Quick Catch Up

Things have been pretty crazy around here lately.

Mostly at work.

We had a huge organizational announcement a couple of weeks ago, that has me busting my tail every day for probably the next month or so.

Basically the division I belong to is dissolving, but they're starting a new division, which will consist of the members of my division, plus the members of several groups of another division within the company.

We're more than doubling in size, the entire thing is a huge re-org, and... my job is to facilitate all of the administrative functions to get the new division up & running.

Everything from the complicated:
    - shared drive (merging the electronic files of all parties into a new drive without screwing things up too badly)
    - budget (coordinating the very first budget of the new division with managers who mostly have never done budgeting before and an Accounting group who had never added a new division before)
    - website (deciding content, branding, design, etc and creating the new website for the new division)

To the fairly simple, but still needs to be done, and still takes some coordination:
    - division calendar (our new VP wants a very specific format, and getting the dates that all interested parties think are important)
    - mail codes (new mail codes for everyone had to be coordinated w/ HR & the MailRoom)
    - updated company phonebook (involved coordination with Information Systems and multiple administrative assistants)
    - group email addresses (determining appropriate groups, gaining upper mgmt approval, then working with Information Systems to establish)

Plus being the overall contact for anything & everything administratively related to this change, trying to continue my basic job functions, and being annoyed to death by a General Manager (whole 'nother story).

And just to add some emotional stress to the top of the busyness, let's throw in that about half the people involved in this move are not happy about it and are making it known, some of them loudly. Some of them management. Some of them calling me repeatedly to complain about everything from the shared drive to the mail codes to having to order new business cards.

Plus the fact that I was explicitly told that I am "temporarily" handling these functions, and even though my role has been division-wide support for the past seven years, and I know for a fact no one else in the new division has the experience in these functions that I do, basically they haven't decided what my job function will be once the dust settles. In other words, while I'm temporarily busy with items with which I'm familiar, essentially I don't know what my job is anymore.

Cue anxiety attack.

Especially when you consider that all signs are pointing to the fact that upper management is apparently considering sending me off to one of the other groups. In another building. To report to the manager that has probably been the most vocal about being ticked off about this change, and who, the last time I was over there, I was told I should probably hide from.

Pardon me while I vomit.

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In other news Chief is progressing nicely in his housebreaking. It's more work than I anticipated, but I think he's doing pretty well (although I admit I have no frame of reference at all).

Probably the biggest problem we have right now is him nipping at FireGirl while playing. And she just is not understanding that swatting at him, yelling in a high-pitched voice, then running down the hall - well, it's essentially puppy language for "hey, that was fun, do it again"

It's a communication problem.

Of course, if FireMan or I yell "no" in a deep, stern voice, Chief is quick to quit (he really is a good pup), but we need to get her to give him commands in a way he understands. We need to express to him that in the pack order, she is above him, and right now he treats her more like another puppy, like an equal. If we don't nip it in the bud very soon (no pun intended), then it won't be long before he's trying to dominate her.

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We had FireGirl's very first parent-teacher conference. The teacher said she's very smart, and likes math very much. She's starting to warm up socially and has a few friends she plays with. That's the short version.

We really like her teacher, and if we stay there she'll be in the same class from now thru kindergarten.

And the more I learn about and see montessori education first-hand, the more I like the concept, especially for younger children.

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I suppose that's all for now. Pretty much what's going on in our lives.

I'll try to find time to get on here & write, but I know the next few weeks are going to be crazy, so no promises. But I'll be back eventually. That I can promise.

Till next time, thanks for checking in!

It probably comes off looking like pride...

... but I swear it's not.

I don't want to apologize anymore. To anyone.

It's not that I think I'm right all the time. Far from it.

It's that I'm tired of always being the one to say I'm sorry.

It just seems like lately - and by lately, I mean for the last few years - it seems like whether I am completely at fault, equally at fault, or a tiny bit at fault, it seems like I am always the one who apologizes, the one who takes the first step, the one who bends first, the one who takes the first effort to makes amends.

Am I talking about my marriage? Yes. I'm also talking about family relationships, friends, even work relationships.

And I'm tired of it.

Yes, I admit that sometimes I'm wrong. And I usually have no problem admitting when I'm wrong. And even if I'm only partially at fault - and let's face it, in most disputes both parties are usually partially at fault in some way - I'm usually willing to accept responsibility for where I have gone wrong, apologize, and try to heal the relationship.

