being pulled in all directions. Tired of giving 110%, but since that means everyone only gets about 5% each, tired of shortchanging everyone in my life.

Tired of being on the edge. Tired of teetering over the edge.

Tired of being dependent. Tired of others being dependent on me. Tired of everyone wanting a piece of me. Tired of no one wanting me.

Tired of giving.

Tired of wondering. Tired of thinking. Tired of being wary. Tired of not trusting. Tired of not trusting. Tired of not trusting. Tired of not trusting.

Tired of not trusting.

Tired of being "on" 24/7. Tired of being looked down on. Tired of being judged. Tired of others not thinking I'm doing a good job.

I'm doing the best I can.

Tired of being sorry. Tired of being tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of being tired.

Tired of wondering. Tired of waiting. Tired of thinking. Tired of being reminded. Tired of caring. Tired of wondering.

Tired of being sick. Tired of staying awake. Tired of no sleep. Tired of this feeling in the pit of my stomach. Tired of wondering. Tired of watching. Tired of waiting.

Tired of being told I'm weak. Tired of choosing my battles, then being told I should've still fought harder. Whose war is this anyway?

Tired of being wary. Tired of wondering. Tired of not trusting. Tired of not trusting. Tired of not trusting.




I don't wanna do this anymore.



I'd like to quit now.

1 comment:

marvimarti.com said...

OH the many days I sought the resignation line and wished there really was one.

Praying for you, take some time for you to recharge your battery.

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