Alright, I need to say this. Seriously, it’s a need. As in,
if I don’t put it out there, I’m going to explode.
Recently a married couple who are close to me had their
marital struggles come to a head when the wife discovered that the husband has
been having an affair. For at least a year.
It sucks. It’s a horrible situation. I feel for her. My
heart breaks for her. I pray for both of them. While I’m angry at him, I also
know that part of him is hurting too.
But that’s not really what this post is about. This is about
the reactions I’m seeing around me.
You see, my circle is (mostly) closer to him. I may be the
only one in my circle who had a closer relationship with her.
And the reactions of those around me to the situation are
blowing my mind.
Why?
Because there has been far more criticism of how she is reacting to the news,
than to the fact that he did it at all.
You see, she chose to inform the world via Facebook. Now,
not the best idea, I agree. And I think she agrees as well, as she deleted her
original post announcing his cheating heart.
She now occasionally posts things about wondering how
someone who was supposed to love you could be so mean, how heartbroken she is,
etc. but nothing directly about the cheating.
But all I hear is:
“Can you believe she posted that on Facebook?!?”
“She shouldn’t have spread the word like that. It’s not
helping anything.”
“Isn’t she thinking about their kids at all? Can you imagine
reading that on Facebook about your own father?”
And so on and so forth.
Here’s the thing. I agree… to a point. But it would be much
easier for me to agree with them if they said one word about what he did.
Where are the exclamations of:
“Can you believe he did that to her?!?”
“He shouldn’t have been unfaithful like that. It does no
good.”
“Wasn’t he thinking about their kids at all?!? Can you
imagine being unfaithful to your children’s mother?!?”
What bothers me isn’t so much the criticism of her actions (Although,
personally, I’m not in that position, and I’m also a firm believer in if it
happened to you then it’s your story to tell. If she finds it helpful to put it
out there, it’s her story), what bothers me is the lack of criticism of his actions.
How can you criticize her reaction to the news, but not be
just slamming him for what he did to cause the news? He broke his marital vows.
He cheated on his wife of 20 years. He snuck, and lied, and cheated.
How can you criticize her reaction without judging him for
creating the news? After all, if he had never done it, she would have nothing
to talk about.
Again, do I think plastering such information on social
media is the best way to handle these situations? No. But then again I’m not in
her position (and by the way, neither are any of the people making these
critiques of her actions).
But it blows my mind how they can feel comfortable
criticizing her, without judging him 100 times as harshly for his actions.
And it’s kinda pissing me off.
That's all for now. As always, thanks for checking in.