It's just that... well, sometimes the other party has to be the one to say I'm sorry.

Let's face it. Statistically, it's an impossibility that everything is actually my fault.

But for me to be the one that always apologizes first, always takes the initial step to fix the problem in the relationship... well it leaves the impression that I am wholly to blame, and they get off scott free, never having to say "sorry", never having to adjust their behavior, never having to change anything.

So this time... I don't wanna say it. I wanna hear it. And I want it to be sincere.

And yes, I am accepting partial responsibility for the issue at hand. Partial. But I don't wanna say I'm sorry. Not because I don't think I'm at fault, not because I don't wanna accept responsibility, but just because I'm tired of it.

For once, I want the other party to take the first step, to meet me halfway and to get there first, to make the first gesture that they want to repair the relationship.

Maybe it sounds silly. Maybe it sounds prideful. At this point, I don't really care.

It's partially my own fault. I think sometimes I'm too quick to make amends, too quick to try to make nice. Sometimes, believe it or not, I can be a doormat. I don't mean to be. I just like to be nice to people. And I want people to be happy. But sometimes in efforts to make people happy, it seems like I get lost.

And I'm tired of it.

Meet the New Fire Chief

 

Yep, we've added to our FireFamily. Meet Chief.

He's an 8 week old shepherd mix we adopted from a local rescue last weekend.

We've been thinking about it for a while. I've wanted another guardian dog to help Buddy (old & blind [Tootsie] and little [Flopsy] are no help) for a while now, plus both Tootsie and Buddy are nearing the end of their lifespan.

Tootsie is on year 12 of a 10-13 year lifespan, plus us heartworm positive.

Buddy we're estimating to be around 11 years old, and should have a 12-14 yr lifespan.

And, personally, I'd rather add a new pup now, then lose one, then lose a dog then have it be like we're trying to "replace" the old one. Does that make sense?

We (okay, mostly me, but I'm a little anxious like that) spent a lot of time thinking about what kind of dog would best fit in our family. And I mean, a lot of time.

Shepherd of some sort was a must. And a guardian-type shepherd (ie. Anatolian, Great Pyrenees, German Shepherd, etc) not a herding type shepherd (ie border collie, cattle dog, etc). Mix was okay, but absolutely no hunting breeds, due to the strong prey drives.

And a lot of other factors. Large size. Longer fur. Puppy. Blah, blah, blah.

We'd been looking for about a month, and decided to stop by this rescue on the way to my parents' house. And there he was.

And he's perfect.

He's living in the house while he's a baby, partially because, well, it's winter and it's cold, but also to properly housetrain him, acclimate him to the cat (ie. no eating cats), acclimate him to playing with a little girl (ie. no knocking over little girls) and basically just learning how to behave.

We've only had him a few days, but so far things are going very well. Buddy has been the slowest to accept the newcomer, but considering he's a guardian dog, it's to be expected. He's been insistent on asserting his alpha status around Chief, which I suppose is normal, but I didn't expect him to do so while the puppy was this young.

What can I say? I've never had a puppy before. Heck, these dogs are my first dogs, and they were Jason's.

So Chief spends some time outside every day not only for potty breaks, but we also make sure he gets "play time" with the other dogs. Which basically means he plays while they watch him & occasionally give him a good sniff.

When he gets older he'll gradually spend more & more time outside, until he's outside full-time with the other dogs.

Ideally I'd like to eventually have all working guardian dogs, especially if we continue to expand our "flock" as we'd like.

Which reminds me... need to introduce him to the chickens soon (ie. don't eat the chickens).

Anyway, he's very smart, already responding to his name, to "come", "go to bed", "go to your room", and "out".
He's doing fabulously in his potty-training.

Okay, this is my opinion, anyway. And as I stated above, I have absolutely no frame of reference, but... for being so young, and only working on it for a few days... I think he's doing great!

He's brave, seriously - not afraid of anything - which is a little annoying in a puppy, but will be great in a guardian dog.
Very laid back, relaxed. Plays, but isn't crazy hyper or difficult to handle or anything.
Quiet - I hadn't heard him bark at all until last night.

Honestly, in a lot of ways he reminds me of Buddy. Which just tickles me to pieces. I suppose only time will tell, but I even think he looks a lot like a miniature black Buddy.

So there you are. The newest member of this FireFamily. The Chief.

As always, thanks for checking in!