Depression Lies

I just want to say something about the tragedy of Robin Williams passing. And the passing of so many others.

Yes, depression is a mental illness. Yes, there is a chemical, physical, physiological reason that some succumb to the illness more than others. Yes, I have suffered from depression myself, and yes once upon a time I seriously considered ending it.

I was tired of hurting. Tired of the pain. Not so much the physical, but the emotional, the heartbreak that was so bad I could feel it, the pain in my chest that just wouldn't stop hurting.

And I thought of the bottles of narcotics I had in my possession to treat my physical pain, and I thought about taking them. All of them.

Then I called my friend, and I told him. And he saved me that night, just by talking to me.

And I don't know what would have happened if he hadn't picked up the phone.

Like any illness, there is the ability to fight it. To try your hardest to claw your way out of the deep, dark pit. Like any serious illness there will be times when it feels as if we cannot overcome it. Like any hardship, there will be times when it seems as though things will not get better.

But depression lies. Satan lies. And yes, I think Satan uses depression as a tool to stamp out the light in those suffering.

Despite knowing how difficult fighting depression might be, I am wary of saying things like "Robin Williams didn't kill himself, the disease did." I am wary of saying things like "he was helpless". I am wary of saying things like "Genie, you're free."

Each of these statements, well-intentioned though they may be, take away our power and romanticize the illness. We have the power to fight.

You have the power to fight.

Yes you, who is reading this, who might be suffering from depression yourself, who might be tired of fighting, who might be thinking of ways to stop the fight...

You can do this.

You can fight it.

If you choose to end your fight, you are killing yourself. You are letting the disease win. You are giving your illness your power, you are choosing to stop fighting.

I know it's hard. I know at times it seems impossible.

I know. I've been there.

But you can do this.

You can fight it. You can call a friend. You can tell your parents. You can seek help.

You can email me.

You can call a hotline (1-800-273-8255).

You can pray.

You can choose not to believe the lies. You can stop believing the lies.

You can do this.

Don't listen to them. Don't listen to the things people are writing and posting saying that sometimes victims of depression have no choice, can't help themselves. Don't give your illness that much power.

Depression took that from you? Take it back. It's yours. It is your power, not its power. You are amazing and strong, and look how hard you've fought so far! You've already done so much. You do not have to give up now.

People are romanticizing depression and death, saying that now he's free.

There is no freedom in suicide.

There is pain, and heartache, and questions, and guilt that will torment God-knows-how-many people.

There is no healing in suicide. There is only spreading the pain.

Yes, depression is an illness. Yes, we need to reduce and remove the stigma attached to it, and to all mental illness. Yes, there are treatments available. Yes, you can fight it.

If you are in that place right now, please listen to me. I believe in you. You can do this. It won't be easy. It won't be quick. But you are strong enough, you are enough.

You are worth saving. You have light to show the world. You have amazing, beautiful light that some of us have yet to see. Let us see it.

Depression lies. Satan lies.

"You'll get thru this. It won't be easy. It won't be quick. But God will will use this mess for good. Don't be foolish or naive. But don't despair either, you'll get thru this."  -- Max Lucado